Help or advice needed

[Lee1977]

In August of last year (2009) i split from my partner who was at the time 5 months pregnant, with what i thought was my child. We had been in a rocky relationship since day 1 but kept at it, in march 2008 my ex told me that she had been raped twice by her landlord but refused to tell the Police for fear of being evicted. In June 2008 she admited cheating on me with an ex boyfriend, which i forgave her for. After months of preasure from her i asked her to marry me and gave up my job and took volantary redundancy plus i gave up my job as a Special Constable in the [place] Police and moved in with her... Even from that point the relationship wasnt 100%, as her ex husband used to contact her to try and meet up for sex, and several of her ex boyfriends were sniffing around and contacting her, which she injoyed due to the attention. I finialy got a new job in Jan 2007 but wasnt able to keep it due to constant texts from her, telling me that this man and that man had contacted her and that she was going to meet them, and maybe have sex with them. She also decided to become a JW, this also put preasure on our relationship as we were not married, and i feel that they were putting preasure on her to ask me to leave. Between March & June 08 she ask me to leave 3 times which i did only to beg me to go back, she also hacked into my Facebook account and posted that i was a Woman Beater so no one would talk to me. I finaly lost my job on the 22nd April, she then told me on the 24th that she was pregnant. In August 09 i finaly left for good after the Police getting involve and she told me the baby wasnt mine, and that it was some sailors that she had met on line and he had been round while i was at work. she constantly texted me and left voice messages which after a while i ignored. I found a new job and then one morning in November the Police came knocking with a warrent for my arrest for RAPE. I went down to the Police station and had my pics and DNA taken, i s was put in a cell while i had to wait for officers from [place] to arrive. When they did arrive i was re-arrested on a further 3 counts of rape dating back as far as May 08 and 3 ABH as far back as March 08. I was interviewed for 3 hours answering all there questions and informing them of things that she had not told them which raised eyebrows. I was bailed and told not to go near [place] and not to contact her, which i havnt. I understand the case has gone to the Crown Prosecution Service and i am waiting to find out what is happening.. My ex has had 2 previous marriges, the second had domestic abuse involved. After husband number 2 she had all 5 of her children taken away by social services and was then taken into hospital under the mental health act for depresion and self harming. She also suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder. I also understand that she has accused other men of rape alswell. I feel this is her way of revenge for me walking and this time not turning back. I will admite i am afraid of what the outcome will be as i have never been put in this position before.

Can anyone give me any help or advice in anyway

[Saffron]

Hi and welcome

Just to let you know, I have edited your post to remove some identifying details. This is an open forum, and although you have to be a member to post, you do not have to register to read the posts.

This woman sounds deeply disturbed. Have you kept any of the text messages or emails she sent you? if not, it is definitely worth talking to your phone company or ISP to see if they can be retrieved.

Write down everything you can remember about the dates involved. Talk to friends who can provide character references. Get yourself a good solicitor, one who experienced in successfully defending false allegations of sexual crimes. A sol will not be able to do much until (if) you are charged, but it can be very difficult to transfer Public Funding from one sol to another unless you do it very early on in the legal process.

I know that what you are going through is very frightening, but you have to get your head straight, and start fighting. If any of your friends can offer statements that support you, them ask them to write it down and give it to your sol, NOT the police. They police have been known to "mislay" evidence which favours the accused.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

[friday]

obviously your ex has a history of mental illness and while this most certainly does not make her less likely to be a victim of rape (in fact people with mental health problems are more likely to be victims of rape and other serious crimes) if it went to court her medical records may well show a history of lying/changing her life story etc and a defence barrister would almost certainly use the fact she has a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder to explain the motive for the false accussation (the whole fear of abandonment "i hate you leave. see, i knew you would leave me" thing is a viable explanation and could well be utilised, even if this is not her reasoning.)

hopefully it won't get that far but as the public seems to have little knowledge of mental illness if it did at least their ignorance could actually be a blessing in disguise.

[Poncho]

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