Newly Accused

[thc]

I've been falsely accused of raping someone.

I'd known the girl online for about 18 months and we'd met once briefly for just a chat a while ago. We had talked about catching up for an evening and she agreed to come up to mine

Anyway, after we got back to mine and started chatting, one thing led to another and we ended up upstairs. This was consensual and I did ask her if she wanted to go upstairs and she said yes.

After a little while she asked to stop which we immediately did and she said it was coz she was still upset about just spliting up with her boyfriend. We got dressed and we then went back downstairs again.

She was then busy on her phone texting someone,

20 minutes later, the police arrive and arrest me for rape. The won't tell me what she's alleged happened so I am very confused.

I have given the police the full story and allowed them to take any samples etc needed.

I got a duty solicitor who said that from a chat to the police, and between him and me, the police are sceptical of her story, but won't tell me what the story is.

I also know that in the past she's made at least 2 similar allegations which never got taken further.

I know it was stupid to get involved with her, but at the time it seems right as we'd been good friends for a long time and she was consenting too.

I've been bailed now for about 6 weeks but no idea what can / might happen between now and then.

I have managed to keep this from all my friends and family so far as if it does get dropped I will just try and forget about it but its tough as if it does go further I could lose my career, house, family, friends and access to my child who I adore.

I really don't know what I should be doing now as they have not charged me with anything and I don't know if I should be asking the police for more information to try and find out what she has said about what happened.

Although the solicitor seems to think it will be dropped I just don't know enough about whats going on yet and its doing my head in!

I'm trying to keep busy with my normal life and not letting on whats happening but its getting tougher by the day!

Can anyone offer any advice on what to do at this stage??

[Rights Fighter]

I'd known the girl online for about 18 months and we'd met once briefly for just a chat a while ago. We had talked about catching up for an evening and she agreed to come up to mine

I know it was stupid to get involved with her, but at the time it seems right as we'd been good friends for a long time and she was consenting too.

How can you have been good friends for a long time if you have met once, and that was briefly, for a chat?

The Crown would have a field day with that.

[thc]

because we'd spent a lot of time exchanging messages and calls etc, it good friends don't have to actually meet each other all the time.

[Rights Fighter]

The Crown would still pick on that I have to say.

How do you know for certain she has made false allegations in the past? Were these investigated by the police?

[thc]

I understand what you mean, but we were good friends anyway, there are records of some of our conversations to show how much we used to speak.

The other allegations were investigated by the police but no further action taken, and this was told to me by the person in question. I don't know any of the other facts about the cases really so cannot really comment any further. I didn't mean to infer they were definitely false, but that she had made allegations of a similar nature about other people.

[Rights Fighter]

Sorry to keep asking questions facts must be established for people to assist.

The other allegations were investigated by the police but no further action taken, and this was told to me by the person in question. I don't know any of the other facts about the cases really so cannot really comment any further. I didn't mean to infer they were definitely false, but that she had made allegations of a similar nature about other people.

If this matter does go further then the solicitor should be obtaining information about these previous allegations and what exactly they were about.

As you have not yet been charged, unfortunately, and it is very frustrating for you, a solicitor cannot do a fat lot to advise you as no paperwork will be available yet. Paperwork only comes filtering through once a person has been charged.

Easy for me to say I know, but you need to hang in there and wait to see what will happen.

Keep coming back here and I am sure you will find support.

[thc]

Thank you, this has helped a lot already.

Like you said, the solicitor can't really do anything now until we hear whats going on. Its just frustrating as I have no idea what she has alleged happened so I can't understand if she's making up loads of stories about what happened or not.

I know that as soon as she said she wanted to stop we stopped and that was it.

I explained everything as it happened to the police and also mentioned about the previous stuff too so they are looking into it.

Just wish I had a time machine and could roll back a week now...

[tmophead]

I am going to help as possible as I can... I am analysing your story and I will be frank and honest with what you have to do. You will be fine though.

[thc]

Thank you. Everything is just such a mess at the moment and I just don't know what to do at the moment!

[italian 1]

accusation

hi there i know where your coming from my bf has been accused and charged now on bail some girl he invited back to gis flat with others accused him of rape, its turning into a nitemare, he has been for his i.d pics she has yet to look at them theres a new witness, im starting to doubt him its not good but its a waiting game at least you werent charged, they cant arrest you unless they have evidence

[thc]

Hi Italian

Thanks for your post. Its going to be a very tough time for all of us. Try not to doubt him, I know its not easy but he'll need your support until everything comes out.

They did arrest me without evidence, but obviously they haven't charged me yet. Its early days, but keep chatting to people on here and you will find a lot of support and advice.

Its a shame everyone has to meet like this.

[italian 1]

it is a shame , im sorry to hear whats happened to you too, i believe everything happens for a reason, i just dont understand why women do this, just believe all will come good

[Hedgecroft]

hi there i know where your coming from my bf has been accused and charged now on bail some girl he invited back to gis flat with others accused him of rape, its turning into a nitemare, he has been for his i.d pics she has yet to look at them theres a new witness, im starting to doubt him its not good but its a waiting game at least you werent charged, they cant arrest you unless they have evidence

You cant be arrested unless they have evidence "WRONG" unfourtunatley at present when the rape word is used the police are duty bound to investigate. The bad news is this will mean you are arreseted and interviewed under caution. You will then be bailed pending further enquiries.

Hopefully you know your boyfriend and will know this is a boundary he will not cross. There is something that he is probably embaressed and not saying. Its better to tell the truth like I had a few to drink and kissed her heavily etc. rather than lie about any part of the evening.

When I went through my ordeal I swallowed my pride and told every personal event / detail on tape and got it out of the way. Having been through it myself I cant explain how humilitating an experience it is. If he has never displayed signs in your relationship then its pretty unlikely he is likely to force a perfect stranger.