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  • worry and waiting

    bit of an update with becoming unemployed has brought on more worry about whats going to happen trying tov be prepared for the worst and stay possative to been keeping busy by helping freinds do there houses up keeping me busy
    contacted my solictor on monday to see what he knew but nothing said he would chase the plice and see what he ould find out . called again yesterday and he said police not been back in touch .
    is this good sign? bad sign? surley the police should of finnished investagation by now?
    feel worried most days and confident others not heard anything from police since spent 2 hours at th e station on the 21st of december suppose just a waiting game till the 13th
    would like solictor to find somthing out and give me a bit of hope that the end is near

  • #2
    sadly these things take as long as they take - it's not a good or a bad sign.

    It's hard I know, but try and keep busy as you have been.

    Come on here and write down your worries and we'll try to provide you with help where we can and losts of support.
    And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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    • #3
      well its wednesday and still no news. solicitor said he would ring when he found anything out it is getting close saturday 13th of feb at noon is bail call time.
      still worry bout whats going to happen
      still wondering why went near her infirst place
      one good thing about loseing job is that been spending loads of time with daughter who is 10 months she growing up so quick dont know what i will do if i have to miss some of that.
      dont know how much i can say bout what happened on here
      how do the cps work out who to charge and who not in word against word casees?
      how much depends on alchol consumpsion of both paties ?
      what about love bites that i had on me?

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      • #4
        You can give a general overview of what happened, but don't post any identifying features. This is a public forum - you have to be a member to post, but anyone can read the posts.

        Were swabs and suchlike taken from you when you were interviewed? If so you would have had to strip, and any marks should have been photographed. If you had lovebites they should have been noted, unless they were old ones. How long after the sex had taken place did ou present yourself at the police station?

        The amount of alcohol consumed is a factor, but it could go either way. Could be seen as being grounds for reasonable doubt over the truth of her statement, or it could be seen as you taking advantage of her.

        I can't comment on the machinations of the CPS - there seems to be no rhyme nor reason to the way they work. 2 hours is not a long time to spend at the police station for an investigation into a rape. I assume they have not called you back in since then?

        I know the waiting is tough, but it sounds like you are trying to keep yourself occupied, so well done. Watch your kids playing. It's magic. I would just sit and watch my son for hours when I was waiting! took my mind off things a treat.

        Keep strong.

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        • #5
          hey saffron only dna swab was take and wasnt stripped and they didnt take anything off me clothes phone or anything it friday night early sat when it was ment to of happend and police were talking to people on satureay but as i was at my girlfreinds housde a didnt find out till sunday mornig when a freind rang to tell me bout the complaint had been mad e then the police contacted me on sunday night and i rang and went to the police station monday morning and told my events some things were bit distant in my memorie cos i had quite a bit to drink on the night in question but told them what i new got there at 12 the detective was late but was freindly and sypathetecic to what had happened told me what she was going to do arrest me and interveiw me so i wnt outside for cigeret and went back in and did the interveiw and finger prints etc and was on my way home by half 2 --3 and never head anything from them since but thye did not take pics of the love bite on my neck an d have never heard anything bout what the girl has said my sol has tried to ring the police to find out bt they have never called him back !!!!!

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          • #6
            found out yesterday after noon that will be re bailed till 13th of march solcitor found out and called then the police lady called straigt after wouldn't tell me much appart that they need the time so she can speak to cps
            said couldn't saywhat will happen but i should go get a job and try to forgetet about it and was asking how things were at home with my girl nd daughter and said that by march the 13th we will all be able to move on.
            so didn't have to go to police station today

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            • #7
              Well, being rebailed is not the end of the world. Not the best scenario, but not the worst either.
              I know the waiting is tough, but that is all you can do at this stage - wait. Keep yourself busy and try not to dwell on things. And do keep coming back and posting, it really helps.

              Keep on keeping on.

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              • #8
                hey all been thinking alot recently mabey to much on the account that work seems to have dried up slightly but few jobs to start next week any way was wondering if i get charged how long before it gose to court?
                will i be rebailed or be held in custody or prison?
                is there a chance the charge can be turned over before it gose to court ?
                these things are ratteling round my head a long with why? and why me? and wish the 13th would come quick and i might have some anwers
                is it possible there will be an answer before my rebail date on the 13th of march?
                any guidence will be appreciated thnks

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by just gets worse and worse View Post
                  hey all been thinking alot recently mabey to much on the account that work seems to have dried up slightly but few jobs to start next week any way was wondering if i get charged how long before it gose to court?
                  will i be rebailed or be held in custody or prison?
                  is there a chance the charge can be turned over before it gose to court ?
                  these things are ratteling round my head a long with why? and why me? and wish the 13th would come quick and i might have some anwers
                  is it possible there will be an answer before my rebail date on the 13th of march?
                  any guidence will be appreciated thnks

                  If you get charged it can take anything from a a couple of months to 18 months or so, give or take. Nobody can answer your question as we are not involved with your solicitor.

                  If you are charged a barrister might be able to have it stopped as an abuse of process at a pre trial hearing depending on what arguments he or she may have. If that is refused then similar applications can be made during the course of the trial. You must realise that there has to be an identified abuse of process for such an application to be made. It's not automatic.

                  All you can do is to wait it out. The solicitor cannot do a fat lot as paperwork does not come trickling through until after charge. You have not been charged as yet so there will be little or no paperwork.
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    bail day is getting closer 4 days round about now feel sick thinking about it
                    been keeping busy seem to have got a little business running doing carpentry and joinery and a it of dcorating so keeping my mind of the situation for the mo
                    rang my solicitor just now he rang the officer this morning and is waiting to hear back from her but she left it till last day to ring him back last time so not holding my breath he said he call when hears somthing
                    do they all hold back to the last minute before they give any info away?
                    will she know nything to tell us?
                    case has been with cps since before last bail date so will they have had enough time to look at it?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by just gets worse and worse View Post
                      do they all hold back to the last minute before they give any info away?
                      Hi,

                      It's easy to take this delay personally but I honestly think that the police rape units and the CPS specialists are so snowed under work (remembering this forum is only the tip of the iceberg) that they forget about all but the definite for trial and/or the high profile cases between bail dates.

                      i.e. OIC checks diary to see what appointments are booked for next day:
                      "Oh b****r, it's X's bail date; makes quick phone call to CPS; "No, not even opened file, we're still sorting out Y, stick him back in the box for another 6 weeks"

                      So Mr X or his solicitor gets the phone call putting the date back again....
                      'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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                      • #12
                        rang sol yesterdy evening and said not herd back from oic said they can't know anything said he would call them again said should know somthing today so just waiting my girls birthday today so would be nice to get some good news even though i think we exspect the worst as hard to stay possative at the mo

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                        • #13
                          Keeping fingers and toes crossed that you get good news today.

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                          • #14
                            sol phoned bout hour ago and said he found out that the officer is not at work till 10 o clock tonight so wont find any thing out till then
                            he said he on call tonight so will ring her at 10 then all me somtime aftr that
                            so bit more waiting to do till then

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                            • #15
                              they do like to drag it out don't they
                              And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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