accused of sexual assault (I am not guilty!)

[firehawk]

indeed. thank-you. but the time we have been together, I did believe, feel and thought I saw it was love. but of course, trying to re-analyse that is so tough and difficult but I know that she was using me and does know how to hurt me effectively by making this accusation and her way of dealing with it.

[firehawk]

i think she is with someone else already.

and something else happened yesterday as well. on my email account, she only knows my real name and no one else and then she was either using her other account or someone did it for her or her new partner (which is pathetic) and started to send me private messages and constantly adding/addressing/writing my name in them (like hello [name], what can I do for you [name] etc...), then threatened to phone the police and they have a no molestation order?!

I contacted the police and informed them about this. I have no idea who that person is but.... just wierd, scary and stupid. Also they said I do not have such an order, just bail condition

if she is with someone else already, thats pathetic after everything ive done for her and how we connected. and it shows how "quick" she recovered from a serious allegation against me *rolleyes*


putting that aside, i just want her. was so easy to be with her (with respect), got on so well. just why do women destroy good things then moan about not having them?

[Rights Fighter]

Stop trying to analyse her feelings and the "what ifs" etc and start to work on your defence.

the police won't be interested in anything that will help you - best to make sure your solicitor engages the services of a forensic computer expert. I can refer one to you if that becomes necessary.

[firehawk]

sorry. its just a difficult time.

indeed. but i think that would be over drastic perhaps. i do have the copy of the stuff, but wont use it until absolute necessary, and i will give that to my solicitor on monday when I have to see her again....and pay!

just want the case to be dropped to be honest but doubt it will. defence I have is next to nothing because I don't know how to convince the jury on why she would make such an allegation.

[Rights Fighter]

That is the problem with sex cases - no evidence is required apart from teh word of the complainant and the judge will tell the jury that it is up to them to decide "who is telling the truth".

You should get your boxing gloves on and do not withhold something that might assist. If something might assist then it will do your case no good to only use it unless absolutely necessary.

Your ex is throwing everything she can at you so you really should be defending in the same manner. Hopefully the matter will be dropped soon by you really do need to prepare yourself, in case it is not.

Sorry to sound so tough but you have to stop looking back

[firehawk]

I completely understand my friend and appreciate this.

I saw another solicitor/guy today. he gave a different approach basically saying that I should admit that things were out of hand and that all it was a peck on the cheek.

plus her age is 7 years older than me
plus she wasnt being faithful
plus the fact that on that day they went for a "meal" and had wine...

so kind of agreeing to some of it, not all of it but at the end of the day it was a peck on the cheek (which really it was).

no idea how to take this side of things

[VeryWorried]

Hi firehawk,

Forgive me, I haven't read the entire thread, but the last few posts and there was a point I wanted to re-iterate. I will read the whole thread when I get the chance though.

From reading your posts, it's clear that you still have feelings for your ex-partner. I guess that's natural depending on circumstances, but it's completely polar opposite to how I feel about my ex-partner.

The point I wanted to expand a little on, was that you've said you want to leave some things out of the situation until it becomes absoluetely necessary. There are a few problems with that.

1) If I remember right, you said that there's not much you can do to prove yourself as being innocent. Because of the nature of the allegation, unfortunately, that's par for the course. Real rapes happen in private, so there will most likely not be witnesses to say it happened, or it didn't happen.
2) Due to #1, in court (if it gets that far), it will be your word against hers. Your fate will depend on who 12 strangers believe the most. Your best shot (to my thinking - and I'm no legal expert), is to completely destroy her credibility whlist maintaining your own.
3) If you withold information, then later bring it into play, you will immediately get the question "why didn't you say this before?" Make sure you're ready for that to happen.

Specifically about #2 above...

"He said, she said" will do nothing for your case. You need to concentrate on what you can prove she has lied about. It doesn't matter how small the dent is, but to convince 12 people that you don't deserve to spend time behind bars, you really need to make as many dents in her credibility as possible. If you can prove beyond reasonable doubt that she's not 100% telling the truth, it puts doubt into the minds of other people.

At the same time, you need to be completely, brutally honest about everything. Failure to do so will leave you vulnerable to exactly what you're trying to do to her.

In my case, I'm more than prepared to stand up in a courtroom, and state openly that I've broken the law, and even go so far as to provide evidence for it. In doing so, I'm risking prison anyway. But more importantly, in doing so, I'm proving that my accuser is lying about key aspects of her argument. Furthermore, my admission of guilt for breaking another law also incriminates her (and the situation would be far worse for her than it would me). My admission about that will damage both of our credibility, but hers far worse than mine.

Someone recently said the following to me: "She's trying to throw as much mud at you as she can. You need to build a castle around yourself, then throw as much of it back as possible."

If you can show yourself as being as credible/believable as possible, whilst proving that your accuser is lying, you can virtually gurantee the jury will believe you, not her.

Doing that will be difficult for you if you still have feelings for her, but if you can't bring yourself to do it, then your fate really is in the hand of 12 random strangers. Personally, that prospect scares the **** out of me!

Stay strong, and remember that honesty is paramount.

[firehawk]

thank-you, i appreciate that and yes I totally agree.

the only thing I really have is, the few emails that were sent on that week where she wanted to see me, says she loves me etc... etc.. but in her statement she stated that it was over a month before.

Also the bankstatement where I transferred alot of money, and buying her things, going to the cashpoint etc.... so she was using me for the money

her friends not approving of me due to my origin, therefore would side more and more with her

the age gap (she was 7 years older, but she and everyone knows I am mature for my age, VERY mature) could play a favour also.

she has a bad credit rating

and something I found last night was that whilst we were in this great relationship, she signed in/logged into a dating site where she had a profile up! makes no sense why even though I always asked if everything was great etc... etc... and answer was always yes, so if it was great then why betray me (when she says she dosnt) and go onto a dating site?!


not sure what else!

[Rights Fighter]

Having bad credit rating does not mean that she's lying!

In relation to "bad character" this will be subject to legal arguments pre-trial and during the course of the trial. What you may think you can throw into the melting pot may in fact be deemed inadmissible.

Take legal advice on this rather than plan and then come down to earth with a bump when you find out you cannot turn this into a mud slinging match.

[firehawk]

indeed. really, that is the only legal advice ive been given to be honest. im going to see the solicitor on monday again.
in the end, on the question of "sexual assault", I dont know what to say apart from no, i didnt do it but this is what actually happened and this is how we were in the relationship etc...

i just see no way out

[RFLH]

and that is all they're interested in the basic 'I didn't do it' - in fact they don't care if you're innocent or not. They'll do their job of putting up the best defence they consider is the strongest.

You can go over the same ground until you're blue in the face but it'll all boiled down to she said you did it, you say you didn't. Everything else is padding and really doesn't matter.

[firehawk]

yeh.

best defence... hm. well in my personal opinion women get the upper hand.

yesterday I saw someone else/ another legal advisor and he basically said was to admit most of it, but tweak it slightly such as, she would always take me for a ride, and use me for her needs...she was the more dominent one and basically got what she wanted at times such as this

[RFLH]

well at least you can see that now - you couldn't before.

[firehawk]

indeed, even though i know it isnt as true as that but i guess i just have to face it.

no idea if that would even stand up in court.

dead man walking!

[Bukem00]

.... Your word against hers

Here... read this:
False rape Claims Abound. I think this is the point their trying to get across to you

http://whatmenthinkofwomen.blogspot....ms-abound.html