Social Services involvement

[SurrealLife]

Following my daughters disclosure that my husband inappropriately touched her I've been told by social services that I have to undertake a 'piece of work' that helps me understand abuse, the grooming process and the impact of abuse. I can't not undertake the work as that would end in 'legal action' but I wondered if anyone else knew what this involved. Plus I'm concerned about the reason behind me doing it. They say it's to strengthen my position as a protective parent (should my husband return home I can recognise the signs) however I wonder if it's to gain information for the prosecution? (Yes I am very cynical of everything the authorities do!)

[Broken-hearted]

I had to do the same. They have to put something in place when child is on a plan or managed at cin level as an action to address the worry/perceived danger.

It usually involves a referral in to another service to undertake the work or the social worker completing it with you. Looks as grooming behaviours, scenarios and safety plans. I did it although know it all from my role. All the way through I could give examples of grooming behaviours etc and identified how I had not seen any of these during the time that I had been with oh.

When it went to the meeting the worker said how I had a good understanding and engaged well with her. As hard as it is engage with them and the process as much as you can. I know it feels they are out to get us but all I kept in my head was that their job is to listen to the voice of the child it has to be and that is sometimes to the detriment of us as parents. They will be involved in situations like we are in whether we like it or not and have a job to do so easier to go along rather than against the grain.

Mine was always accepting of what I had to say even if she didn't agree with it as I followed what they wanted in fact I had already taken the actions to safeguard daughter (and oh) after the allegations before they even became involved. I have always maintained that I do not know what has happened and cannot see how it can have happened. I fully empathise as almost walking in the same shoes xx

[SurrealLife]

Thanks. They have been unable to tell me what the 'piece of work' will involve which I find annoying - I like knowing what I'm doing. Plus the girl who will be doing it is barely out of school!
OH says that I should just do the work, he's got nothing to hide - its the only issue SS has which is of concern.

[can it get worse]

I also had to undertake this. I had reservations about doing it due to my lack of trust in SS and found them biased. Believe the victim reigns in their eyes.

However, I fully engaged with the 'work' which was conducted over a few weeks. This was reported positively back to SS.


I fully understand your concerns - I had the same concerns. However, as you know, SS need to be sure that you are a protector of your children. Unfortunately, they must experience many mothers who do not protect their children, who put their partner first or are being controlled by their partner.

This is your chance to show them that your children are your top priority.

I hop it goes well for you.

[SurrealLife]

So despite last Summer this 'piece of work' being the most important thing ever and would have to be done by Xmas, it's not been chased by SS
Do I remind them or wait until it appears on someone's to-do list...

[can it get worse]

Hi SL

Is the 'piece of work' detrimental to you. x

[SurrealLife]

It's not detrimental to me personally, I'm happy(?) to do it - although there's not enough hours in the day as it is! Just don't know whether to chase it as it doesn't seem top priority to SS at the mo!

[can it get worse]

I'm not sure what the correct way is to go about this. SS are very good at misconstruing things and using things that are totally innocent against us.

Perhaps it would be in your interest to mention the outstanding 'work' in the next meeting with them and make sure that this is minuted.

Sending best wishes and hope you are as well as can be expected.

[Broken-hearted]

Are you on a child protection plan or child in need? I would mention it at next meeting if cin and conference if child protection as if it was in the child protection or child in need plan for that work to be completed then children's services are not following the plan. And as already suggested get it minuted that they are not adhering to plan and that you have been happy to carry out any work or assessments. And the time delay since it being said needs to be mentioned

[can it get worse]

Hi SL - are there any developments? x

[SurrealLife]

Hi there
Been a tough few weeks with trial date set and DD has gone into meltdown. No further action from SS, they keep on using the phrase 'well we can't do anything until the trial is done'
OH keeping his head up, ploughing through work, other children in desperate need of mental health involvement but didn't meet the criteria...

[SurrealLife]

Update

So apparently it's been minuted that I've declined the 'piece of work' - errrr, no...
SS record keeping at its best eh?

[hello88]

So apparently it's been minuted that I've declined the 'piece of work' - errrr, no...
SS record keeping at its best eh?

arghh social services!!! Are you having regular meetings with them?? It'll be good to work hard to get that incorrect fact changed, it'll play a big part on whether your OH will be allowed home.. i never had to do a 'course' although i heard others had to, i did throughout had to work hard in making sure that i let them know that i could spot signs of abuse, and before my husband came home i had to sit through my also 'just-out-of-school' social worker, asking me really deep personal questions without looking at me, just reading from a book.

If your social worker is being difficult about removing that information from the minutes than the family rights group (www.frg.org.uk) are really good in fighting your side when it comes to social services.

In the meantime, keep strong xxx