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  • falsely accused by sister

    I am a 44yr old divorced male with 2 wonderful children who are my world. There is a lot of history which i feel is important to document so please bare with me.

    When i divorced 7 years ago my sister told me she would never forgive me. She has never made my new girlfriend feel welcome and we never get invited to any family functions. There is nothing wrong with us. I'm a professional as indeed is my partner. We have 4 wonderful children between us.

    My father passed away sept 09 and my brothers, mother, sister and I were heart broken. My sister is a drama queen and you would of thought by the way she acted that she was the only one suffering this terrible loss.

    I was always the odd one out in our family mainly due to age differences. 4 years between my older brother and 3 years between my younger sister.

    The 3 of them rallied round and and helped my mum organise my fathers funeral - there was no input from me what so ever even though i only live 5 minutes away from my mum. Even the day that the vicar turned up to arrange the service (he was half an hour early) not one of my brothers or my sister bothered to contact me and by the time i arrived the vicar had left and all the arrangements had been made. Even on the day they arranged to see my father in the chapel of rest i was not included. So i had to see him on my own tosay my goodbyes. So i was feeling pretty left out of it.

    Things quietened down for a while and it was agreed that mum would have to downsize her house come spring 2010. Then just before christmas my younger brother started pushing my mum to sell as soon as possible. He had a "friend" who would do mum a deal. Neither my elder brother or i was very happy about this and got 2 more valuations done on my mothers home and we found that the price that had been suggested by my younger brothers friend was around £30,000 under market value.

    Both myself and my elder brother feared my younger brother was up to something. We raised our concerns to our mum. My partner and i went away for the weekend 2 weeks ago. My mobile phone was flat so i had no contact with anyone including my family. When I returned home on the monday I had a very abusive voicemail from my younger brother calling me all the names under the sun. I went to visit my mum to try to find out what had happened over the weekend. My sister was there with her.

    When i tried to talk to mum about the events of the weekend my sister started being verbally abusive towards me and things basically erupted into am arguement. Yet again my sister was trying to stop me having my say and i'm afraid i lost my cool. I got so angry that i lashed out. As my sister tried to move out the way i caught her completely accidently round her neck. I'm not proud of myself and i have NEVER hit or hurt a woman in my life. Unfortunatley as my sister moved backward my mum jumped inbetween us and also pushed my sister backwards - straight through the conservatory door. Luckly it popped out of the runner and didn't smash. I tried to apologise to my sister but it was then she made the accusation that i raped her when she was 11 and i was 14. This made me feel sick to the stomach and i left.

    The next thing i know i am bombarded with txt messages and phone calls from my 2 brothers calling me sick and twisted and that i am no longer welcome in the family. They also imformed me that the police had been called.

    I know that me loosing my cool wasn't the best thing in the world and i will tell the police exactly what happened. The thing that worries me the most is the totally false accusation of rape my sister has made against me even though she says it happened over 30 years ago. It makes me sick to think my sister has made this accusation and I am also extremely worried that the police appear to be taking seriously. They have yet to interview me about either the assault allegation or the false accusation my sister is making.

    Where do i stand?? can anyone help or advise me??

    Thank you for reading this.
    Last edited by RFLH; 29 January 2010, 05:34 AM.

  • #2
    Hi Whizzy, and welcome.

    The first advice I'd give anyone in this scenario is to gather evidence. You need to protect Number 1, and that's you, because often no one else will. Keep a recording device on you at all times, like a mobile that can record conversations. You never know when the other party will let slip that "she's doing this because..."

    The second is to try to find a solicitor who specialises before plod knocks and you're forced to take a 2nd rate duty one.

    That's all I can advise pending advice from those who've been in your exact spot, who'll no doubt be along shortly. Try not to worry, and make sure you keep eating whether you're hungry or not, as you need to be sharp in this situation.
    regards
    LS

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    • #3
      How is the situation between you and your mum since? Is she likely to discuss this with your sister, and if so, is there any likelihood of her telling you of any admissions that it's a fabrication? I'm thinking along the lines of if your sister admits it's a lie to your mum, you could call your mum as a defence witness if a court case ensues, and she'd have to disclose such a conversation. It would strengthen your case.

      On the subject of case, we can only advise as best we can. Do bear in mind that police visit the site to gain any advance info, so I can only suggest take any advice you wish but think carefully about disclosing what you actually plan to do, particularly with regard to what you post here, and specifically about the question about your mum's support. I wouldn't advise answering it (here), it's just a suggestion which may be of help.
      It's also important to have your partner and children on your side so don't hide this from them, and their support will be invaluable to you.
      LS
      Last edited by LS; 29 January 2010, 02:18 AM.

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      • #4
        Whizzy,

        Stay positive, you have a huge advantage in that you know what's coming; i.e. you will be arrested and interviewed (many only become aware of an accusation when the police knock on the door)

        As LifeSucks says you have a golden opportunity to choose your own solicitor & brief him with your account prior to your interview. Take some time to consider the possible questions and your response, treat it as an exam and do the revision. Remember that disclosing any motive for making the accusation now, after all these years, is useful, though you have already detailed this in your post

        Consider the possibility that your PC & mobile may be seized & sent for forensic evidence.
        Last edited by Casehardened; 29 January 2010, 08:20 AM.
        'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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