accused of sexual assault (I am not guilty!)

[firehawk]

My question involves criminal law for the UK


unfortunately my now ex has blown things way out of propertion and called in the police and I was charged for common assault no battery, and sexual assault.

in my life, this is the first time I have committed such an offence (there was no sexual assault) and I am never in trouble as I am a professional and also do not believe in such things, plus of my strong cultural and religious upbringing.

I just cannot believe after everything I have done for her and us, and how our relationship was so great, and for her to turn out like this is just devestating.


so, the sexual charges got dropped, and I had my hearing at the magistrates and then the sexual charges were put back up again by CPS!


what happened was that all I wanted to do was talk to her and calm her down and talk things over, as this is what I believe in and always do and have been open with each other.

she said no and i said please lets talk, so when she was entering her house, I also entered as the door was left open and thought that was an invitation.

sat down, she did not even look at me but turned her back towards me and i said please, turn around and of course she said no.

there were a few exchange of words (nothing of swearing nature) and then another friend of hers came to which at this point without my acknowledgement told her to go get help.

I then said look, can we please talk in the kitchen to which she agreed. I told her to close the door, as its rude to talk/be in this mode when there is someone else present in the other room, and she did this.

i asked her why she is like this and after everything she said about wanting me and "cannot live" without me etc... etc... and why she is behaving like this she just said to me just go, i cannot handle this and I said no, we need to talk about this properly.

of course she and I was upset and angry I guess. I held my arms out to indicate that its ok, lets hold each other and calm down. I went closer to her and she was inviting then when I tried to hold her softly by the shoulders (her arms were crossed/folded and she was also wearing the jacket I had bought her a few months ago) and to give her a peck on the cheek, she said "no, off" and my peck went on her shoulders.

I never even touched or looked at her breasts at all, nor am I this type of person and she knows this VERY well. In addition how would it even be possible if she had her arms crossed in front of her breasts?

at this point, one of her friends "barged" into the kitchen opening the door, so I moved back so that the door did not hit me or my ex and she came in to open some wine.


I then eventually left and of course got arrested.


now, she is accusing me of touching her breasts and back and kissing her on the back - this was never true at all. all I did was to hold her softly by the shoulders and talk calmy as I am normally and to put any fear out of her because she knows I am not the violent type or any kind and that other people are feeding poisen into her to "get rid" of me for no reason at all!


we were also due to get into the marriage stage as well, and a few months ago we agreed we would get each other an eternity ring, to which I did for her birthday last month.

She also still owes me alot of money for a bail out I did for her and her kids as she was going to be evicated (and all this, at the beginning of the relationship).


I have not eaten in weeks or slept, lost ALOT of weight and loss of earnings because of all this, and worried what will happen. I pleaded not guilty to the charge and now will be taken to the crown court.

I am in the process of getting legal aid but still I need to know what is happening, what will I be up against and if I will be put in prison for first offence, and all this is minor!

I did no such thing as she has accused me off. I am so scared and unable to focus on anything!


please, can someone help I do not know what to do, and have a whole life ahead of me but now fearful, its cut short.

This offence is apperently on the minor scale but i dont know what to think or do. I am applying for legal aid but who knows how long that will take, this is really distressing and so unfair. The whole experience is just so traumatic and my life is over

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Firehawk

Are you in the UK now and is this where the alleged assaults took place?

If you are in the UK, without telling us the town (this is an open forum so members of the public can see this) where you are, would you let me know the county or the nearest city?

I ask as I might know of a solicitor in your area who is experienced in these matters.

You must have been interviewed as the CPS are involved and it seems that you have attended at least one court hearing. Do you know what the hearing was called? (For instance was it the "committal" hearing at magistrates court?")

I need to know so that I can further advise you.

[firehawk]

Thank-you I appreciate it.

I have a solicitor, or shall I say, its being in the process in the berkshire area. but its taking its time.

I have been for my hearing at the magistrates.

this was the first ever court date at the magistrates for my plea.

I just want to know what I am up against and how to proove my innocence. I dont and cant go to prison and do not want to be on the register either. im in my early 20's with a successful career and education and strong upbringing.

[Rights Fighter]

The next hearing in the Magistrates court will be the "Committal" hearing where it will be "committed" to the Crown court. You will need to attend.

The first hearing at Crown court should be PCMH - Plea and Case Management Hearing.

This is where you will enter your plea. By this time you should have met your barrister at least once (although that doesn't always happen in reality).

The barrister will ask you if you would like to plead guilty prior to the hearing and he will tell you that if you plead guilty now, then you will have "credit" for an early plea which will shorten your sentence.

If you plead guilty in order to get a shorter sentence, you will not be able to appeal the conviction. If you are not guilty then you maintain your innocence stance.

That hearing is usually very short.

There is likely to be a PII Hearing - Public Interest and Immunity. This is where your side should request any bad character of the accuser and any of her witnesses. This might relate to possibly making false allegations in the past, any criminal convictions that show/indicate dishonesty.... etc.

Also if she has had counselling in the past and/or any psychiatric assistance then defence may apply to see this evidence. The Crown of course will try to stop any evidence that will assist defence from being put.

If you know anything along those lines that might assist you must tell your solicitor asap.

Do you know if your sol is experienced in defending false allegations of sexual offences? He/she will need to instruct a barrister who has had experience of these cases.

You write as though English is your 2nd language - do you have a solicitor who understands exactly what you are telling them? And importantly, do you understand what they are telling you? Will you need the services of an interpreter?

I ask these questions as you must make sure you understand the proceedings clearly.

I am sorry I am not getting on to answer quickly but I keep losing my internet connection as I am using mobile broadband - I have just moved house!

[firehawk]

no thats ok, i understand.

english is my 2nd language however it is very strong and clear, so apologies if i do not write correctly, im just tired and traumatic with all this.

no, the accuser does not have, as far as I am aware of, a past of seeing a therapist or something. she has had a bad past in terms of relationships but ive always been there supporting her. one was where she was raped when she was 18 I believe, then in a marriage and the husband cheated and was violent towards her.

she works @ the NHS as an unqualified nurse.

whilst i was in the relationship, there were a couple of odd tiffs (nothing major at all) and I always wanted to leave the premises as I like to cool off, go home, think about things and be a better person then after that, start talking and continue on as normal but she physically stopped me and also got to the point where at one point, she pushed me on the bed and pinned me down but I never did anything about it.

she also threw an empty metal can at me as we were "fooling" around but she did this for no reason really and i didnt report it as i understood things.

but this is just way big and blown way over propertion all because I wanted to talk and nothing more.

not sure if my sol is experienced in dealing with this case - i will find out i guess, but dont want the legal aid to get messy by transferring one to the other etc....


there is another witness sure but she did not see much at all. she was the one that was told to "get help".
there was also another witness, but she never made a statement but she was there for part of the conversation/argument that happened in the living room when my ex told me to "sit over there" when I entered the property as the door was left wide open.


currently, its my word against hers.


If I plea guilty early, is there a way knowing what sentence i would get? Remember, i have never ever had a conviction before or been in trouble. I also have a religious upbringing.


my hands never ever touched her breasts or been in that area at all.

[Rights Fighter]

In your first post you said this:

in my life, this is the first time I have committed such an offence (there was no sexual assault) and I am never in trouble as I am a professional and also do not believe in such things, plus of my strong cultural and religious upbringing.

If you have not committed the offence then you really should be careful how you word things - the Crown would leap onto that with great glee.

I don't know how long you would get if you pleaded guilty - however you would be on the sex offenders register for at least ten years and as you would have "admitted guilt" then you would be labelled a sex offender by admission.

Plus, of course, you would not be able to appeal the conviction later on.

You say you didn't report an empty can being thrown at you - why would you? If everyone was prosecuted for such minor "offences" then the country would be in a worse state than it already is with billions spent on prosecuting such cases.

The same could be said for her sometimes pinning you to the bed. I know that women do sometimes report such minor misdemeanours but in the grand scheme of things they are a complete waste of public money.

The answer to that is to walk away from somebody who exhibits violent tendencies.

Have you met your barrister yet?

[firehawk]

no, i have not. and what do you mean by carefully wording? what exactly?

I am not guilty. i just cannot be in prison or on the register. this is so unfair. women get all the rights

[Rights Fighter]

Women do not get all the rights - many have been raped and assaulted only to see their assailant(s) walk away.

This is why I suggested that you might need an interpreter.

"Word things carefully" = "be careful how you say or write something" because it can be misconstrued or misunderstood and used against you.

You have asked how long you would get if you pleaded guilty - I have answered that the result of you pleading guilty would mean that you would be on the register and have a possible prison sentence although I do not know how long a judge would give you or whether it would be custodial. I can tell you that if it is not custodial you would then have to agree to do some form of SOTP - Sex offenders Therapy Programme. Not easy if you have not committed the offence as the offence has to be discussed in-depth.

I have to go out today but will be back later on today so please feel free to ask more questions - I just won't be able to answer them for a few hours.

[firehawk]

I appreciate that, thank-you kindly.

this is a very very minor thing compared to other incidents over all (rape etc... etc...) and wouldnt it be a waste of public money, my taxes?

Would my ex be informed that the case would be going to the crown court after I had pleaded not guilty @ the magistrates?

to be on the register is such a shameful thing for me, my family and my career. I wouldnt even be able to go to the states for a holiday/business as I do every year.
I spoke to the PC dealing with this, he said that its on a very very minor level and that I wouldnt go to prison but said its unfortunate CPS put up the charges again.

wierd thing is in her past with her ex husband, she got abused/violated with him but did nothing however ive been there to support her initially.
then she was with a PC who cheated on her and who faked to be on duty when he actually was with her but did nothing again.

[Saffron]

Hello Firehawk

I can't add anything to the excellent advice that Rights Fighter has given you, but I wish you a warm welcome and hope all goes well for you.

Saffron

[firehawk]

Thank-you saffron. I appreciate it.
so worried

[Rights Fighter]

Just got back.......phew!

The accuser will be informed if it is committed to the Crown court.

Any other potential witnesses may well be contacted too.

I am busy tomorrow (still moving home stuff) but once tomorrow is over I should be able to spend more time trying to advise you.

Just because this is a minor case does not lessen the traumatic effect it has on you and your family/friends.

Therefore you will need all the support you can get, practical and emotional.

I hope the weather is better where you are!

[firehawk]

thank-you rights fighter, you are truely a nice and wonderful person and I hope your move goes well.

the way it stands is that its her word against mine.

there was another friend of her there but she only was there in the presence in the living room were me and the ex were upset and exchanging words (not bad) along the lines of everything I have done for her and how could she be like this and that we should talk

when I went to the magistrates, apperently the friend never gave a statement? Only her other friend (the one who barged into the kitchen to open some wine) did but never saw anything apart from hearing "get off, off" and that I am controlling? (which I never have been nor is it relevant to this portion)


I am probably wrong, but there doesnt seem to be enough evidence here for sexual assault, but rather an accusation.

[Saffron]

Hi Firehawk

It's completely natural to be worried sick, you wouldn;t be human if you weren;t worried.

I agree with Rights Fighter that you should be careful how you phrase things. Even a misplaced comma can result in a completely different meaning to a sentence!

Stay strong. Have you been to see your GP? I would definitely recommend it, especially if you have not been able to sleep or eat. Your doctor will be able to offer medication, or refer you to a counsellor.

Best

Saffron

[firehawk]

thank-you saffron. no i havent been to a doctor/GP as I don't have time, have had loss of earnings and dont want to let my client down as I have been off for 1.5 weeks due to all this ordeal.

also because my unfortunate ex is an NHS nurse and after what she did.... I kind of have lost that last bit of trust in the NHS which includes doctors as well, I know its wrong to say but.... I guess, one bad apple does spoil the batch.