ROUGH time

[worriedfather]

Is there anyone else that could stay with him whilst you where away, aunt, Uncle, sister, brother, grandparents or perhaps you could go out and leave him for short periods and build it up a couple of hours at a time. It must be very frightening for him and it must be very hard going for you, could he stay with a friend perhaps. I hope this helps, best wishes

[Rights Fighter]

Good idea WF.

You as parents need time out too. If you go away again possibly you can arrange for him to stay with family members or friends? Or maybe he could go away with friends and/or family for a week or so to get him away from it all?

[witsend]

Dear rights fighter. Our son has no REAL friends and his brother is in the army and my Mum is in her 70's and not of the best of health so there really isn't anyone he can stay with, so it's us or nobody I had a long talk with him on the phone last night and managed to calm him down and have taken him shopping this morning and he seems calmer. Personally I would dearly love to have words with the girl who did this to him or under the circumstance with her also having special needs, her parents! He has gone from an outgoing relatively confident person to a withdrawn and frightened young man and it absolutely breaks my heart to see him this way. I have found some inner strength to deal with this but I am now emotionally exhausted by it all. Just would like to thank everyone for their continuing support.

[RFLH]

I wish I could offer more support than just words - sometimes they don't seem to be enough.

[witsend]

Dear rflh. Just been one of those weeks, now my mother is ill Our son is a bit better now but says it will be a while again until he is able to cope emotionally on his own on a weekend, I have to believe that time will heal the damage that has been done. By the way, kind words are much appreciated so Thankyou

[LS]

Hi Witsend, sorry to hear your son's still in the wars. You haven't explained what form his paranoia takes, so I'm guessing it's worse than mine.

Since my own ordeal I have no real friends either, and I'm up the wall if the doorbell goes, or I hear cars/people outside, and I'm content to not see anyone from one week to the next. I'm guessing that's not what he's displaying.

Have you or he seen a doctor about it, or considered counselling or the mental health departments? If he is special needs, is there therapy offered in that direction?
I wish you well, but it is an uphill struggle as I've discovered.

[witsend]

Dear LS
Sounds to me that his paranoia is similar to yours. Noise startles him, if he see's a police car he thinks they are coming for him, an ambulance means something bad has happened to me or his Dad. The worse part for him is the absolute panic he feels when he would like to go to his local shopping precinct as his accuser lives local I could kill the b---h who did this to him. He has had counseling, he tries using the relaxation techniques she taught him but finds it difficult and finds his Paul Makenna cd more useful. Trying to find any support in our council area for adults with special needs specific to our son is nigh on impossible, not through trying. Later on today I will let him read your thread above, this may reassure him that he is not alone in feeling this way. Many thanks

[Saffron]

Witsend, sorry your boy is struggling. I can't offer any practical advice, other than to say he is lucky to have such supportive parents

[witsend]

thankyou

Thanks Saffron. I took him up to his local shopping precinct yesterday, the only thing I can do is constantly reassure him that nothing untoward is going to happen! just have to take baby steps and fingers crossed we will get there in the end.