My wife has accused me of raping her

[shaf29]

Hi Guys

I'm new on here and in desperate need of some help.

My wife and I separated in March after having a row. The day she left she called the police and acompanied by them took all her belongings from our house and moved in with her brother.

For the last 3 months she has been harrassing me by text messages firstly by saying I hit her and raped her, then when I took no notice of this, secondly by saying she missed me and wanted to get back with me. She went as far as suggesting she missed having sex with me and wanted it badly.

This monday just gone, the police came to my house and arrsested me at 8.05am. They said she has claimed I raped her on 2 separate occassions, 1 on the day she left the house (although i remember clearly we did'n have sex that day) and the 2nd time was sometime back in Nov 08.

She has claimed on one of the occssions i raped her infront of our 2 year old son, and then when he got in the way i picked him up and threw him to the other side of the room and continued raping her. She also claims I have voilently abused her for the last 2 years.

I am out on bail aving denied all these charges and have been told to go back to the police station in 6 weeks time. They have also taken my mobile phone as evidence.

I also pointed out to the police that the reason she is doing this is because her spouse visa runs out in october meaning she would have to go back to Pakistan unless I supported her application to remain in the country, or unless she was a victim of domestic voilence.

I'm so depressed and stressed I have stopped going to work, and have rang in sick.

Can someone advise what will happen, I have never been in trouble with the law for anything in my life, and these accusations are ruining my state of mind.

The police told me in the interview they beleive her as she gave graphic detail and told me i was lying.

[RFLH]

Hi Saf29. The police will say things like that, to make you admit to events that haven 't happened.

Its a bit pointless now to advise you to keep a note of messages sent to you from your wife, but from now make notes of every thing you can remember and dates. But do NOT give any of this to the police as they will no doubt pass on this informtion to her solicitor.

Have you got a decent legal representative? An ordinary one will not do.

When you got back to answer your bail, it may be that the police will add on other charges. This is done with the hopes that the more there are, the more chance they have of making anything stick.

I can understand how you're feeling, but try and get yourself into a battling mood and start defending yourself now. It will help you in the long run.

[shaf29]

thanks for the reply.

can someone please advise how i find a decent solicitor. I had a duty solictor when i was interviewed. I have asking him what he thinks, but he says that he cant do anything yet as i have not been charged, abd that we would have to wait until i go back to see if they charge me and then take it from there.

throughout the interview he did not say anything, i kept talking and talking, maybe talked a bit too much, i dont know, i've never done this before.

Can someone advise of a good solictor in the birmingham area? I have no clue. are Orivate solictors better than legal aid ones? Does this matter? I dont have a problem paying for a solictor privately, but i need someone good.

Ay recommendations please? I think I need to sort this asap. Or should I stick with the duty solictor as he was the one that accompanied me in the interview so knows exactly what happened at the interview and would have a feel for the case, although he is not telling me anything yet.

[RFLH]

No, don't tick with the duty one - they're usually a jack-of-all-trades.

I'm sure that the wise Rights Fighter will be along soon to advise you if she knows of a legal bod in the Birmingham area.

Have a good look through the threads on here as you'll pick up some very useful information from them. Make a start on writing things down too.

[Saffron]

I can't really add anything to what RFLH has said. I would only stress that you write down everything you can remember, and be as specific as possible about dates/times etc. Don't pass this info to the police but give it to your sol when you have one.
Good luck.

[Saffron]

Hi Shaf 29

just a few quick questions:
why did your wife call the police when she left you in March? and if they were there, why did she not report the "rape" there and then? Surely it would have been an ideal opportunity.
Have you kept any of the messages she sent accusing you and then saying she wanted you back? if the police have taken your phone you need to be very careful - they could feasibly "lose" any messages that she has sent to you.
If you have a good relationship with your boss, please explain the situation to him/her. that way at least your absences will be understood.

RFLH is right, you need to get yourself into a fighting mood. I know it is hard, because something like this is devastating, but you do need to be proactive and positive about any potential outcomes.

Good luck

Saffron

[RFLH]

I think she's suddenly thought of this as her visa runs out in October, the speed that these cases take to get to trial would mean that she'd be here until this time next year probably and then be allowed to stay.

I could be talking rubbish!

[shaf29]

The day she left we had a row as she wanted me to sponsor her mother over from pakistan to visit us in the uk. She threatened that if i didn'll sponser her mother she would leave me. I could not believe what she was saying and an argument started. In the end she told me to get out of the house. I left and went out. She called me and said she was leaving me. I told her it was her decision. She then phoned me and text me that she was going to hurt herself and blame it on me. I panicked and thought she would hurt herself and for this reason went back home. When i got there she had not hurt herself, but 5 mins after i got there her brother arrived. He phoned her from outside and she said she was going. She sat in his car, next thing you know he was kicking my door and threatening me. I opened the door to speak to him and when he tried to hit me i slammed the door. He kicked it again and the lock broke. He did not know this and thought the door had closed. Half an hour later they came back with police and collected her stuff. I told the police my side of what happened ans they just warned me not ro contact her.

I have alk text messages she sent me after she left, the threats, the pleading to take her back, messages where she says she wants to go to bed with me etc etc. Unfortunatley the police have my phone now. I'm worried now if you say they will lose me messages, as this is my defence.

Does this sort if thing happen?

[RFLH]

I'm not going to lie to you, people have been convicted on less - BUT that's not to say you will have the same experience.

Can I ask if yours was an arranged marriage? ( please forgive my ignorance if I'm totally wrong, I don't want to offend).

I can see a number of reasons why she should want to 'punish' you.

I hope you're keeping notes of all the things you're mentioning. Please be aware that this is a public forum, so don't put up too much detail that can be used against you.

[shaf29]

Yes it was arranged.

Can someone pls advise of any good lawyers in the birmingham area who have experience in this area. I'm totally lost and so stressed out.

[Rights Fighter]

Sorry can't stop here too long as I am doing something else but I have private messaged you the details of a sol in Moseley, Birmingham. YOu didn't say which part of Brum you are in.

[Saffron]

Shaf, not sure if this is possible (RF will know) but can you contact the police and ask to have a copy of your phone sim?
The other thing to think about is that if they have the phone and see the messages they may just realise that the allegation is malicious.
Don't want to alarm you, but Birmingham is where my husband's accusation was made and they do seem to be very zealous about prosecutions. Call that sol now.

[shaf29]

just came off the phone after talking to firm mentioned by RF. its just what i needed to talk to a specialist in this area. have booked in to see him next week. the only concern is this guy is not a solicitor but a legal executive who specialises in serious criminal cases. Whats the difference between both?

I must say though, i found him very competent and think will go with him.

By the way, before all these allegations came to surface i had booked a holiday abroad. I'm supposed to be flying next week. I dont feel like going now, but i have already paid for it. The police advised that i would be able to leave to country for this, but do u think i could have any problems at the airport. I'm going to cyprus.

Also the text messages were on the phone not sim.

I hope they dont get lost. I think once the police read them they will see this woman is capable of doing anything to get her way.

Thanks RF for the contact, my mind is at a little rest now.

[Rights Fighter]

Who did you speak to?

Often those who are in training put in the extra effort and go the extra mile to prove themselves.

On November 6th PAFAA member Mr Kaz won his appeal after it had been considered by several solicitors and CCRC after I took it on, failed at Single Judge stage, at leave to appeal hearing before the full court two judges put it through "with great hesitance" to three judges for leave to appeal and we won!

The legal exec will of course be supervised by a senior member.

I will PM you an invitation to join a specialist group.

[shaf29]

spoke to the guy you mentioned mr merchant. He advised he was a legal exec