So it starts

[298]

The date is the 12th May 3 police from the specialist rape section arrive on my doorstep.
They show warrant cards and enter my house.

I am cautioned and the allegation of rape is first said.

I'm sick and dizzy while my house is searched and computers phones and pads are bagged and taken as evidence.

Taken into custody shoes and belt removed fingerprinted dna tested and put in a cell.

Duty solicitor gives a quick brief before the recorded questioning.

The person who I loved and supported for 3 years has decided I raped her in the first month of our relationship we split in January.

As Im self employed I'm now out of work no computer no client files no real explanation I can give to them.

I sit and cry not comprehending who someone I loved is now working to destroy me
I shake rock cover myself with a blanket nothing is comfort.

I think its the start of a difficult year as my bail is set at September

How could she lie so blatantly so unfeelingly such poison?

Today has been buying computers and phones £3k to keep up with work.

Then contacting a defence solicitor

Win or loose this will destroy me I can see me loosing everything or going to prison on a false allegation

As things progress I will update this - right now I just wanted to tell someone

[Rights Fighter]

Gosh I can feel your distress from here. I am so sorry this has happened to you, but you have come to the right place and at the right time, so you can see other people's experiences too and learn from them.

The person who I loved and supported for 3 years has decided I raped her in the first month of our relationship

Very strange that she would stay with you three years on.

Don't say too much on here, as this is a public forum and non-members can read what is here, and at this point you don't want to identify yourself of the accuser.

I am hoping that you had a duty solicitor (or a solicitor) at interview. Yes?

[jittery]

hi

The date is the 12th May 3 police from the specialist rape section arrive on my doorstep.
They show warrant cards and enter my house.

I am cautioned and the allegation of rape is first said.

I'm sick and dizzy while my house is searched and computers phones and pads are bagged and taken as evidence.

Taken into custody shoes and belt removed fingerprinted dna tested and put in a cell.

Duty solicitor gives a quick brief before the recorded questioning.

The person who I loved and supported for 3 years has decided I raped her in the first month of our relationship we split in January.

As Im self employed I'm now out of work no computer no client files no real explanation I can give to them.

I sit and cry not comprehending who someone I loved is now working to destroy me
I shake rock cover myself with a blanket nothing is comfort.

I think its the start of a difficult year as my bail is set at September

How could she lie so blatantly so unfeelingly such poison?

Today has been buying computers and phones £3k to keep up with work.

Then contacting a defence solicitor

Win or loose this will destroy me I can see me loosing everything or going to prison on a false allegation

As things progress I will update this - right now I just wanted to tell someone

Welcome to the forum. Who knows why a fa (false accuser) does what they do. We can but guess. It's quite normal from what I've read on this forum for people to, for want of a better word "go to pieces". Take heart from the fact that it doesn't appear to last long. For gods sake don't look at the net for encouragement, it just makes it worse .

Be assured this may not destroy you. Like you I'm ostensibly self employed, now this is over for me the companies I subcontract to are just impatient for me to start back.

The worst case scenario is of course the possibility of prison. I'd like to be able to tell you to banish it from your mind, but it's there. Self belief in innocence I found to be the strongest weapon. For myself, I kept that always in front of me and just tried to carry on as best I could.

I've always trained with weights since I stopped boxing and playing rugby; I found that helped and others on the forum have said they found thaty helped. Really lowers blood pressure and the flood of endorphins that are well earned is really relaxing.

Let us know how you get on. Stay strong!

[Rights Fighter]

Great answer Jits.

298 please take heart that you've come here at the right time - before conviction. Folk on here can support and offer advice to you.

Please do not be tempted to believe that paying a lot of money will make this go away. Some people on here have done that, and it didn't work. It is the choice of representation, should there be a charge, that is very important. We can help you with that.

Please also do remember, you are not on your own. Many people have walked this path that you have started upon.
There is a lot of personal experience here.

Also, if you support others, you will find that you will get more support back. This is a self-help group. We help each other.

[AmandaF]

298 I am so so sorry you have had to arrive at this forum. I can fully relate to everything you have said. One way or another you will survive, change maybe but you will get through. I'm no good with anything legal, all I can do is offer support. Jittery is right- even with this hanging over you take each day as it comes and DON'T torment yourself with google- you will get lots of advice here. It's a horrible scary situation but we've all been there.
Who knows why anyone would do these things? It's beyond anything I can comprehend.
Keep posting, let us know how you are.

[298]

impossible

I don't know anything anymore everything feels false and untrustworthy
Its like my very trust in humanity has been removed.

[298]

today

today I told my long term partner and only one love of my life that we must separate to save her any more hurt.
its the only way i can protect her.

[AmandaF]

My man told me that- but I'm still here. If she chooses to, let her stand by you, it may be what she wants. She's probably as lost as you are.

[Rights Fighter]

I know some men who won't be alone with any woman apart from the their partner or a trusted family member, certainly not around children. Some probation officers / social workers twist this "do you mean you don't trust yourself not to abuse a child again?"

Actually no. They are protecting themselves against further false allegations. And lightening can strike twice too if the 2nd accuser or their parent/cohort knew about the first lot.

I've just sent an application to the CCRC in a case where that happened. The SW told the 2nd complainant, who had staunchly supported him through the first lot, that if she continued to support her step father the neighbours wouldn't like it and might set fire to the house that she loves living in. She was also told that if she continued to support the S/F she might be taken into care and the family split it. It came as no surprise, then, two days after those threats, she made allegations against him which put him into prison.

What is astonishing is that the entire family who had supported him through the first set of allegations STILL bear his surname today. One would think they would wish to distance themselves but no, they know full well the allegations were false and that the girl was protecting her family home and unit, as she couldn't see any other way out. He still believes that the wife has not divorced him as he has never received any divorce papers to confirm it.

[AmandaF]

I had to read that several times to make sure I understood it properly! That's diabolical!! I am convinced the allegation that nailed my partner was a trawl by the SS or police. How on earth can it be proved though??

[Rights Fighter]

Hopefully the CCRC will obtain the document by the SW in that case where he admits to telling the girl what would happen if she continued to support him. I know I saw it.

[AmandaF]

Words fail me- really

[can it get worse]

I don't know anything anymore everything feels false and untrustworthy
Its like my very trust in humanity has been removed.

After our horrendous experience at the hands of a liar - this is how we still feel. It is destroying to realise that such dishonesty exists and disheartening to find out the trust that existed in the authorities has been destroyed.

Welcome to this forum but sorry you are suffering so much. By delving further in to the experiences of other members - you will realise you are far from alone in this. And your feelings are very common.

Try to stay strong (not easy) but rely on the assistance we can all try to provide.

[298]

Waiting

Nearly 6 months with nothing no information just life on hold.

I just read my first post full of naive optimism that their would be updates.

Then I guess many people reading this will smile and think me at 6 months just a novice in the wait.

So an update -

Can't get a job, certainly can't work at my profession.

So I do bits of things to make money, sell things, casual labour when it can be found; but only in places that don't ask questions.
I keep work very legal; but being very very squeaky clean legal in a grey economy is difficult and does not make it easy get re-hired.

By default I have isolated myself, I don't socialise I don't want to talk about what is in my head 24/7

Oh yes I cry a lot and don't sleep.

Against advice I do some times look on the internet; its not a good place to go if you want to stay sane.

My foundation has become the one fact I am sure about beyond all doubt, I did not rape the person who has accused me (or any other person, ever).

I keep coming back to this fact as the reason to carry on.

Whatever anybody accuses or suggests, I know, I did not.

It's my reason to carry on irrespective of whatever happens. 6 months 12 months or 10 years.

It doesn't stop my crying or wishing I knew something, but it keeps me walking past open windows.

No I don't know if it will keep working but if it doesn't then the person trying to destroy me with their lies will have won.


Sadly I know I'm not unique I guess there are others in this waiting room too, so may be this post is also my attempt at what would be a nervous nod across old magazines if it was the dentist.

We wait because there is nothing else we can do but wait.

[Arsenal12]

Sorry to read about your terrible traumatic experience..... Im in a similar situation have been on conditional bail since march...waiting in limbo....however I have children....and a divorce to deal with ontop of the False allegations...

You may of heard it 100 times but you need to keep your chin up.....yes employment is an issue....(I should know I lost my job because of FA)

Never give up....you are not alone pal....there many people on here who will support you...and offer sound advice...

Like jittery said perhaps start the gym... Or run or exercise....it really does help....relives stress albeit temporarly....

I was a complete reck at the beginning...... But like the saying goes with time.....you can become stronger...

YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS PAL.....you are innocent....

The pain will be unbearable.... But it will end

So anytime your feeling really really down we on this forum can support you....remember you are not alone....

Be prepared for the long haul....as bail...police investigations etc take forever....

I honestly wish you the best of luck...Because this is one the worst things that a human being could go through.... Just like in that BBC documentary last night the falsely accused chap cried and said he would rather be accused of murder!

Kind regards
A12