need help and advice please

[LS]

Thanks Saffron. What I meant is that in today's climate being classed as a rapist is no worse than a burglar. I've just been reading The Scum's website where they're banging on about Primark selling padded bikinis for 7 year olds being wrong and how it attracts paedophiles (alothough most on there can't even spell the bloody word), and the insults levelled at those I'm tarred with makes me sooo proud to be british. Not.
I must be such a danger to society because I don't have any thoughts involving under-18s. I must be the only "paedo" who doesn't actually have any sexual thoughts, or indeed any thoughts involving minors. I feel short-changed! Just because up to 12 ignorant people decree that you're something you're not, it doesn't make you such. Yet according to the neanderthals who read The Scum I shouldn't be breathing, shouldn't have my nads any longer, or should be in prison for life... All things which, with all due respect, kind of makes other foibles rather trivial.
Wanna swap places?

NB. Please don't think I'm having a go. I'm not, I'm just trying to put things into perspective for you.

[RFLH]

LS you're one of many who feels the same way.

Feel free to shout - you're entitled to.

[Saffron]

LS, sorry if what I said made you think I need things to be put into perspective, not intended at all!

Bear in in that I am married to a "convicted sex offender". He was convicted by 12 stupid, lazy people who couldn't see past the "victim" hiding behind her screen. In fact two of the buggers were asleep during the judge's summing up, so seriously did they take their duties to decide on a fellow-man's fate. They were asked to make a decision on a Friday afternoon after a full 14 days of jury service. The trial lasted 2 and a half days. The judge's summing up took 45 minutes. Yet they were able to consider all of that evidence in the space of less than 45 minutes at lunch time on a Friday. And bear in mind that 45 minutes would have been even less after loo and lunch breaks. No. That's not right. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that. I would bet my mortgage that is went something like this:

"Right, who thinks he did it?"
"I do"
"I do"
"well, OK, me too"
"if it means we can get out of here and go down the pub, then me too"

Maybe a lone voice would have piped up "Well, aren't we supposed to discuss it?" but I doubt it. And even if it did, I reckon it would have been Shushed pretty quickly: "No, shut up, we all want to get out of here"....

and so on. As I have said elsewhere on this forum, I know people who have done jury service and they have been appalled at the comments made. Comments such as "Well, I'll go with the majority because I want to play golf this afternoon" and (another gem) "he must have done it because he's black".

I know that there is not a "paedo" on *every* street corner, much as certain red-tops would like us to believe. However, there *are* paedos out there, and they deserve our deepest contempt. This is why sex-crime trials (especially those involving kids) are such emotive ones, and unless the accusers are *proven* to be out and out liars, the chances are that such trials will result in conviction. As a defendant you have to prove your innocence. After all, why would someone lie about sexual abuse/rape?

I *do* think our so-called justice system absolutely sucks. Many many innocent men are accused, and some are even convicted of sex crimes they did not commit (my R and LS among those poor individuals) at the same time as many many guilty individuals do get acquitted. And that is what is wrong. The injustices from both sides.

I firmly believe that juries should have to provide a statement outlining their reasoning behind the verdict they have reached. If they have not considered the evidence properly, they should be fined or the trial should be declared a mistrial.

The whole system is a joke.

Rant over. Sorry.

[LS]

Saffron I'm really sorry you thought my post was a rant and/or was aimed at you. It was neither. I was trying to explain to Needhelp that often we're scared of the outcome when often the outcome is not as scary as we were scared of, and also that no matter how bad it is, there is someone worse off.

I too have the deepest of contempt for those who go out and seek to abuse. I met wave after wave of them when I was inside, who did one thing, were released, then went and did the same thing again and seemed to spend all their time lusting over newspaper cuttings. Yet it irks me when there is such a media witch hunt when there are very few witches out there, and if someone's accused you of being one when there's the lure of big money to be had as a result, it's the worst thing possible. Especially when they've judged you by ignoring the evidence which showed the other party lied, and the evidence which showed you told the truth.
It was just brought home to me today by the outrageous and inflammatory words in the Scum which do nothing other to than cause more rabid vigilanteism, and give me more reasons to hate this country.
And I was having a good day until I read that toilet paper.

[needhelp]

cheers for the rants people :-) they may be rants but bloody good one's pointing out dam good points about our bad system of "you did it!! prove you did not then!! " and not the " hmm did he do it? "

like i said before i just got alittle freaked when the first thing he did was to bang out about the 15 years with a min of 7 and a half years but that being down to the judge....also with the cowbag only being 14 at the time now 15 i'll also be put on the paedophile list for the rest of my life.

i was talking with the wife about if the worst out come happens and she has said no matter how long i,am gone for she will stick by me and be there for when i get out ....but to be honest i would fell bad if i made her do this i told her if i get sent down i want her to forget me and move on with her life (witch ended in abit of a fight) but she keeps saying over and over that no matter what i say to her she will stick by me....i just dont want her bringing my kids to a place like that to see there dad, i would be more happy if they forgot about me.

graned it would be hard for them at first but atleast after a number of years they would forget.

cheers again peeps

[RFLH]

needhelp please don't think like that. She said she'll wait because she loves you, if she didn't she would have gone at the beginning.

Kids are resilient, it will be hard on them, but let them decide if they want to see you if/when the time comes.

[LS]

Needhelp
Glad you're thinking from all sides about it. I commiserate entirely, as my accuser was also 14. They also tried to shock me with the figure of 9 years. Funny how there isn't any consistency? I think they were hoping I'd say oh okay then and beg for a plea bargain, but they forget that if you're innocent you won't even entertain the idea.
I would put the idea of your wife sticking around to the back of your mind. Although there are highly praiseworthy (and singular) wives like Saffron who stand by their vows and conscience, there are many, mine included, who say they'll support you and they're off the moment the verdict comes back and it's not to their liking. I won't prejudge your wife as I don't know her, but I thought I knew mine until the Dear John letter arrived 6 weeks in.
You would also likely find that the SS would not allow her to take your kids to see you. There is a department in all prisons called PPU, and they vet who can and can't come in to visit. In my case the SS barred me from all contact with my son (due to the "conviction") and the PPU enforced it, so even in the weeks I and my ex were talking he wasn't allowed anywhere near the prison, let alone in. Odd how you can be accused of activity with a female, yet the SS decrees you're suddenly a closet homosexual regarding male children. Odd.
I'd ask you to think again about wanting them to forget you, your children are your children. Mine crosses my mind daily - I don't miss my ex, but I do miss my son - and you'll spend every day wondering how they're doing.

[RFLH]

At this point I'd like to say I stuck by my husband before, during and after only to be traded in 4 years after he came out - so please don't diss the wives!!

[LS]

Sorry RFLH - I'm not dissing anyone, I did say there are praiseworthy ones......

[RFLH]

I'll let you off!

[LS]

Phew! That must've been one of your famed e-slaps.

[RFLH]

oh no - you've that experience to come!

You'll know when you've been e-slapped on the beak!

[LS]

oh-kay.........

[needhelp]

well i got my plea date this friday....i,am papping it :-( i know it's just going to be abot 30mins or so but i hate walking in to court as i feel i have eye's watching me.

any way i also have another meeting set up for tuesday with mr.happy(barrister) to go over all the stuff i have spent the last 3 weeks going over and over like a nutter or him( this time he may look at it)

i now know the barristers full name and was wondering if any one has heard of him and if he is any good. pm me to get his name as i dont really want to put it n in-case ...you know lol

[LS]

Rights Fighter would probably be your best move. With so many barristers around, she's probably the only one to know whose name crops up on winning appeals.
I can only tell you the good ones I know of are Antony Berry and Edward Fitzgerald.
Obviously if he's called Michael Mansfield or Anthony Scrivener, count yourself very very very lucky indeed......