Falsely accused

[furry001]

Hello

This is my first post but felt that it might be helpful to seek advice from here.

About a month ago, my wife took my daughter to the hospital as she had hurt her arm. Several hours later, the police turned up and arrested me for rape and child abuse. My wife had told them that I raped her and hurt our daughter. Trouble is, the time that she it took place I wasn't even at home so couldn't possibly have done it.

I am on bail until 16th December, but until then I cannot have contact with her or our children.

The first few days after being released, I didn't stop crying. Now, I miss my children so much and I cannot see them because of the lies that she has told. To explain, she has severe depression and had been going downhill steadily since our fourth child was born in June. I never thought that she would do this and I don't know what is going to happen. I have given samples to the police to prove that I have done nothing wrong.

Sorry to ramble, but this has had a massive impact upon my life. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Furry.

[Saffron]

Hi Furry

Have you been interviewed under caution, and if so did you have a solicitor present? if you know that you were not in the house at the time of the alleged assault, than it sounds as though the police have been unusually forthcoming with details....my husband wasn;t even told when or how he was supposed to have raped his accuser.

It is normal for you not to be allowed contact with your children, given that it is your daughter who is alleging to have been raped by you. I'm afriad there is nothing you can do about that until you are cleared.

What you should do is gather as much information as you can. If there are witnesses who can corroborate your whereabouts at the time of the alleged rape, then get them to write statements and give them to your sol. Do NOT under any circumstances give them to the police - they will simply go back to the victim (or your wife) who will then change their story to say they were "confused" about the time and date.

If the accuser is your child. then it is possible that your DNA could be all over her clothes and skin. Even drying her after a bath could leave your DNA on her. I don't want to alarm you, but you really ought to do a bit of research into a specialist sol - one with a track record of successfully defending false allegations of sex crimes. A normal criminal sol will not do.

Having said that, there is not much a sol can do until you are charged.

Of course this has had a massive impact on your life. The reason those falsely accused of this kind of crime find it so desperately horrendous is that they find the crime itself to be so abhorrent.

Keep strong and get your boxing gloves on. I am sure others will be along with more advice soon.

[furry001]

Let me just clarify some details.

First, it is my wife that has claimed I raped her. She also has accused me of dragging my daughter up the stairs by her arm, causing actual bodily harm.

The actual timing of the incident hasn't been confirmed, but when talking to my solicitor about where I was, she let slip that it was about the same time that my wife claimed I did these horrible things.

Yes, I have been interviewed under caution but this was more to establish where I was and my side of the story.

There are lots of witnesses as to my whereabouts so getting written statements from them is not going to be a problem. I hadn't thought of collecting these and giving them to my solicitor.

Thanks for the advice.

[furry001]

Sorry, thought of a couple more things that might need to be known.

First, my daughter is only two years old

Second, my wife and I have had no activity in the bedroom for about 9 weeks now (approx 4 weeks before she claimed I raped her).

Regards

[Saffron]

Hi Furry

Sorry for my mix-up. So, your wife is alleging that you raped her, and that you caused the injury to your daughter's arm. Thanks for clarifying.

If your wife is claiming that you have hurt your daughter it is still normal for you to be denied access pending investigation.
I am almost certain that there will be no DNA evidence of rape after such a time has elapsed. It is a question of who the CPS choose to believe.
Have you thought that when your wife took your daughter to hospital, the doctors may have questioned her about your daughter's injuries? Then maybe she made up the allegation to cover herself? The alleged rape would have made it sound more credible. Just a thought.
I'm afraid that there isn't a great deal you can do until you are charged. In the meantime, try to write down everything you remember about the time the "assault" and "rape" took place.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Furry

Sorry for my mix-up. So, your wife is alleging that you raped her, and that you caused the injury to your daughter's arm. Thanks for clarifying.

If your wife is claiming that you have hurt your daughter it is still normal for you to be denied access pending investigation.
I am almost certain that there will be no DNA evidence of rape after such a time has elapsed. It is a question of who the CPS choose to believe.
Have you thought that when your wife took your daughter to hospital, the doctors may have questioned her about your daughter's injuries? Then maybe she made up the allegation to cover herself? The alleged rape would have made it sound more credible. Just a thought.
I'm afraid that there isn't a great deal you can do until you are charged. In the meantime, try to write down everything you remember about the time the "assault" and "rape" took place.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.

A very good point Saffron. Worth following that one up if it gets to trial as the jury will always expect to hear about a strong motive.

[SATIVA]

i nearly there too..... hope this helps

Hi Furry.

I can completely understand your anxiety in every way.

Firstly, having read your story, i am confident, but of course cannot guarantee that it will go nowhere. I am willing to bet she will withdraw the allegation. its a no crime, or insufficient evidence. someone else suggested she hurt your daughter. i can believe that knowing the effect "depression" seems to have these days. Im not sure that diagnosis is correct in my wifes case too.

If I may, i shall elude as to why by sharing some of my story, which hasnt yet escalated to rape allegations, but shares some similarities with yours and i am absolutely terrified that it will become similar to yours.

I married my wife in April 09, she arrived in the UK in July 09.

I had supported her financially for years to a figure you and i would be proud to earn in a year and also as a partner.

I was deeply in love with her, until her arrival in the uk this year. I trust easily, i have a good family upbringing.

Within weeks of her arrival, she declared that the tenants of my house must leave, she made rules beyond belief, making it impossible to live there for them.

When i approached her about her appaling attitude, she responded with massive anger, to which i naturally retract from, but we had some rather heated arguments, since its my house, and buy to let, so i must have tenants according to contract. she wouldnt accept that. claiming they dont pay rent. they are freeloaders. they are racist. and so on.

My tenant is a dear freind of 15 years and is also rather unwell. Did she care? no.

On one night, i return from work to find that My tenants partner has discovered bleach in her toiletries, (feminine wash) and shampoo. luckily no harm was caused.

I confronted my dearly beloved, and was met with complete ambivalence and not even denial. just, well, un accepted guilt if you know what i mean. I dealt with it as calmly as possible but confronted with her non commital response, i asked her to leave the property, calmly..

She called the police before i had chance, she claimed she felt threatened. Which is naturally a domestic violence issue.

The police were unintereseted in the bleach, insufficient evidence. but confirmed she should leave my house at my request.

Heres where it gets similar. sorry for the pre amble. thats why i put my comments at the top!

She left, I met days later, but was suddenly dropped upon by a court bailiff. She went to court without me, and had EXPARTE court order. 1) home rights at my tenants house, 2) non mollestation order 3) Occupation order

As i wasnt there, she claimed the most outrageous pack of lies and untruths and half truthes i have ever heard. I accept we all see things differently, but, i never made her homeless, destitue or otherwise. So many times i offered her antoehr accomodation, with me, or without me to diffuse the stress seingshe was unwell, but intially unhappy.

She has offended and insulted me, my familay my friends and her own family.

I recognised a huge personality disorder in her early on, but again when confronted, she became angry. i had no where to turn.

I appealed, which was adjourned and im still waiting, however the judge put a non mollestation order on her too, afterwhich she returned to the house and broke some of my tenants property. I called the police and she was charged and arrested for criminal damage, and a further case of bleach. this time they took it seriously.

Days after thaat, she went missing from her bail address.

2 months later, she turns up in a mental unit at the local hospital. Even though she refuse them to tell me anything, it came to a point, where she told me she took an overdose, and is now informal patient. It transpires (so far) she has recurrent depression

Throughout the last month, i have been bombarded by lies after lies, insult after insult, offence after offence. my solicitor bill is going through the roof.

To this day, i am a mollester as i still await a appeal cos she is in the mental unit feeding me lies all the time. I loved her dearly, and my heart still does, but i can never trust again. I Fear so much that the next thing will be your story. we dont have children, although i have one that she is angling to see. She gets reall p'd off when i say no.

so, i have a clinilcally depressed wife, in a mental unit, seeking vengence for me putting her there and having her arrested as she puts it. i have acquired another flat so she we can live away from the triggers of her depression, but i wonder how long before she alleges another crock of ****, just like before, but most likely like your wife, RAPE.

She talks of the house being half hers, she wants this and that, she is rude, ungrateful, unloving, uncaring, contrived, malicious and so on.

I have never been so offended and un supported by the law. i truly truly understand where youre at. however, again, her mental state, lack of physical evidence (unless she bagged up some old fluids) and a risk of imprisonment for false allegation of rape, is (in my opinion) going to end up no where. just hold your ground and believe in yourself. it will be hard, it is for me, and im not accused of rape, but i have NO DOUBT this evil woman i chose to marry is going that way, i am petrified.


maybe you could advise, is there anything you would advise me entering into this escalating situation involving depression?

I am sorry to hear, but glad to not be alone. hang in there

Red Wine and sleeping tabs are my staple diet!

if you wanted some direct contact we can share email.

[Rights Fighter]

Sativa thank you for your input. You seem to have gone through a dreadful experience.

However, in furry's case nobody can know whether the allegation made against furry will result in a charge or not. Absolutely no evidence is required in alleged sex offence cases apart from the word of the complainant.

If she has carried her allegations of SO into her psychiatric history then there is more chance of charge and subsequent prosecution. A defendants life is then in the hands of a judge and a jury who will hopefully see the truth.

[SATIVA]

speechless the more i read.

how far back can an allegation purport to? indefinately?

i am absolutely outraged and the more i read i just cannot see a future for any of us.

i am genuinely speechless.

however, i do hope, whilst her word alone is enough to wreck a life and future and so on, my sentiment holds true.

[Rights Fighter]

I attended a trial in July where the two defendants were convicted on allegations going back over 30 years. One of the accusers was bouncing off the walls and was surrounded with psychiatric nurses - who she accused of lying. It was a complete shock that the guys were convicted as she came out with provable lie after provable lie.

If you are arrested it is imperative that you instruct a criminal defence solicitor who is experienced in defending false allegations of sexual abuse.

[SATIVA]

you can see why i didnt sleep again last night

That sounds like my wife.

Everyone is a liar. EVERYONE except her of course.

sounds like all i can do is have no contact whatsoever and hope for the best.

whatever i do antagonises her so revenge and vindictive response is bound to happen.

im finding it hard to see how i can live like this

thank you

[furry001]

To clarify

Rights Fighter, you said that no evidence is needed in order to bring a conviction. My wife says that I raped her on the Tuesday evening and I was arrested on the Wednesday evening. If the police find no evidence on either me or her of sexual activity (let alone rape), are you saying that they can still charge me just because she says so?

[Stellifier]

Apologies, not wanting to speak for Rights Fighter and I am not a student of law by any means but the brutal truth is that yes you could be charged without physical evidence (as I was). However in my experience the Police were quite supportive as far as they could be. Their job (not wanting to be patronising) is to collate evidence (and that could only be the word of your wife) and present it to the CPS who then make the decision whether to take it further.

What I would say however though is that if she made this allegation less than 24hrs after it supposedly took place from what I know of these things I would expect there to be some physical evidence even if she had a shower or bath so the fact that there wasn't should be encouraging for you. Were you physcially examined too?

Not wanting to trivialise or get your hopes up too much but if there's been no physical contact for a period of time then that is a more positive situation than if you had slept with her and then she had made the accusation.

You need to keep fighting, remain strong and with conviction that the truth will out eventually.

[furry001]

Before my wife made the allegation, we hadn't had physical contact for a good number of weeks. She says that I raped her on the Tuesday night and on Wednesday evening the police arrested me and asked me for "intimate samples" which I agreed to in order to prove I had done nothing wrong.

Seems a really daft system that a man can be charged with rape and sent to court even if there is no physical evidence.

Still, it is my intention to fight this all the way and then to get custody of my children.

[Saffron]

Unfortunately, there does not necessarily need to be physical evidence. This is why so many historic cases are pursued and result in convictions. However, the fact that this is not a historic case would suggest that there should be at least some sort of physical evidence. It depends on the details of the case. If she is claiming that the rape was forced, one would expect there to be some physical evidence of this, in the form of bruises/scratches/vaginal trauma. If she is claiming that she was intoxicated or asleep or that you threatened her into sex, then one would not expect any physical evidence beyond dna being present.

The reason why cases are pursued without physical evidence is due to the issue of consent. Many genuine rapists will claim that sex was consensual, when in fact it was not, and the victim could not fight back out of fear or incapacity. However in your case, sex, whether consensual or not, didn't even take place. This was exactly the same as my husband's case. Unfortunately, once his accuser admitted that sex hadn't taken place, he was charged with indecent assault, tried and then convicted.

Many investigations do result on a "no crime" or NFA. However, once charges are pressed and a trial takes place the chance of conviction is much much higher - about 60%. This is why it is absolutely vital that you do as much as you can to make sure no charges are brought.

As I said before, write down everything you can remember, even the tiniest detail can be important. Take statements from people who can vouch for you, and give them to your sol NOT the police. Garner as much support as you can and get your boxing gloves on.

Good luck. I will be thinking of you.