my autstic son has been accused of rape

[very worried for my son]

my 20 year old son who has learning diffucults ,and autsim went out a few months ago with a few friends who he didnt know well he had a couple of drinks at one of there flats where there was a group of them ,early in the day a witness had said the girl was kissing my son ,later on my son who doesnt normal drink wasnt feeling to good so the girl told him to go to her room for a lie down ,she later joined him and my son said she started to kiss him ,got on top of him after undoing his pants and they had sex my son said for about 3 mins this was my sons first experience of sex,anyway all her friends where in the front room while this was going on ,my son said she decided that she dint want to go any further so he got up and came home later that night the police came ,and arrested him i have to say the police treated him fantastic anyway he has been on bail since april and him and my family are findind it very hard at the moment ,we have been told it will be delt with in next four weeks ,i feel this girl was embrassed when she relised her friends would know as most of the group call my son spaz but my son just wants friends so just carrys on hanging out with them ,the police have said none of her friends who were in the next room heard anything ?? am so worried any advice

[Rights Fighter]

Blimey! This seems to be a carbon copy of one case I know about - the girl was found to be lying and is now serving time!

I think you are right that she's embarrassed having had sex with somebody who her peer group looks down on.

You don't say whether he has been charged. If he has not then a solicitor working with public funding cannot help until he is charged although obviously you hope that does not occur.

Until you know where the friends of the accuser stand it is not a good idea for him to hang around them as another allegation could arise in order to "substantiate" the first girl's.

Was he swabbed for DNA? Obviously there would be some if he did go a certain distance however it depends on what the girl says too. For instance she could have described something where one would expect to find something but if it's missing it would help your lad.

Hopefully this will be found to be what it is - a false allegation. Keep posting and read other similar stories on here so you can get an idea of what advice has been offered before.

[Saffron]

I'm so sorry to welcome you here. Bittersweet pleasure.

I really feel for you - your heart must ache for your son at the best of times - knowing his so-called mates call him Spaz must be very difficult for you. He sounds like he just wants to be friends with these people. However I definitely agree with Rights Fighter - he should not hang around with them while these allegations are still being dealt with.

This definitely sounds like a case of post-coital regret to me - she realised the others would tease her, so is claiming she was raped.

If it is any comfort, a very small percentage of reported rapes actually reach trial. However you should prepare for the worst. As RF says, there is very little a solicitor can do until your lad is actually charged...at that point the details of the allegation should be made clear. But you should still do some research into good sols with experience of *successfully* defending sex crime cases.

The fact that the others in the living room didn't hear anything is not really relevant unless she is claiming she screamed and struggled.

How is your son coping? and yourself? Might be a good idea to get both of you down to see your GP. The GP will not necessarily hand out medication, but could be able to direct you to a counselling service.

It is a little strange that this has been going on since April - rape cases are supposed to be fast tracked/given priority these days, although I know many people, both genuine victims and falsely accused, who would say this is not the case.

Keep posting - better out than in!

[very worried for my son]

no he hasnt been charged ,solicter said he would be very shocked if he was as my son was very detailed about everything that happen[ thats one good thing about being autstic he goes into great detail ] he was bailed from april to july then to last week when he was meant to go back police phone and said he doesnt need to go back to answer his bail and they will get back with another date and hope to have it done in next 4 weeks ,he had dna took

[very worried for my son]

forgot to say my son doesnt go out anymore ,hes turning into a lonely angry person ,hes never been mainstream school so doesnt have any real friends and finds it hard to make them,i think he really thought this girl wanted to be his girlfriend as he told police she said she will see him tomorrow i really feel for him it must seem like the whole world is agaist him at times

[Rights Fighter]

Are there no day groups or similar for those who are autistic? I used to help out at "Headway" which is a group for head injured people to get together and do different activities.

There may well be one in your locality. Try your local CAB or Centre for Volunteering.

Your lad needs to be kept occupied. Poor sausage

[Mayflower]

forgot to say my son doesnt go out anymore ,hes turning into a lonely angry person ,hes never been mainstream school so doesnt have any real friends and finds it hard to make them,i think he really thought this girl wanted to be his girlfriend as he told police she said she will see him tomorrow i really feel for him it must seem like the whole world is agaist him at times

Hi there

I am so sorry to hear this has happened to your son. We have been in a very similar situation, recently, with a good outcome, please do send me a private message if I can help at all, I would be very happy to.

Some of my story is on here, although probably only the very beginning and the end. It's a dreadful situation your son is in, no matter where it goes from here, the damage is done in many ways already, but one day at a time for now, and always prepare for the worst even when you are feeling positive.

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...=6729#post6729 - this only gives brief details, as this is a public forum, but I would like you to know that my son is also Autistic

Mayflower

[RFLH]

Thanks Mayflower, I'm sure it'll help to see that there can be a positive outcome.

[isi]

it sounds like you are doing an amazing job with your son. Im sorry your son is finding things really difficult and its no surprise really.

RF suggestion of going to a local group may help him and distract him for a bit during the day. I don't know where you are so cannot suggest any local groups as I have worked with low to high functioning children and adults with ASD. You could contact The National Autistic Society for activities, courses, jobs ect depending on your sons needs that are in your local area. (you prob know all this so sorry if its repetitive).

I hope your son finds justice and good luck as it soulds like his vunlerability was abused.

x

[very worried for my son]

we are still waiting ,hes been bailed 4 times ,my soilcter is saying we are going to present our selfs at the police station on the 26th of jan the date hes bailed to again ,the police officer that is dealing with it came today for me to sign a note to say he can go and see my sons dr today ,am worried sick its been 10 months of worry

[friday]

don't really have anything I can add but just wanted to say I am reading and thinking of you.
x

[Poncho]

Witness suggestion

Hello there sir.
If charged inform the solicitor that you would like statements for the defence from the group of people he was with. To be asked seperatley & within the same day.

His interaction with the group
1.Did they see the girl informing your son to go too her room?

2.How soon after did she leave the group to go to her room?

3.From the moment the girl leaves for her room & the moment they see your son wanting to go home, how much time has elapsed?

4.How did the girl appear to be when she returned to the group & what were their thoughts?

With regards to your sons emotional state, it is a living hell as I went through the same last year. If possible, try to gain help from a charity to provide a mentor if your son agrees to it.

[Rights Fighter]

I advise the OP not to answer the questions posed online but use them as a guide.

This is a public forum and anybody can read what is posted here - including the police.

[lost&lonely87]

I know sorta what you have been going through

I was accused of Rape in sept. 2006 and I am actually on the autistic spectrum. I was in college and was invited to hang with a girl i met at a part while under the influence and everything seemed fine and its interesting because she also said I'll see you tomorrow and then the cops were at my dorm room a few minutes later. I went through the whole court thing for a whole year every month. I was out casted from my town and kicked out of the fire dept i was a member of. I had to just keep my head strong and continue to live and survive. Luckily i was found innocent exactly a year after the accusation. But it had been a hard road these last few years. I still get hate mail and harassment by people ive never met. But i have learned to just for get to past and move on its been tough but i have a good job now and im back in college and you just have to stay strong and keep moving. I can totally feel for your son. I'm 22 and I have trouble make friends as well. I still havent made much friends i dont even really think i have any real friends, but i just wanted to tell u my story and let you know that everything will be okay and you and your son will make it through. I think one of the things thats kept me going is my mom and dad have been there for me through all of this. Just be there for your son and never give up, the more u struggle the more god loves you.

ps-
let me know if there anything i can do for you or your son. I'd like to send your son a message sometime and give him some advice, let me know if thats ok with you.

PLEASE SEND A PM TO ME.