falsely accused. need help

[RFLH]

I'd have thought if the checks had come back clear then there'd be no case to answer - they can't have it both ways.

You could always try turning it round and prosecute them as the rumours are causing problems in your life as the rumours are unfounded and wrong.

[NeedhelpPLZ]

I plan to. but im still afraid once i do that they will enquire into it and investigate these rumours.

if "T" gets some1 to back her up then im ****ed like because from experience has shown me people believe everything she says over anything i say.!

[RFLH]

I'd go and get some legal advice in that case - get in first in case the rumours start again - that way you should be able to stop her and show her up to be the liar she is.

Get as much ammunition behind you as you can in the form of statements and then you can act as soon as necessary.

[NeedhelpPLZ]

Will do. Thanks for the advice.!
Ill keep this updated in the mean time.
keep not if there's any justice in the system here.!

[RFLH]

please keep coming back - others will add their advice too.

We all hope for justice ............

[Saffron]

OK, I just want to get a few things straight in my head:

My understanding is that until recently the rumours were just that - rumours, with no garda involvement. However, since NeedHelp has started his new course, the mate of the accuser has kick-started the rumours again, informed the course leaders, who have in turn informed the garda, hence there is now an official investigation. Previously there had been no formal investigation, which is why his CRB check would have come back clear.

Am I right so far?

Have you been arrested yet? has the accuser gone to the garda? If not, it might be worth getting a solicitor to write her a letter telling her that what she is doing is defamatory, slanderous and that you insist these rumour-mongers stop what they are doing immediately.

If the accuser has made a formal complaint to the Garda, and you have been arrested and questioned, then you need to find a really good sol, and sharpish. Look for one who specialises in defending false accusations of sex crimes. a standard criminal sol will not do.

Write down as much detail as you can. Gather statements from your friends who can support you and give them to your sol, NOT the Garda.

I'm sorry you had to find us. Keep coming back - it's all much better out than in!

Saffron

[NeedhelpPLZ]

your right up until the garda getting involved. there still not involved. The HSE are social workers. they had been involved and did a investigation into me, the accuser "T" and her family including my father. nothing came from that and once i had my interview with them i never heard from them again. If they deemed this something to have been worried about or me someone to be worried about then the garda would had been informed regardless.

Any rumour that had ever been made against me had never gone more the being passed around peers or on a school yard. up until now where its gotten brought to my workplace 7-8 years later.

My workplace is now looking into the whole case where the HSE were involved in and seeing what the outcome of that was before they decide what they have to do with me, because my work is based being a supervisor/leader to youths and working with children.

from the start the rumour was never more then me pulling out my private part in-front of "T" and asking for a hand-job, but yesterday after reading the letter that the friend of hers wrote into the general secretary about me, ive never been so sick n scared in my entire life because she has claimed that she knows people who i have raped and also sexually assaulted and she added she believed both of these to be true.

To fight this i intend on getting a solicitor. but going against the friend of "T" will be easy. its going against "T" herself is what's scaring me because its been almost 8 years, if she hasn't admitted now that its all a lie there's no way shell do it once solicitors are involved. And knowing her shell get people to back her lie's up as-well.

All the rumours have no proof because they never happened. But a girls word accusing is very powerful over the guys word defending himself. Its almost useless.

All these rumours have taken my life from me. taken everything. taken who i am. made me afraid to get close to anyone. made me afraid and lose the overwhelming confidence i had in my work. made me have a feeling where i were over thinking what others were thinking about me. got me run out of the town i grew up in. cost me my education. almost cost me my life. and im only 22.

[RFLH]

I think your best course of action is to go to a solicitor and get him to send her a letter threatening to take legal action against her if she continues her harassment and slander.

The last thing she'd expect you to do is that. You have done nothing, you've been checked and the only way she can continue to ruin your life is by the method she's chosen.

If you want your life back - fight her through the courts if necessary. Take back control.

[Saffron]

I agree with RFLH. If the Garda are not involved, then get a sol to write a letter to "T" s friend telling her to back off in no uncertain terms.
I know that rumours can be incredibly damaging - god knows I do - but a solicitor's letter might just put the fear of God into her, and rightly so. She is a silly little gossip who needs to be told that what she is doing is vindictive and wrong. A letter from a solicitor is expensive, but it doesn't cost the earth, so please do it. At this stage, it is the friend of "T" who has made the allegations, so don't worry about going up against "T".

It's terrible that at the age of 22 you feel your life is over. Trust me, it isn't. You sound as though you are doing something you really love, so don't give up on it! My husband (R) was in his mid-30s when he was accused, tried and wrongly convicted. He now has a job that he adores, we have added to our family, and are actually happier than we were before. (apologies if that sounds like boasting, it's not intended). So you can emerge from this stronger, more resilient, and a better person. Have courage.

Saffron

[NeedhelpPLZ]

I really appreciate all this advice. it means a lot to see that people have a sense of what's right and what's wrong in all this. it seems like everyone around me jus feels like i should be punished for something that never happened.

I will be getting a solicitor in time. once the letter from the HSE concerning the case gets sent to my workplace-and once their happy to see there was nothing a raised from all of it and it had been dropped, then ill take on the friend.!

Its taken me a lot of courage to talk about all this here, ive never spoken about this in great detail to anyone besides my ex-GF. I feel like i can see now more clearly what their doing is wrong, even though they clearly think their right.

[RFLH]

They are in the wrong - you haven't done anything wrong. I do hope that you will take it further once its sorted.

If you don't make a stand now I fear she will carry on until she manages to finish what she'd started.

[LS]

I agree with RFLH. If you don't be proactive now, how do you know the rumours don't reach the garda anyway? And the garda WILL investigate it. Making a complaint to the garda would be my first choice, but that carries the risk of them investigating it along with the bigger risk for her that you may end up getting her prosecuted for harassment.
The alternative, as others have said, is to have a sols letter done. Personally I don't think it'll trouble her much. If you haven't got the money to follow it up and take her to court, your only option would be to get the garda to prosecute her.
There's a lot to be said for getting in first with the garda before she does, but I'm sure many will disagree, especially if you're worried she'll have ten bribed mates ready to corroborate her version that the sun comes out at night.

[viva]

rumors are vile and can be very harming, it sometimes feels impossible to put the stright.
Ive witnessed this myself, as ive moved away from my home i lost contact with a lot of people (but stiil have a lot of friends and family back "home"), over the last few weeks since my 1st bail my father in law has told all my old football team that i raped his daughter(LIE) (god it feels bad just to write it ) and had been moved to a secure area for my own protection (LIE) hes also said i have been living on my own as my wife has left me, (LIE) my wife and i are still together and we are with the kids. then when i answered bail and was re bailed he told everyone i had been re arrested for further questioning but was released on bail waiting further questions (LIE). he has even tried to bring my brother (who is gay) into it by spreading lies about him and his sexuality,
It hurts me to think what other people have been told about me and what must they be thinking. I just want to tell EVEYONE THE TRUTH and cant wait to do so once this nightmare ends. re bail mon 22nd march, not long now

[Casehardened]

The worst thing of course is that 'mud sticks' and 'there's no smoke without fire' plus any other cliches you might think of, and many aquaintances will think this.

It is so easy for someone to put the knife if they have a perceived grudge and I blame t'internet for this; just as we have all found this forum for support in the aftermath, I expect that somewhere out there is advice on how to make a successful FA, i.e. sufficient vagueness in dates and actions citing fear & trauma. Plus as we have heard very recently it is so easy to use social networking sites to publish and promolugate the accusations.

Once Pandora's box is opened it can never be shut again; all one can hope for is to be able to successfully defend against the allegations that have been made, and that your good friends, whom you will suddenly find that you have, will enable you to continue on with your life, albeit forever shadowed.

If not there is no disgrace in moving away to a fresh area for a fresh start.

[Saffron]

Viva, make sure you make a comprehensive note of all the lies the accuser's dad has been telling. I am assuming that a friend informed you of these lies? *IF* you are charged, get your sol to take statements from the friend who told you about these falsehoods. The dad may be repeating what his daughter has told him - frequently one who has made a FA will tell further lies in order to make her original complaint seem more valid. These are all provable lies, and will be a good asset to your defence, if you are charged. Don't whatever you do, tell plod about them - they will just ignore them.

We had a similar situation with R's accuser. After he was sent to prison, she spread rumours that he had been sentenced to 5 years for rape (LIE: 12 months for indecent assault) that I had left him (LIE: what can I say? here we are with a second child, and will be celebrating our 13 anniversary this year) and that during the trial it had come out that he had previously been arrested for rape but there hadn't been enough evidence to make it stick (LIE!!! At JSU, the jury were even TOLD that R had never been in trouble with the police before!)

Her lies infuriated me almost as much as the allegation. It was like she was twisting the knife.

Phew, sorry for that little rant, I have got myself all worked up again.

This is why, NeedHelp, that it is important for you to nip this in the bud as soon as possible. I personally wouldn't recommend going to the Garda, as they will just start an investigation into the alleged "rape". But a solicitor's letter might do the trick.