Need help

[RFLH]

I should try to give up understanding - there's never a definitive answer. You will drive yourself mad going over everything you've ever done or said, trying to pinpoint just when it went wrong.

Have you been to see your GP about this? They will be able to help you either by meds or referring you for counselling.

I'm sorry to hear about your dogs, its a shame that they've got caught in the crossfire.

[milliesdad]

I does not get any better I can not get her out of my head, How can the police and cps do this, How can it go on the way they do it. What are the chances of the being NFA, From what I have seen on the web they dont need DNA or have any profe just her word

[Casehardened]

How can the police and cps do this, How can it go on the way they do it.

Due to the present political climate (prompted by 'Harrier' Harman & Co.) the police and CPS are under instructions to investigate every reported rape, & generally this means arrest, interview, & bail whilst the CPS consider the facts (or lack of them) if there is any possibility at all that the offence might have been committed.

If the accuser is a family member then there are usually 'windows of opportunity' and that is why they must be investigated. Quite possibly the police/CPS have already made up their mind but they still must go through their procedures in order not to be criticized by the accuser (or their solicitor)

Of course this isn't answering your real question as to why your wife made the accusation.........

[milliesdad]

QUOTE If the accuser is a family member then there are usually 'windows of opportunity' and that is why they must be investigated.] what does this mean

[RFLH]

it means that plod will attempt to move the goalposts - make the crime fit into a timescale so vague that you will find it hard to provide proof of your innocence.

at least I think that's what's meant!

[milliesdad]

There is no proof, she said it happen about 4 weeks before, when we tried it, it was 22 jan, so is it they are dragging it out, after all no dna, no one was there she stayed 8 weeks before she left.

[Casehardened]

QUOTE If the accuser is a family member then there are usually 'windows of opportunity' and that is why they must be investigated.] what does this mean

Sorry, my answer was a bit vague. What I meant was that if the accuser and accused are related then it is more than likely they will have been alone together at some time or another and therefore it is 'possible' that the rape occurred.

If a complete stranger made the accusation, the accused might have an alibi to prove it couldn't have happened. (but even then, as RFLH rightly says, the 'victim' may then change the dates/times)

We are then in a word against word senario; she says he did and he says he didn't, and, as you already know, the only evidence the police need to start investigations is the unsupported word of the victim.

[milliesdad]

I can not work it out

[milliesdad]

She on the change
She is taking aunt-depressions again and has been from beginning of Jan
She has come out with things for no reason at all
Saying things like “Everyone would be better off without me”
Expressing strong feelings of hopelessness for no reason
Waking in the early hours of the morning
Increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.
She has been more short-tempered than usual she has slapped me two time that come to light for what I see has no reason(I did not responded)
Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities we have planned to go out then she does not want to go.

A friend came to see to dogs when I was with the Police, he asked if she was up to her old thing with drink as 2 litre bottles of vodka on the side, When I went to work on 15th March there was half a bottle only.

[friday]

^this stuff should not be be used in court (saying that it could be....) but her change in mood doesn't say a thing about whether it happened or not. although it could be why she made the accusation it could also be a result of rape so it is unlikely to do you any favours as you will seem to be critising her character. just to clarify i am not saying you did do it just pointing out how this kind of critisism could be interpreted.

[milliesdad]

I was not critising her character or I do not mean it that way, far from it I love her to bits, But from what I am seeing on this and the web there is no hope. Sounds very much like I may aswell give up life now get is over with at least it will stop the pain. I 3 weeks I have gone from 13 st to 10 1/2 stone I really dont see the point in going on, Thanks for your help need did find good sols for this case in Norfolk. Anyway all the best

[LS]

Milliesdad, you need to have some patience and hope. These cases take up to a number of months before they either get to being dropped or go to court. There is nothing you can do to shorten that.
The reason(s) why a loved one would do all this are hard to fathom, and harder still to endure, but go through it we do. We have all lost someone near and dear to us, so you're not alone, but it's important to realise that life goes on and that there are other reasons to be.
I think you're also terrified of What If, if it goes to court. Well, the worst that can happen is that you get a conviction against your name. That's the worst. I am living proof that you can get through such a barrier. I was convicted of something I didn't do and the tabloids would happily have me lynched because the fact I'm innocent is lost on them.
Now if I can get through that, and I'm not a strong character particularly, then I'm sure you can. I think you need to see your GP and either get some counselling or see if he/she can get you some medicinal help to calm you down.
You WILL get through this, I promise you.

[milliesdad]

My wife is now asking to come to the house with Police here family in a sols letter for her bits, she is asking for things that are not here I believe she has already taken them, what do I do, She is now after the house which is in my name only.

[RFLH]

If its in your name there's not a lot she can do. Make sure that your solicitor is up to speed with all this and ask if you have to let her in.

I suggest that you put all her things into bin bags and put them outside for her to pick up at the arranged time.

[Rights Fighter]

If its in your name there's not a lot she can do. Make sure that your solicitor is up to speed with all this and ask if you have to let her in.

I suggest that you put all her things into bin bags and put them outside for her to pick up at the arranged time.

Milliesdad said:
My wife is now asking to come to the house with Police here family in a sols letter for her bits, she is asking for things that are not here I believe she has already taken them

If there is nothing in the house that belongs to your wife then let the police in - with her if necessary so they can see that what she is saying is untrue - although she could also claim you have got rid of it.

A few years back I kicked my then partner out. He sent uniformed police round in a marked car which was embarrassing at 9.30pm in the summer so it was light.

He told the officer that I had stolen his stuff or was going to sell it. I took him around the flat and showed him the pile of stuff that belonged to the little sh*t - which proved I still had stuff (he had left it behind deliberately so he could come back).

The officer took it away to take it the ex so I wouldn't be bothered by him again.

So let them in to check out what you have. Make sure you have a friend there - preferably somebody of relative high standing in the community so that the officer / your ex cannot falsely claim that something was said or happened.