Worried that encounter could lead to accusation.

[Namedperson1]

Hi Everyone, thanks in advance for your help.
I'll explain my situation, at the weekend I was in a hotel for work. I met an older woman at the bar who I am unlikely to ever see again. We ended up in my room and spoke, ended up kissing and then she gave me Oral. Now I just wondered because we both had a bit to drink could she cry rape? I mean she was well in to it and never in any way said no or anything like that, in fact she pulled her own trousers down in anticipation before doing the same with mine and then the oral happened, I stopped it there as it had gone too far for my liking. I never in any way forced her to do any of it, she came willingly to my room and the above happened. I am just worried because we were both drunk and this is out of character for me. Is this unfounded worry?
Thanks in advance

[worriedsickincanada]

It's possible

It's certainly possible. There are cases of false rape accusations being made when the accused rapist was hundreds of kilometers away from the alleged scene of the rape.

However, in your case? Don't worry too much. I would monitor everything if I were you.

Just some advice:

Avoid sex with women who you hardly know, who are drunk, who are high on drugs, who are mentally and emotionally unstable, who have a history of cheating and who have boyfriends/fiances/husbands.

Only have any form of sex with someone who you know very well; stranger danger. It's common advice nowadays that you shouldn't invite a hitchhiker into your car as you don't know them, so why should you invite a woman who you don't know into your motel room so that you can have sex with them?

[Namedperson1]

Any things possible

Hi,
Thanks for the reply, in what way do you mean to monitor everything? I don't know her and am unlikely to meet her so not much I can monitor. She was an older woman and seemed nice and didn't seem like a bad person. Hopefully it is unfounded worry but is there anything I wrote above that could be turned into rape? I am married with 2 kids and this was a huge mistake and just a one night stand. I have told my wife and she has accepted it was a mistake and told me to move on and don't worry about it. But the worry is making me physically ill, maybe guilt and shame playing their part also.
Thanks in advance for any replies again

[worriedsickincanada]

It's possible

I suppose you should look out for contact with the police, should they contact you about this encounter in any way, shape or form. If you are arrested, do not say anything and reserve your right to remain silent until you have an attorney/lawyer/legal aide/solicitor.

The woman who you cheated on your wife with could turn this into a false rape accusation, yes. Remember: you don't even have to be present at the time and place where an alleged rape was to have happened to get in trouble with the law.

I will reiterate my past advice:

Avoid sex with women who you hardly know, who are drunk, who are high on drugs, who are mentally and emotionally unstable, who have a history of cheating and who have boyfriends/fiances/husbands.

Only have any form of sex with someone who you know very well; stranger danger. It's common advice nowadays that you shouldn't invite a hitchhiker into your car as you don't know them, so why should you invite a woman who you don't know into your motel room so that you can have sex with them?

I'm trying to be empathetic and whatnot as I know what being worried sick and paranoid is like so this is the most I can do.

[Franticwithworry]

Hi there. While I understand that you are concerned about the possibility of a false accusation at this stage, it's too early I think to panic or even worry about the 'what-if's' just yet.

Certainly, protect yourself by making sure you recall all the details of the the encounter; write them down and put them in a safe place. Remember this though - the vast majority of sexual encounters pass without comment, much less a false accusation, and the vast majority of false accusations don't result in a charge much less a conviction.

The advice you've received already is the best possible - learn from this for the future. Casual sexual activity with someone you barely know is unwise. You can be falsely accused by relatives, people whom you think love you, for goodness sake, so protect yourself by not taking unnecessary risks. It's the opposite side of the coin that tells women to not dress provocatively or flirt too strongly to avoid being assaulted or worse. They are horrible times we live in, but common sense suggests changes in behaviour are necessary.