Worried sick

[Worried]

My son rang today to say that he has been falsely accused of rape to a girl he dated for a short time last year. I don't know what to do. He's beside himself (he's 22) and on his own overseas in America. She had arrived at his flat drunk after going to a party last year and he let her sleep in his bed. When she woke up the next morning she asked him if anything had happened and he said 'no'. He has flatmates who can testify that nothing happened and they were there.

This girl stayed friends with him, kept on coming around to their flat bringing baked goodies for him etc. Her flatmate told my son today that this girl never showed any sign of being angry with him at all infact always wanted to get back with him after they broke up. He broke up with her over a previous girlfriend he said he still had feelings for - the only girl he has ever had sex with. This last week he got back together with the previous girlfriend and this girl has found out and he believes she's being vindictive over it. It's her parents that have filed charges against him.

He has no money. The police told him to come to them which he was going to, but a friend who is a lawyer told him not to go as he would be arrested straight away (the charge was filed in another US State). They said that he needs to get a good lawyer to go to the police for him. If he's arrested he will lose his green card (which has taken him a year and a lot of money to get) whether he is let off the charges or not. He also was leaving in 7 days for an overseas job which he has been looking forward to which was to last 6 months and he will miss out on if he can't get there. He's depressed, scared and we just don't know what to do. He can't sleep and feels sick all the time. This kind of situation is really new for us. We'd appreciate any help or advice?

[downtrodden]

Hi Worried,

what a terrible situation to find himself in, especially in a foreign country. I don't know much about the law in the US, but if his friend has advised him not to attend the police station, but get a solicitor to go, then that is what he should do.

How come her parents brought the accusation? Is she a minor?

I would also suggest that his friends who can support him make statements to his legal advisor before the police can ask to speak to them.

[Worried]

Thanks downtrodden. No, she's not a minor and wasn't when the alleged incident happened either, so we think possibly when she's been upset about him seeing the other girl that she's said something to her parents and they have decided to do this. He's just feeling really vulnerable at the moment. I just can't believe girls can get away with this sort of thing so easily. It's so unfair.

[downtrodden]

Yes it is so unfair, especially when they are picking on someone who they KNOW will have little understanding of their legal process.

Maybe you can find some info from this link..

http://www.falsely-accused.com/clients/cases/rape.html

[Worried]

Thanks so much for the link to the website. I've been researching as much as I can. I'm so surprised how easy it is for this to happen.

[Rights Fighter]

Hi

I am in regular contact with the group FAST: False Allegations Support Team

http://www.false-allegations-team.com/

These are all lay people (apart from private investigators who assist) but they learn as they go and help each other with tips for trial and appeal.

[Saffron]

Hi Worried

I am so sorry to hear of your situation. I can't add anything to the advice the others have given, except to saly welcome.

Saffron

[Worried]

Thanks everyone. I really do appreciate the support and have been able to look at some good websites that you've given me. We're still waiting on news, but I'm really concerned about how much this is going to cost us. I can see us losing our house over this, which just seems so unfair. One person makes a false statement and so many people can lose so much over it.

[frankgallagherwasere]

why should you lose your house unless your found guilty convicted and sentenced? Dont always believe what others say without first finding out for yourself !!

[Worried]

It's paying lawyers fees out front that's killing us at the moment and knowing it could get a lot worse yet.

[frankgallagherwasere]

So you have decided who will represent you, who will defend you !!??** Do you know who your preferred Barrister would be and will they work with the Solicitors you have chosen?

I only ask not question cos from my experience and knowledge I wouldnt trust most to get anything right, except to make a complete ballsup of anything they are supposed to be responsible for !!

Good to see your still on here and sincerely sorry if I upset you, I do take it seriously but Ive learned to laugh at life too, in a funny twisted sort of way. I understand what and how the system works and next time - appeal - I will get the last laugh cos they will all be digging their own graves and there will be no way out for any of them. Even if it means I do it all myself to stop the judicial screwing me again.

I lost my house (sort of) and a £80k job and have a 3yr sentence so yes I know what could happen and I would help anyway I could to stop it also happening to them. And now I cant insure my cars or any house so lets not go there, I know what damage these cases can do and how those against us take great pleasure in taking it all away.

[Worried]

Yes, we have an excellent lawyer. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

I've had dealing with the legal system before, so I don't have a lot of faith in any of them. I'm also a bit cynical I'm afraid.

Don't worry you didn't upset me - to be honest, I don't think anyone could upset me more than I already am! lol Sorry that you lost your home and the job. That must have been incredibly tough. You must have gone through hell. At least you are using what you have gone through to help others and I know for one I certainly appreciate everyone on these forums.

[frankgallagherwasere]

The hardest thing is not actually doing what your instincts tell you and kicking off giving the system a genuine reason for banging you up. So its a double whammy cos your trying to cope with the current situation and then the case and system that created it !!

I actually believe you need a good lawyer for the legal side and also first an analyst to build a model of the case and its SWOT templates - then you have a better understanding of how the Crown is manipulating the evidence it has or has not collected !! I do not believe Lawyers do this BUT the Police/CPS certainly do use it. It also makes it crystal clear what evidence and arguements your defence team should us/make - if they dont well you have clear evidence/proof your defence didnt do the job you expected of it !!

Too many lose their case/trial because too many lawyers wash over the issues of procedure (some completely ignore it) and only concentrate "partially" on the presentation of evidence. This leaves the Jury completely ignorant as to why and how you have been put in the dock in front of them. Juries come from middle england and the vast majority have never had dealings with the system of law - therefore (like myself) dont understand it either !! after all why should they?

[Rights Fighter]

Have you heard of "Fair Trials (Abroad)?" They might be able to help you.

http://www.fairtrials.net/need_help/

[Worried]

Thanks Right Fighter, for another excellent contact. Reading through some of those cases makes me very wary of ever travelling overseas again! Just wish my son had stayed at home!