need help and advice please

[needhelp]

hi i,ve been reading though the forum's and the advice i,ve seen given to other is great but i could not find any thing thats close to the problem i have.
i need to point out my spelling is not the greatset in the world and i'll say sorry for that now in case some people dont under stand some thing i type.

ok i was accussed of rape on the 6th of jan this year (2010) been bailed untill the 17th of jan, i was accussed of haven raped a young girl of 14 years of age on 31th of dec (2009) and was arested on the 6th.

i spent 36 hours in a cell and had 3 interviews with the police with my leagel guy with me, though out the interviews i was asked questions that made sence I.E were was i on this date and time and such and what was i wearing witch i could anwser no problem and other question that shocked me so much that i found it hard to even speak never mind anwers but after alittle time i was able to.
i under stand the police have to do there jobs but some of the things they said almost made me want to just die :-(

i have a wife and 4 childeren and love them with all my heart and becasue of this girl that is only 14 accussing me i,am not aloud to be near my family or home becasue this girl live's next door to my house..when i got bailed i was told i had to leave the area i live so that i would not see any of the witness's and maken them change there minds ( sorry i could not spell the right wording i needed) as such i have had to go to family in another city 80 miles away from my home and it's dragging me down day by day becasue i,am not able to see my kids and wife.
one of the reasons they were happy to bail me to such a far off place was becasue the memeber of family i,am staying at is a police offericer.
i asked his advice on afew things i was unsure about and he has been great in given me as much as he could but i still have thing's i cant get my head around and to tell the truth i,am finding it harder and harder when talking to people about it as it's hurting to much.
the main things are the thing's that were said by the police when i being interviewed...i under stand the police needing to say thing's to get some one to talk but using a persons family i thought was not right.
one of the things the officer said was "we have had a word with your wife and she says she does not want any thing more to do with you and she wants you to stay away from her and your kids" witch at that point in the interview i broke down and was un-able to speak, later once i was bailed my wife and mother came to pick me up and my wife ran to me and hunged me as if we had never seen each other for years...witch made me break down again, i asked my wife about what the police officer had said and she said she had never even spoke to any offericer's let alone said what the officer said she said.
i had to leave the area asap and go the 80 miles to my familys home and i,am so happy my wife came with me as we had time to talk about what had gone on and such and about how much my kids were missing there dad. she has told the kids i,am away working so might not be home for some time..we both agreed not to tell the kids about whats happened as my children are 10-8-6-1and half.

one of the things that my family member is haven a hard time under standing is about the time i was held in the cells...i was held for 36 hours and 14 min's and he says becasue they never went to a court to get more time to hold me that they have broken the law them selfs by holding me the 14 min's and that i should have eva been charged-bailed-nfa at the 36 hour point. when i rang my soliter about it he start shouting as if some one had lit a match under him and he was looking in to it. i still dont know what that means about the 36 hour thing , i i under stand is they made a mistake and might get a slap on the hand for not doing it right.

another thing is when i was ment to have done the thing i,am accussed of i was very drunk (as it was new years eve ) and i have blind spots that i cant remeber they are not a great big blind spot just silly little one's witch i pointed out to the police ..things like i cant remeber what drink i was drinking or how many times i went to the loo (witch they asked alot) they also asked if i remeber haven sex that night or the next day at all and witch i anwsered no to becasue i could not remeber, i remeber going to the loo at around 2am and being sick and haven a blind spot then becasue the next thing i knew i was in my bed next to my wife and her waken me up to say i was maken some funny nosie's like i was going to be sick again..she sent me to the loo again and i was sick once again ...i remeber returnign back to bed and wishing my wife a happy new year and sorry about being sick (as i felt silly about being a grown man and being sick like a teenager that cant handle his drink ) but the thing is i dont drink that much and only drink on spicle time's like birthdays -x-mas new year and so on so it dont take much for me to get drunk.

like i said i could not tell the police if i had sex or not becasue i could not rember but when i was talking to my wife on the way down to the palce i,am bailed at she said that we had sex in morning when she had came to bed, witch i feel bad about for my wife as i have never been in that state of drunkenness not to rember maken love to her.

sorry that many of the things i have said might make no sence to many people as i,am still trying to get my head around things my self. i,am going to have a chat with my member of family some more and get him to give me a had to fill in any thing that i might have missed or said wrong in this post.

thanks for your time in reading all this and sorry once again about my spelling.

[friday]

one of the major things they are going to pick up on is that if you can't remember having sex with your wife then how can you say for sure you didn't have sex with this girl and also not remember.

i don't know much about the legal process or anything like that but someone else will come along soon that does.

in the mean time try to look after yourself and keep strong.

[Olzhas]

Man its very difficult situation, but main point which could you safe its you're wife and If you was completely pissed off you couldn't rape girl without witnesses anyway if you did and don't remember, you had to make some evidence e.g. bruises on you and that girl, think a lot and be strong. I'm accused as well and I understand what you feel, best way is if you are not guilty then be confident and when trial shall be accuser would tremble and have discomfort. Best wishes

[needhelp]

thanks for the replys and sorry i have not got back sooner to reply.
i know that saying "i was drunk" is a bad reason for not rembering but the sad truth is i dont drink and only do it on those time's,,,it probable does not help that i was mixing drink's though out that night "whiske--vodka--absynth "
and i cant rember if i said in my other post i had told the police i was more than happy to give any sample's they needed from me the second i walked in the police station and also to take any of the cloth's i had on that night should have still been in the dirty wash hamper in my home..i also told the police about every one taken pic's of the night so if they wished they could look at them and make sure i was telling the truth to what cloth's i had on.

but the police did not even take any of my gear.

another thing i,am still not sure about is my wife has rang me alot and told me about the girl i was ment to have raped keeps coming over to our home and keep trying to be best m8's with my wife and is acting as if there is nothing wrong or happened.

my wife and the polcie have told her to stay away yet she come's over again and again as my home is only over the road from her's.
my wife also says when she has told her the reasons to stay away " your not ment to be here becasue of whats happened " she keeps saying to my wife " i wish i never opened my mouth" to witch my wife has said what you have done is done but go away as we have to try and pull our live's back from this " and to witch she has said " it's ok once this is all over we can get back to the way we where " and my wife replyed " BACK TO THE WAY THEY WHERE? " from there my wife had to ring the police to come and remove her from the front of the house.

[Rights Fighter]

one of the things the officer said was "we have had a word with your wife and she says she does not want any thing more to do with you and she wants you to stay away from her and your kids" witch at that point in the interview i broke down and was un-able to speak, later once i was bailed my wife and mother came to pick me up and my wife ran to me and hunged me as if we had never seen each other for years...witch made me break down again, i asked my wife about what the police officer had said and she said she had never even spoke to any offericer's let alone said what the officer said she said.

Did the officer say this while interviewing you? If so you must request a copy of the tape (don't say why) - you are entitled to a copy. If they refuse contact a solicitor (possibly the one who was with you at interview) and instruct him to obtain a copy of the tape and get it transcribed independently of the police.

This will prove that the officer is not conducting himself properly and anything else could be construed as being somewhat suspicious (as an abuse of process).

Make a note of every single time the accuser tries to make contact with you or your family and if other people are there to witness that get them to sign the record. Report it to plod every time so there is a running record of this alleged victim's attempts to make contact.

Do not put any other information on this forum as it is open to the public which includes the police.

If you need an further help please send me a private message. You can do this by clicking on my username and select "private message".

[needhelp]

Did the officer say this while interviewing you? If so you must request a copy of the tape (don't say why) - you are entitled to a copy. If they refuse contact a solicitor (possibly the one who was with you at interview) and instruct him to obtain a copy of the tape and get it transcribed independently of the police.

This will prove that the officer is not conducting himself properly and anything else could be construed as being somewhat suspicious (as an abuse of process).

Make a note of every single time the accuser tries to make contact with you or your family and if other people are there to witness that get them to sign the record. Report it to plod every time so there is a running record of this alleged victim's attempts to make contact.

Do not put any other information on this forum as it is open to the public which includes the police.

If you need an further help please send me a private message. You can do this by clicking on my username and select "private message".

cheers for the info m8 . i have told my wife to do what you have said and she is doing it every time they come over, i'll also be asking for the copys of the tape asap, cheers once again for the help and sorry for the slow reply's, i,ve not been able to get internet for the last few days so not been able to read or reply.

[needhelp]

hello once again

well i,ve now got court dates and things seem to be going from bad to worse day by day :-(

Right's fighter i pointed out the things you pointed out to me to my brief and he was over the moon about them, he ordered my solicitor to get copys of the tapes and get them transcribed asap.
also my mother in law has been a god send with things she has been doing, she has spotted some thing on facebook that she thought might help my solicitor , at the said times i was ment to have raped the girl she happened to be posting on facebook saying about how great things are in life and also about who she was sitting in the room with, she also pointed out were i was (witch was in bed).

on a diff note i,am no longer aloud to see my member of family that is a police offericer becasue the police offericer dealing with my case said " if you dont stop talking to him the media might get a phone call about you talking to a rapest " :-( so it's even more clear now that the police offericer dealing with my case Hates me and is trying his best to send me down for this crime, he has yet to talk to any one in the area that have came forward to offer there help to what happened that night and were i was at said times , and only seems to have talked to people that can help his case, i always thought police offericer's were ment to be there to find out ALL the facts and bring every thing to light, but he is just gunning for me, my brief and solicitor have sorted interviews with these people and found alot of info that will help my case.

it's been 6 weeks since i have saw my kids and wife and it's driven me and them nutty, i,ve been able to talk to my wife and kids on the phone but becasue of this false rape clame the social services got dragged in and told me via a phone call tht i was not aloud to see my kids, it's been a living nightmare not being able to see them :-( every night when i speak to them on the phone they keep asking me over and over when are you coming home daddy and i have to keep liying to them and say i,am working away :-(

my wife ended up moven home becasue of the girl and her family bugging her day in day out and the police doing NOTHING about it, luckyley she found some were new that seems to be nice.
also now that my wife has moved she have a new social services to deal with and not the ones from my old home so with any luck thing should pick up and get sorted so i can go see my wife and kids.

sorry once again for the long reply and bad spelling.

[Rights Fighter]

Right's fighter i pointed out the things you pointed out to me to my brief and he was over the moon about them, he ordered my solicitor to get copys of the tapes and get them transcribed asap.

also my mother in law has been a god send with things she has been doing, she has spotted some thing on facebook that she thought might help my solicitor , at the said times i was ment to have raped the girl she happened to be posting on facebook saying about how great things are in life and also about who she was sitting in the room with, she also pointed out were i was (witch was in bed).

Your solicitor should have done what I suggested anyway. You might need to think about looking for a more specialised sol should you be charged. If you PM me your whereabouts I might know of a good solicitor near to you.

You should save anything relevant in Facebook by using "screenshot" and paste into a Word document.

I am a tad confused. You said that she put on her Facebook where you were. You say she lived next door to you. Where was the party - at your house and she came or at her house where you were invited?

How would she know you were in bed?

[needhelp]

Your solicitor should have done what I suggested anyway. You might need to think about looking for a more specialised sol should you be charged. If you PM me your whereabouts I might know of a good solicitor near to you.

You should save anything relevant in Facebook by using "screenshot" and paste into a Word document.

I am a tad confused. You said that she put on her Facebook where you were. You say she lived next door to you. Where was the party - at your house and she came or at her house where you were invited?

How would she know you were in bed?

the party was a street party and people were going house to house but at the time she posted on facebook she was in my house with 6 other people.
and she was there untill 8am the next day posting and sitting in the same room as the 6 people (witch by the way the police have not talked to them )
like i said before any one that can clear me the police dont want to know :-(

[Rights Fighter]

How very odd. She's posting on Facebook through the night and presumably after the alleged rape but makes no mention of said rape in her posts?

Plus of course she's not run away as soon as it was safe to do so which obviously she would have done had this been true.

Your barrister needs to bring all this up in cross-examination. Don't give a date here but how far off roughly is the trial due to be heard?

[needhelp]

sadley it's 4 more months before it goes to trial :-(
and when i was chatting to my solicitor said the sasme thing about my barrister pulling it apart in court on the same thing, she said if this was ment to have happened then she would have ran for the hills asap not sit around in the same house posting on face book about how great 2010 is and wish's it never ends.

the time till the tial date seems to be slowing down more and more as time goes on, sorry if that makes no sence.

[Rights Fighter]

the party was a street party and people were going house to house but at the time she posted on facebook she was in my house with 6 other people.
and she was there untill 8am the next day posting and sitting in the same room as the 6 people (witch by the way the police have not talked to them )
like i said before any one that can clear me the police dont want to know :-(

These six other people - I take it that you have spoken to them and shuffled them off to your solicitor to make statements?

[needhelp]

yeah did that as soon as i found out the police did not take any statments from them

[Rights Fighter]

Unfortunately some police officers do not actually investigate but merely gather evidence to ensure a conviction.

I've known some officers to interview witnesses who can help defence and then lie to them telling them that they are now witnesses for the Crown and that they cannot talk to the defence.

"There is no property is a Witness" - which means the defence sol can interview such witnesses should that ever occur to others.

[needhelp]

i,am really really in a bad mood today

my mother in law has been doing her daily facebook search that she does every day for me to gather more evidence, and when she logged in she had a invite to join a group that has been set up by the so called victom's sister in my..........she has stated on the group " MAN RAPED 14 year old girl " and in the info box she said my age-were i lived- and what she thought was my full name but the thick cow put my oldest sons name as it's almost the same as mine just the middle name is diff...i was to mad i logged on to check it out and found she also sent me a invite to the same grp witch i deleted, but horror came to me when i thought of some thing, if this silly cow has sent me a invite who else has she so i logged in to my son's and daughter account to check and she also sent them the invite too!!! my kids are only 10-9-7 and this sick wierdo sent the invite to them....i did not know what to do about it so i have shut down my kids facebook accounts and i rang the police thats dealing with my case.

to my shock the officer thats dealing with my case turned around and said he did not care that she has made a group and put my son's name and not mine and does not care she sent the invite's out to my kids and he blamed it on adolescence!! i pointed out to him that she is 28 years old so how this adolescence and at this point he said " to be honest i dont give 2 f**k's and put the phone down on me.....i thought ringing him was the right thing to do but clearly not :-( good to know it's 1 law for 1 set of people and another for others. i rang my solictor and she said she made a note of it to put it forward to the court's and asked me to report it to facebook...happy to say facebook got back to me very fast and have removed the group but have not banned her from facebook.

sorry for the long post just i,am shocked about the police doing nothing so needed to vent abit anger here.