What now??

[shocked]

my partner of a long time who i have a family with was suddenly accused of a random rape on a women. the evidence on which he was convicted with was later used to clear his name. our family have been to hell and back. luckily for him i had no doubts whatsoever that he could be guilty of such a thing even thogh the so called evidence was supposed 2 be failproof. he self harmed due to the pressure. how do we get our lives back after such a trauma???????????

[RFLH]

Hello shocked, I'm not sure that you ever will get the life you had before. It's a thing that shakes you and your lives to the very core. It changes you to such an extent that your whole mindset is twisted.

Your trust in people will take a very long time to recover, if ever. I don't think people realise just how much something like this affects not just your life, but those of your friends and family too.

Everything you believed in - justice and truth - is removed and what it leaves in its place isn't easy to come to terms with.

But you've already done the hard part - you've stuck together and got through this nightmare. The trite sayings of move on, put it behind you and give it time - really will come in to play.

Just be there for one another and talk about it now and again, don't bottle it up - but don't let it rule your lives any more now.

[LS]

One thing I found helpful, which may also help you and your partner, is counselling. Your own gp should be able to refer you to a counsellor with your Primary Care Trust. Also, some churches run counselling services.

Time helps, but it doesn't heal, I found. It's the whole range of emotions one goes through as well which is quite exhausting, which is why counselling may help.