advice PLEASE

[witsend]

how on earth does anybody cope with waiting for the results of police investigations alright solicitor saying son has nothing to worry about, but can't get on with our lives until this is over

[LS]

Hi Witsend
Sorry to hear you're in this predicament. I wish I could give an easy answer, but the truth is that in this situation you have no control and so you're a passenger, to an extent.
For many the answer is to spend this (valuable) time collecting evidence which may help your son's case if it doesn't go the way you'd like. For others they try to get on with life as best they can. It's extremely difficult and all-pervasive, as it's on your mind all of the time.
The best advice I can give to anyone in this situation, and their families, is to use the time constructively. If there has been any prior contact with the 'victim' either by email, msn messenger, etc, then you need to make a copy of it and store it away from your computer. The reason for this is that the pc these days is the first thing the police will seize, looking for evidence to further their case.
Try also to contact any witnesses to that day's events which would point to doubt.
Above all else, you all need to be strong, be sharp and try to keep occupied. I think many would agree that you need to set aside "me time" for you all so that it does not become an obsession.
As said, in truth you have no control over any of the legal aspects and there is little you can do to curtail the wait, so the best you can do is try not to cause yourself any more stress than necessary.
I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but I wouldn't want to lead you on either. These things can drag out for two or three months, so it is best that you are advised such.
Kind regards
LS

[witsend]

worried sick

We are trying to get on with our lives but i already had serious depression before this and am now on valium as well,not good i know, but it is the only way i can get through some days. My son is in an awful state some days and it tears me apart. There was no communication over internet, but phone records were being checked. only other thing, is the girl in question has allegedly done this once before. As I mentioned, solicitor says he is confident we have nothing to worry about, but do we hang on to this small piece of hope? anybody got any idea what is happening 6th April as far as police making decisions themselves on cases?

[just gets worse and worse]

hey
to cope with the waiting is hard i am in the same position waiting for the cps to make a desicion wich seems to take for ever. but i found that by keeping busy and consentrating on work wich is a bit sparse for me at the mo and my kids nd the odd game of golf keeps the dys ticking over. so iin other words keep busy
as for the 6th of april nobody knows what will happen mabey re-bail no further action or the worse mabey charged it will depend on the cps
think you need to cling on to the hope of what your sol said
as with no hope there is no hope so to speek
but also need to be prepaired as anything can happen....
i my self am waiting for second bail day to come after been rebailed waiting is hard its the tinking about it that makes it hard

[RFLH]

its just a matter of getting through the days as best you can I'm afraid.

If you can manage to get out each day, even if its for 10 minutes, try to do so - it does help. Fit in some pamper time, just little things for you - it does make a difference.

Easier said than done to say try not to let it take you over 24/7, but if you can manage for 30 mins at a time, the rest will follow.

Sorry if this sounds trite - but its the only way to cope and not go off bang.