Elephant in the room

[YearsOfHell]

It's been just 8 weeks since the interview with officers, no arrest, no charge, no life!
It feels like years. We're are functioning again day in day out but almost like auto pilot.
The elephant is in the room all the time but we don't want to discuss it!
We find ourselves back on the subject and try to ignore it.
Reading this forum puts a bit of perspective on things because this could drag on for years, and we try and be grateful that he hasn't been charged yet, and hopefully common sense will prevent that!
But how long can someone live like this?
It's an awful thing to be accused of and the FA doesn't know/care how it affects ALL the family, not just the man falsely accused!
I realise things could be much worse and were trying to stay positive but really! The torture of waiting is pretty crushing! Feel like we're living under water!
Thanks for letting me rant! Really feeling for everyone on here with similar stories (and worse!)
How's everyone else coping with this?

[jittery]

hiya

It's been just 8 weeks since the interview with officers, no arrest, no charge, no life!
It feels like years. We're are functioning again day in day out but almost like auto pilot.
The elephant is in the room all the time but we don't want to discuss it!
We find ourselves back on the subject and try to ignore it.
Reading this forum puts a bit of perspective on things because this could drag on for years, and we try and be grateful that he hasn't been charged yet, and hopefully common sense will prevent that!
But how long can someone live like this?
It's an awful thing to be accused of and the FA doesn't know/care how it affects ALL the family, not just the man falsely accused!
I realise things could be much worse and were trying to stay positive but really! The torture of waiting is pretty crushing! Feel like we're living under water!
Thanks for letting me rant! Really feeling for everyone on here with similar stories (and worse!)
How's everyone else coping with this?

It's a wierd one. I for the most part am quite relaxed because I know I've done nothing wrong and the woman is lying. But it might just be a defence mechanism- I don't know. I sometimes get a bit jittery when I read things on the net and hear about changes or proposed changes to the law. The worst thing I find is that as the case drags on I find people start to get suspicious. Presumably they're thinking "if he was innocent they'd've let him go by now". They don't realise the amount of work that goes into investigating and how long the procedure takes.
My only consolation is that these false accusers will get caught out eventually, the problem is if they're an experienced liar this could take a long time. Hopefully it will be seen before the case goes to court, but even if it doesn't it would take a particular kind of person to stand by someone who has ruined someone's life out of spite. I would turn my back on my own mother if I found out she had done something like that, or I'd do my best to. In the long run they will have very unpleasant lives. No consolation in the present I know.
Here's to liars: may they be found out soon and get what they deserve!
Stay positive.

[YearsOfHell]

It's a wierd one. I for the most part am quite relaxed because I know I've done nothing wrong and the woman is lying. But it might just be a defence mechanism- I don't know. I sometimes get a bit jittery when I read things on the net and hear about changes or proposed changes to the law. The worst thing I find is that as the case drags on I find people start to get suspicious. Presumably they're thinking "if he was innocent they'd've let him go by now". They don't realise the amount of work that goes into investigating and how long the procedure takes.
My only consolation is that these false accusers will get caught out eventually, the problem is if they're an experienced liar this could take a long time. Hopefully it will be seen before the case goes to court, but even if it doesn't it would take a particular kind of person to stand by someone who has ruined someone's life out of spite. I would turn my back on my own mother if I found out she had done something like that, or I'd do my best to. In the long run they will have very unpleasant lives. No consolation in the present I know.
Here's to liars: may they be found out soon and get what they deserve!
Stay positive.

My husband feels the same way, he's done nothing wrong so there's no way he will be found guilty of it goes to court. He never had any physical contact with the woman at all. Like you tho, he has his moments of panic with innocent people being found guilty on just the complainants word only!
I am trying to be strong for all the family and its like a dark cloud all the time.
Try to push it out of our minds but it's always there!
Keep being strong, Jittery, that justice will prevail as it helps to read that we can be confident in our own innocence! Keeps us all going in the end! He's not guilty of these awful allegations!!
And yes! Liars will be found out and then watch them try and pick up the pieces!!
How anyone can do this to a family I will never fathom!

Thank you for your positivity!!!

[jittery]

Hiya

My husband feels the same way, he's done nothing wrong so there's no way he will be found guilty of it goes to court. He never had any physical contact with the woman at all. Like you tho, he has his moments of panic with innocent people being found guilty on just the complainants word only!
I am trying to be strong for all the family and its like a dark cloud all the time.
Try to push it out of our minds but it's always there!
Keep being strong, Jittery, that justice will prevail as it helps to read that we can be confident in our own innocence! Keeps us all going in the end! He's not guilty of these awful allegations!!
And yes! Liars will be found out and then watch them try and pick up the pieces!!
How anyone can do this to a family I will never fathom!

Thank you for your positivity!!!

No problem, :-). Try to stay away from the miscarriages of justice area, it's early days yet. I was in a relationship with my accuser. All I wanted to do was try to improve the quality of her life. An old man once said to me "you can't help some peolpe" how right he was! I'm sure there aren't many miscarriages of justice. My solicitor assures me of that, the problem is if my case does go to court I'll have to pay for it myself, but I'm sure any reasonably impartial jury will come to the right conclusion. Just hope it's not General Melchitt if you saw the Black Adder episode!
Keep your chins up!!