Need help

[milliesdad]

Hi
2 weeks ago I came home from working away all week, to find that my wife had gone. The next day I went to the bank to move some money from the joint bank account to which my wife and her sister were the. I asked her why she was doing all this and shes did not say anything. Here sister was doing all the gobbing saying she was going to get the police, Anyway to cut a long stories short the police came and took me away say that I had anal raped my wife that at 10.00am they talked to me about this at 1 am the next day. told them that I raded her some 4 weeks before which is untrue. 2 years before we changed her car that was in the July 2008 then in the oct she left I looked for her to which she had rented a house 1 mile up the road, I went around and asked her why, she was so loving and said she could not put up with the falling out. She hugged me and want to make love but I could not as the for want she was doing, the next day she came around to see me and said she needed time, I was in a right mess. The next day she rang me saying she had got in the car and just needes to think, it turned out she had gone on holiday for a week, she rang me, I rang her, she asked me to meet her at the airport to which I did, cost me a £140 to get a taxi. Antway we stayed in a hotel for the nite and yes we made love, when we got back to are home she came back and stayed in are home, she still had the rented house for 6 mouth. in the mar 2009 she let it go. we were getting on good but what I did not know was that she was seeing the car salesman on the side. I then we had a falling out over the 2nd phone she had.

I told her to leave as it looked like she was seeing someone she said she was not seeing anyone to which I beleaved her. Anyway she rented a cottage. In the mean time we spent alot of time together and being so loving. She was my world she was my dream come true she was everything a man could want. She was staying at my home most of the time, then one sunday last year I went to the airfield to which I was told about this man. I came home and she was in bed, I asked her to come down so we could talk, When I told her what I knew she went so red I knew it was true. She said she had done it cos of us falling out, I said you know I love you. To which she hugged me and took me to bed. I did see this man and told him to stay well away. In the april she went on a hen nite in leeds, that weekend it mans wife came around saying all kinds of things, I rang my wife and told her she said she was so sorry. when she got back we talked and she said I was the one she wanted, then we moved all her bits back and used the cottage to get away from the diy that was going on at home. when the let ran out we gave it up. In May 2009 this mans wife waited up the road for the wife and then beat her up. I got a call from the wife telling me and I told her to call the police and I was on my way home. After that she asked me to put up CCTV and she stopped coming home at dinner time, we changed the car again.
One nite in Dec 2009 we were sat down at home having a drink and she looked down, I asked her what was wrong she said she felt fat and un sexy I told her we were in are 50's and both the same, I said you have all these sexy things upstairs that are size 10-12 that you dont fit in to anymore so get rid of them. I said here is £100 go and get something that you feel make you sexy because I still thing you are the love of me life. to which she did I came home on the friday and she was so sexy we made love time and time again, it was better that when we first met married life was great. I would come home at the weekends and we would try all sorts. 1 Nite in Jan I came home and yes she was dressed up we start make love and we start to try anal, I was about half way in and I could see she was in pain and it did not feel right so I pulled out went upstairs and washed myself and when i came down we made love the normal way. Then on the 20 mar 2010 the police say I anal raped her as she said she said stop, this was not the case, I am on police bail and not alound to talk or see my wife, How can they do this, why is she doing this, I have to go back on the 12 april about bail, I know they will just re-bail what can I do, I get so down, even looked at ending my life

[milliesdad]

Hi sorry I am in mess so have checked this on
2 weeks ago I came home from working away all week, to find that my wife had gone. The next day I went to the bank to move some money from the joint bank account to which my wife and her sister were the. I asked her why she was doing all this and she’s did not say anything. Her sister was doing all the gobbing saying she was going to get the police, Anyway to cut a long stories short the police came and took me away say that I had anal raped my wife that at 10.00am they talked to me about this at 1 am the next day. Told them that I rape her some 4 weeks before which is untrue.

2 years before we changed her car that was in the July 2008 then in the oct she left I looked for her to which she had rented a house 1 mile up the road, I went around and asked her why, she was so loving and said she could not put up with the falling out. She hugged me and want to make love but I could not asked what she was doing, the next day she came around to see me and said she needed time, I was in a right mess. The next day she rang me saying she had got in the car and just needs to think, it turned out she had gone on holiday for a week, she rang me, I rang her, and she asked me to meet her at the airport to which I did, cost me a £140 to get a taxi. Anyway we stayed in a hotel for the night and yes we made love, when we got back to are home she came back and stayed in are home, she still had the rented house for 6 mouths. In the mar 2009 she let it go. We were getting on good but what I did not know was that she was seeing the car salesman on the side. I then we had a falling out over the 2nd phone she had.

I told her to leave as it looked like she was seeing someone she said she was not seeing anyone to which I believed her. Anyway she rented a cottage. In the mean time we spent a lot of time together and being so loving. She was my world she was my dream come true she was everything a man could want. She was staying at my home most of the time, then one Sunday last year I went to the airfield to which I was told about this man. I came home and she was in bed, I asked her to come down so we could talk, when I told her what I knew she went so red I knew it was true. She said she had done it cos of us falling out, I said you know I love you. To which she hugged me and took me to bed. I did see this man and told him to stay well away.
In the April she went on a hen night in Leeds, that weekend it man’s wife came around saying all kinds of things, I rang my wife and told her she said she was so sorry. When she got back we talked and she said I was the one she wanted, then we moved all her bits back and used the cottage to get away from the diy that was going on at home. When the let ran out we gave it up. In May 2009 this man’s wife waited up the road for the wife and then beat her up. I got a call from the wife telling me and I told her to call the police and I was on my way home. After that she asked me to put up CCTV and she stopped coming home at dinner time, we changed the car again.
One night in Dec 2009 we were sat down at home having a drink and she looked down, I asked her what was wrong she said she felt fat and un sexy I told her we were in are 50's and both the same, I said you have all these sexy things upstairs that are size 10-12 that you don’t fit in to anymore so get rid of them. I said here is £100 go and get something that you feel make you sexy because I still think you are the love of my life. to which she did I came home on the Friday and she was so sexy we made love time and time again, it was better that when we first met married life was great. I would come home at the weekends and we would try all sorts. 1 Night in Jan I came home and yes she was dressed up we start make love and we start to try anal, I was about half way in and I could see she was in pain and it did not feel right so I pulled out went upstairs and washed myself and when I came down we made love the normal way.
Then on the 20 mar 2010 the police say I anal raped her as she said she said stop, this was not the case, I am on police bail and not allowed to talk or see my wife, How can they do this, why is she doing this, I have to go back on the 12 April about bail, I know they will just re-bail what can I do, I get so down, even looked at ending my life
All I ever want from the first time I saw her was to love her and that was 9 years ago. I know she is on depressant pill and has been for years last years we did get her off them but now I have been told she is back on them with vodka, I don’t want you to feel I am pulling her down because that not what I mean. When that man’s wife beat her up I helped her I put CCTV up but she is also saying I did this to keep an eye on her, she has said I hit her which is bull

[LS]

Hi MD, sorry you're in this situation but glad you did because there are many here who'll try to support you. Many people make false accusations for a number of reasons, and I couldn't really fathom out from your text why your wife would do this. Clearly she has, but the good thing is its just her word against yours, so you'll just have to see what the outcome of the bail is, although you could be rebailed for a number of months while the matter is being investigated.
You do need to find a solicitor who specialises is False Accusations, preferably not a duty solicitor as they are jack of all trades, who can give you more advice on the legal side. In the meantime write down everything that's happened, as you have here, while it's still fresh in your mind and you can refer to it at a later time, and try to keep strong. Many cases are dropped many months after the initial bail, so there is hope. Just because you're on bail doesn't necessarily mean it's the end, but feel free to come here and rant and we'll try to help as best we can.

[0990]

having just gone through the whole process LS is right bail just means the police are loking into it , stay strong and keep visiting the forum , people will give you all the advice you need .i was a mazed how common this is

[milliesdad]

Thank you it helps,
I do love her and I don’t understand why she did this when she did as we were getting on so well. When she left the first time she told her family I was hitting her which again was untrue. But when she came back they would not have anything to do with her. Then it came out she was have an affair and she was back with me they still did not. Now she is all back in with them, she is being driven by her sister who say she has away hated me. But to accuse someone of rape and put them throw this I don’t know what to say, also she is after half the house now. She told the police I rang her and they rang me to which I said no way did I check my phone records, and put the phone down.

[milliesdad]

0990
How long did yours go on if it is over

[0990]

i was charged with assult end of december , after i refused to see or meet up with my ex she changed the statement to rape , i was charged with this late jan .
the cps didnt nfa it until this week

throughout the whole time on bail i feared the case would go to court as it was my word against hers and i got no imformation from the police

this forum will help with advice and offer imformation , i found it a great help hope it goes well

[milliesdad]

I had a letter from her sols saying she would becoming for her bits on the 3rd of april, with the police I wrote a nice letter saying be there, the next thing I know was the police rang me say i had rang her. All this is slowly sending me mad, It would seem it is that they can do as they like. I think they know what it does to you.

[milliesdad]

I feel so down what can I do, I am lost with out her but would any man have her back after what she is doing

[milliesdad]

good solicitor in norfolk

Does anyone know a good solicitor who is good with falsely accused of raping in Norfolk

[RFLH]

If you can hang on a couple of days Rights Fighter may be able to tell you that.

Easier said than done I know, but try and go out and do something every day until Tuesday - there's nothing to be gained by sitting and worrying yourself ill until then.

[Casehardened]

I feel so down what can I do, I am lost with out her but would any man have her back after what she is doing

Trust is one of the most important factors in a relationship and you are doubly unfortunate as so often wifes/partners can be the rock to get one through the ordeal of a FA.

With regard to a Norfolk solicitor Rights Fighter will hopefully be along later to advise you.

[milliesdad]

Thank you for this, I have tried to go out the house but to no joy, I feel so let down by all this, you would not beleave I was fireman for 20 years the way I am now

[RFLH]

You're not going to feel great -its to be expected so don't think that what you're feeling isn't normal.

You'll get through it - you may not think you will at this moment.

[milliesdad]

I know its more about understanding why as we were getting on better than we did when we first met and I always loved her, as it is it looks like I will have to let the dogs go with me working away from home. They are like kids to us which makes it even harder to understand