ROUGH time

[macdougal]

Excellent witsend so happy for you and your family.
Get out there now and hold your heads up high and take your son to celebrate. god knows he deserves it. Really made up for you

[witsend]

thankyou

We have been doing the rounds of letting family know the GREAT news. your words of wisdom have great, anothe BIIIIIG thankyou to all of you

[Rights Fighter]

Brilliant news!

[RFLH]

that is good news - hope you can now start to move on.

[LS]

That's fantastic news Witsend. Hopefully you can both put it behind you, and get on with your lives. With luck your son won't let this hinder his life, but will learn from it.

[witsend]

will do

Yep we have now got to try to put this behind us.... Hubby would like to make this person pay for what she has done, not really sure what that would achieve but understand how he is feeling. Slowly we will help our son get his life back on track and will try to offer a little support on here to others who are going through the same thing.

[witsend]

info requested

Does anyone out there know what happens from a legal point of view now the case against our son has been dropped. Do the police keep a record of his DNA, photo, fingerprints ? and are there any other ramifications we should be aware of? He was never charged just arrested and questioned. Is there anything within the legal process to stop this female doing this again, apart from the knowledge that the police may not take her seriously on a third occasion.
Yet again, THANKYOU so much for your support.

[Saffron]

SO HAPPY to hear your amazing news Witsend. I am so pleased for you.
If the accuser admitted the sex was consensul (ie: admitted that she lied) then you have every right to ask the police to press charges. Your son was the victim, and she committed a crime!
They may be reluctant to charge her though. Try writing to your MP if they refuse.

Fantastic news. All we need now is for Viva to get an NFA and we have a hat trick! Then we start again with Broken's partner, and the rest of us.

[witsend]

advice

is it normal to feel so bad still even though the case has been dropped. We should all be overjoyed, but feel somewhat flat. We now have to pick up the pieces and try to help our son, would be nice to get the rest we need, but now new concerns seem to have started running through our minds. And of course there still is that question, the one we will never get the answer to, why did this happen? My thoughts are with all of you out there still going through the torment of false accusation.

[RFLH]

hi witsend - it is entirely normal and it may take quite a while before things ever return to normal (whatever that is!).

You're going to feel a myriad of emotions over the coming month and I don't think you'll ever find an answer to all the questions you have.

So go with the flow and pick up the pieces at whatever speed you can. You'll not forget or forgive, but try to let it go as much as you can otherwise it'll chew you up and ruin the rest of your life.

Being angry only hurts you in the end.

[Saffron]

RFLH is absolutely right. After such an emotional upheaval you are almost certain to have trouble letting it go. Often people think that the NFA is the end of it all, but it's not an instant cure and it can take a long time to recover. You will probably feel damaged for a while yet.

Thinking of you

[macdougal]

I echo that witsend. Its going to be a long long time before I get back to "normal" if I ever do.
Its been 3 weeks since my NFA and I still find myself crying, cuddling my little girl, or if there's something on tv that is a bit sad. Ive never cried at the tv until this happened. But its no longer controlling my life.
I assume that, like me, if you get on with the normal day to day things you'll be fine. SOmething you should encourage with your son too. Yes you'll sit down at the end of the day, smile about the days activities wonder what tomorrow will bring and then POW. You'll hhave the over-whelming thoughts of why the heck did this happen. Have a cry about it,talk about it. But dont obsess with it please. Im still at a point where I feel it will never end so I honestly cant tell how long it takes to recover from it. But I know it would do me no good at all to obssess with it.

The hardest part is over and you were super strong through that so keep that chin up.

[Saffron]

Thanks MacDougal, very good advice

[witsend]

thankyou

Yep we will take one day at a time. Just to make our lives a little "easier" our youngest son, 27, rang up last night in an hysterical state, informing us that his marriage of only 18 months is over, so found myself with a round trip of 100 miles to try to console him. Suppose it is better to have a the S--T piled on in one hit! things surely can only improve?
I am trying to get some counseling in place for my son, but as with everything these days it all takes time.
My thoughts are with you all

[RFLH]

oh dear witsend - kids, can't live with them - can't shoot them! You have my sympathy.