falsely accused. need help

[viva]

Im not best pleased with OIC, apparently they knew days ago i was to be re-bailed but didnt inform me or my solicitor, it dosnt help matters the fact ive moved nearly 200 miles away so every time i answer bail i have to travel all that way. i dont drive so have to either catch train or depend on family which is costing me money i need at the moment. they owt to be a way of claiming this back, bet this whole nightmare has cost me thousands so far, but id still give it all up just to hurry them up and clear my name.
Just cant beleive the reason of re-bail is cps is off sick!!!!!!

[just gets worse and worse]

sorry bout rebail matey
**** reason
but keep on going will all be ok in the end

[viva]

hi all,
had a call from oic today he said it was just a quick update and that the cps had been intouch with him and asked to chase a few minor details up which he was going to be doing in the next few days so a decision should be made soon. at least now i know the cps is back from being off sick(if that was fo real)

[needhelp]

it's good to read that a OIC is being helpful and not just looking for a fast convitoin like most do, sounds like you may have alittle hope m8 because the OIC looks like he is doing his/her job the way it's ment to be done and following up on all leads.

fingers crossed for ya buddy :-)

[Saffron]

Keeping everything crossed Viva, let us know when you have some news!

[viva]

just on for a bit of a release... feeling down today just getting fed up of the waiting. keep havin thoughts that i cant take anymore of all this its kiling me and its starting to have effect on my relationship with my wife and kids.
I think ive hit rock bottom!!!

[NeedhelpPLZ]

I know how it feels to hit rock bottom. But there is definitely a upside to it. the only way is up.! try keep hope alive, even if it hurts you to do it. Its jus a matter of time before things get sorted and your a free living man again. Fair enough the damage has been done from the accusations but once your name is cleared things will start getting back on track.

Try not to leave the stress of this entire ordeal get to you or effect your family life. There all that matters. keep your bond strong with your wife, keep reassuring yourself that they love you no matter what.

And if your still having trouble you have us here for support also.!

[RFLH]

Hi Viva, what you're feeling is par for the course and as has beenn mentioned - the only way is up!

Use this place to vent, it'll work wonders for you. It should help you to know that most of the posters here have felt exactly the same as you - and they are still here posting.

[0990]

hi viva , it will all come good in the end , stay positive

[viva]

hi all. been on looking at others horrors and to see if i could relate to any of them and if at all possible offer some advice. my bail is next week and since i last posted things have been up and down. Not really heard much from oic or cps only that the cps have asked the oic to make enquiries at my previous emplyment on my days off and any holidays etc..
My jobs going well ive settled in a treat and look to be set on permanent and ive taken on further work on an afternoon (2JOBS)
Sunday footy is going well wr 2nd in league with a few games in hand and look certain for promotion.. fingers crossed
the downs are that me n the wife are drifting apart and its clear to see wr not coping very well, we dont live together and with me working i only see her for a few hrs a day and in those few hrs all we seem to do is argue, mainly about her blaming me for having to move away and the fact her mum and dad havnt had ANY contact with her since this all started. she bites my head off at every chance. i just cant seem to do right for wrong and i keep hitting darkness...

[RFLH]

oh viva I'm pleased - and sorry to read that. The stress that goes with one of these cases is unbelievable and its hard for everyone involved, it also affects in different ways.

I can't offer any advice on relationships ............. all I can say is that if you want to save it, fight as hard as you can, but find out what your wife wants - if you don't know you can't begin to put it right. This isn't advice, merely an observation from the wrong side of a marriage.

[viva]

thanks. I will fight to the very end of the earth for my wife she is the earth to me. i have tried to talk but its so hard as its her litle sister who is the accuser. I cant imagine what goes through my wifes head but all i can do is be there for her.
Im really really struggling at the moment and feel as though im 1 step from losing it and then only god knows....
I look at my kids everyday and see them suffering, i see my wife in bits and i feel myself slipping.
next week cant come fast enough, and i hope then that we can start to put this behind us.

[Casehardened]

It's so hard for partners/wives especially when the accusation has come from within the family; they are in an impossible situation in that they will almost certainly be alienated from one side or the other, maybe both depending on the outcome.

I don't know what to suggest except try to keep your cool and emphasize that you are still the same person as before the accusation was made

[witsend]

viva

Well, what can I say? My heart really goes out to you and your family. The stress of this situation must be proving intolerable, just keep thinking of your kids. We went through this awful situation a few weeks ago, are disabled son was falsely accused of rape, but, thankfully the case was dropped as she eventually admitted it was consensual! *****! 12 weeks of living hell. I like, so many others, found my way here, the relief of knowing we were not alone was unbelievable! You always feel as if you are the only person who is going through this ordeal. I coped, mainly with prescribed meds and my doctor was fantastic, this place was also a godsend. It seems to me that so many out there are going through this ordeal, one way or another, and some seem to be made to suffer, due to the way the system works, or not, so much longer than others. Please try to stay strong, yep I know that it can be nigh on impossible at times. Fingers crossed this will be over with soon. keep coming back here, we are thinking of you.

[LS]

Viva, sorry to hear this whole thing is getting to you. Just keep thinking of your wife and kids - they're the positive things in your life and what make life worth fighting on for.
Don't think silly thoughts; you're worth more than that.
Sometimes it's better to just not discuss the matter, as the pressure to want to talk can be overwhelming, but often it needs to be left unsaid for scars to heal a little. Your wife, as was said, is stuck in the middle so it must be awful for her.
Thinking of you all, and really do hope this silly thing is nfa'd and soon.