Just musing......

[AmandaF]

I think the point I was trying to make to the OP in question was that if you're relationship is not a particularly committed one, do you REALLY want to walk this road? And I did acknowledge that I hadn't read the OP's post on a different thread.

Rf- it was more like righteous indignation rather than being upset. I can only offer virtual tea and sympathy to those who find themselves here but you offer endless amounts of sound advice when you really have no obligation to do so

I would like to see all those affected by these issues unite in injustice but more recently it seems that those in the midst of false accusations are showing far more tolerance to those who claim to have been abused. I know so many women and young girls who will never ever disclose crimes against them. I now wonder whether with the low convictions for rape means that a large portion of them are just that- false and in turn that deters those genuinely affected.
My nephew's buddy from school is currently on remand, accused of raping his ex, an allegation he says was brought because he would not resume the relationship. My friends and family now respond to hearing or reading allegations with a shrug and a "Here we go again..........".

The "owner" of FASO asked me months ago whether I would help with the Scottish branch which I think is now defunct due to lack of volunteers. I never got back to her as I didn't feel as though I had any expertise and as a DBS check was required as mine reads like a dodgy script from East Enders I declined. However I think maybe the time has come to take up the offer as she has offered to assist with the basic legal stuff. I just don't feel as though I'm doing enough at the moment. My own campaign if you like is on hold as I am waiting to see whether my OH's lawyer has managed to find new evidence.

As for sympathy and compassion , I couldn't really do my job were I devoid of it. As a nurse on a specialist NHS unit for those suffering severe dementia and challenging behaviour I see the depths of human misery every time I walk through those doors.

As for religion I do have some faith but I would never suggest anyone turn to God in these situations, that is a purely personal choice.

the support and advice on here has been invaluable beyond words- long may we all continue in our battles.

As I have said before, I'm in S. Yorks- if anyone is in meeting distance I would be more than happy to do so. I have met one member and it was a very helpful thing to do. We even managed to have a chuckle about life!

[AmandaF]

Well, I need to let off steam just now and don't want to start a new thread.
I suppose I'm more disappointed and despondent than angry after the latest phone call from my OH.

he had a pre-release meeting today with the gestapo from the area where he was bailed. He desperately wants to live in the same city as me and mine as we are his major support network.

My sister offered to let him stay with her but the house is opposite a school, but I said to point out that my sister worked there and as we (me and grandson) stayed with her when we first relocated, he went to school there and we were all, OH included known to family support at the school.
So he duly related all this and the probation officer seemed to take that on board. Then she asked what my sister's view was and as soon as my OH said that she does not believe him to be guilty it was a case of she was no longer suitable as she would not recognize his offending behaviours!! Gutted.

The thing is my sister knows what these vile people did to me and believes in my innocence. She saw what they did to me and that is why she sees him as innocent. Plus she knows I would not stand by a guilty man. But there again we've all been groomed haven't we?

She said if my OH was to attend any family parties where my other grandkids were present they would fave to speak to my daughters about his charges.

What? Do they think they don't know? We have been nothing but honest since the day all this started.

I feel there is ni hope left now

[wakingnightmare]

I didn't want this going unanswered but I'm not in most positive frame of mind today so will keep brief.

You've all come so far you can't give up now. You've retained the custody of your Grandson, you've made a new life in a different location. This is a setback, hopefully there will be another alternative. Is there a course your sister could do to raise her awareness without saying she thinks your OH guilty?

I'm sending you all the positive vibes I can muster

WN x

[AmandaF]

Thanks WN- it is just another set back I know but with each one, it just knocks me further back down.

I didn't think about suggesting a course but I think it's already been decided that that's a no no.
I spoke to my OH's friend who he was staying with before and who is quite happy to have him to stay there for the duration. Now that's real friendship. And at least he'll only be 120 miles away, not 280 and we'll be able to speak as often as we want to.

The only positives are that the prison ss seem to be fighting his corner somewhat and he has now vowed to carry on trying to prove his innocence , rather than just accepting his fate.

I hope every single one of us in this horrible situation can find the strength to carry on.

[Rights Fighter]

You've forgotten the PAFAA SS mantra. Check it out and use it next time you need to.

Sorry don't have time to type it out as in a rush

[AmandaF]

I would have used it had they spoken to me , however from the start of this whole sorry saga nobody's interested in the thoughts or experiences of a stupid groomed female.

On the other hand they don't want any notion of innocence to be brought to their attention.
It's like the more you riddle, the deeper we sink