We're considering closing this forum and would appreciate your thoughts, memories, comments etc, and especially any offers of help if you'd like the forum to stay running.
You may read the posts but if you wish to post yourself, then you need to register. This is simple and you just need a valid email address.
Register Here
We look forward to seeing you posting soon!
If you have already registered, but have forgotten your password, please click here to get it reset.
indeed would be better but sadly she didnt.... nor will she (probably with someone else now which hurts even more considering what she said over the months)
I had to pay because I couldn't wait any longer for the legal aid to be transferred, and the quicker to work, the better I guess.
still waiting for the transfer to happen. hopefully next week now.
commital is on the 13th of October.
surely the emails on that week (and perhaps before) would help me in some way? Especially if in her statement she stated that the relationship was over a month ago when that was never true as she still contacted me (each other) but on very minimal type levels with some tension?
EXTRACT:
surely the emails on that week (and perhaps before) would help me in some way? Especially if in her statement she stated that the relationship was over a month ago when that was never true as she still contacted me (each other) but on very minimal type levels with some tension?
Yes sorry - I am not with it at the mo - got a sinus infection and it plays havoc with my brain!!! Don't ask!!!
You say that the relationship was over but she still contacted you (each other) but on very minimal type levels with some tension. That would indicate that the relationship, as it was, HAD finished if there was tension and it was only minimal contact.
Had she sent you loving messages after the alleged assault then that would have been very helpful.
If you choose to continue to go "not guilty" and you get a not guilty verdict you should get some, if not most of that cost of the interview with the solicitor.
she said she loves me, and wants to come back to me a "more certain girlfriend". this was within those 2 weeks.
the relationship was not at an end at all nor did she state that at all.... but only when giving the statement to the police.
the tension was because it was a time of uncertainty, as with anything/anyone.
but she did say that she loves me, wants to meet me again, and get back to normal and that if she didnt love me, then she wouldnt have been talking to me. all in those 2 weeks.
the meeting and "love you" last email was on the day before this incident.
i would have also thought the prosecutor would have to prove that I am guilty for the jury or something? (I know the verdict comes from the jury)
but apart from this, I have nothing else to prove my innocence. her sending mixed signals is one, but also taking me financially, saying something different to her friends and something else to me, then her on the same week saying that she wishes that no one would tell her what to do or think (her friends) but they still fed her fuel to add to the fire.
her past also I guess... having unsuccessful relationships and some traumas including her ex husband.
Officially the Crown has to prove guilt but in reality you have to do innocence yourself.
but also taking me financially, saying something different to her friends and something else to me, then her on the same week saying that she wishes that no one would tell her what to do or think (her friends) but they still fed her fuel to add to the fire.
Can you prove she is "taking you financially", or has done? You don't have to prove it on here - we are not the jury. But if you can prove she has tried to use you for money - blatantly then that might help.
Would any of the friends give evidence for you? and why do you say that they "add fuel to her fire?"
I can prove the financial stuff, from the bank statement which I gave to the solicitor. including the bail out, eternity ring, cashpoints, paying for shopping etc... etc...
of course her friends wouldnt give evidence for me but only for her for obvious reasons even though, she saw nothing but heard a couple of things.
its like if I had nothing for example to help me, then how can they just say that I am guilty of something without having much evidence/proof?
Taking her shopping, buying her an eternity ring etc does not mean that she was "on the make".
Many years ago I had a "boyfriend" who used to insist on paying for everything to the point of embarrassing me in public, then he would complain (when I wanted a night or day off from seeing him) that I was costing him a lot of money.
When I told him that maybe we'd best part company and therefore he would then keep his money safe and close to him he pestered me for three years after that, sending flowers, and leaving gifts outside my house despite me sending him insulting letters telling him to basically "bog off!" (That is being very polite!)
You need to work out exactly why you think she was using you for money.
I know I wasn't using that guy for money although he thought I was. We would have arguments at Safeways till about who would pay for the shopping!
Last edited by Rights Fighter; 13 September 2009, 09:03 PM.
bail out.... sorry i mean, she was going to face eviction and I gave her alot of money to stop that eviction.
but also, throughout, she would want money from me etc... etc... as she doesnt earn much but could afford say the expensive items and all that.
eternity ring? well we did agree but she also said before all that, she would wear a ring or something so people wouldnt judge her the fact that she is a single parent of 2.....
using money so she would feel better about herself, and she knows she spends all the time and cannot control that, and the eviction should have been a wake up call for her as she always said at the time, but obviously wasnt the case.
she also couldnt handle the fact that she was in the wrong for minor things and just couldnt handle the small bumps on the road and well, led her to all this nonsense.
its difficult to explain, so many emotions. hate, anger, hurt, upset, love....
but money was a factor. why the accusation? well, she knew I was running low on money, and also it was the only way she could deal with completely getting rid of me, taking me down and putting a bad mark on me and its how she may deal with things and lashing out her past on me.
she also couldnt handle the fact that she was in the wrong for minor things and just couldnt handle the small bumps on the road and well, led her to all this nonsense.
its difficult to explain, so many emotions. hate, anger, hurt, upset, love....
but money was a factor. why the accusation? well, she knew I was running low on money, and also it was the only way she could deal with completely getting rid of me, taking me down and putting a bad mark on me and its how she may deal with things and lashing out her past on me.
This information must be put to the barrister - use it.
well legal aid is taking its time to transfer between the 2 firms. the original firm (the one with the duty solicitor whom I wasnt impressed with) are trying to delay things which doesnt help me.
I just hope it gets sorted this week otherwise I am stuffed.
the lady did ring from the original firm, very nice (secretary) but I just dont have much confidence in them due to the duty solicitor but also the fact that its in the same city as where my now ex is based.
man, how the hell can I win this. I know I know I keep talking and saying about it, but it is a big worry as you can imagine. a serious thing. not only that, but also part of me, like say limbs have been cut completely because.... I miss her.
It certainly isn't love on her part from what you've put - you were more of a meal ticket.
If she had any feelings towards you, she wouldn't have gone to the police and lied about you. She knows exactly what she's doing and how to hurt you effectively.
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..
Tweet
Comment