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This is not really a true legal allegation but more of a social allegation.
Recently with all the women coming forward to talk about sexual abuse (Gian Ghomeshi, Cosby) there has been a crazy uprising of female friends and hardcore feminist sort of manhunt in my community. I have a friend, she was my best friend for a couple of years but have not been as good friends in the last couple years. She has become a radical feminist always posting anti-male stuff on facebook and it bugs me. I think it is sexist. We have had a couple debates on fb privately and publicly about it. I thought it was safe thing to do since this is what everyone is talking about.
She became part of a group of women who had a community meeting where women shared stories of assault and men were to stay silent and listen. I didn't attend the meeting because i know as many men who have been sexually assaulted and i don't think it should be a gender thing.
A week later she sends me an email talking about this night we had three years ago, where we went out dancing together, kissed all night. She says she doesn't remember the night well because she got so drunk, but the way she describes it i jumped her in the morning and had sex with her. Then she goes on to re-accuse me of all these things, touching a breast here, making negative comments about women there. She really knows me well so it was kinda awful to hear all these things. she wanted to have another meeting where i would attend, so i could really hear how hard it is to be a woman.
I immediately wrote her back to inform her that we had sex all night, which was true. I apologized for the misunderstanding and hoped we could resolve it as soon as possible. And i wanted to speak with her in person since she had pretty much described someone of her imagination, calling me MRA and all this complete insanity. She said no she couldn't talk to me, she was too upset i just had to come to the meeting. Then she went on to accuse me of a bunch more stuff, all pretty harmless, i am a flirt i admit but i do not assault women. But she talks about seeing me with drunk women and what am i going to do with them, and how i made this girl uncomfortable and squeezed this girls thigh. all pretty high school accept for her own charge of non-consentual sex.
After i told her we had sex the night before she made the story even worse, saying i jumped her, i had sex with her for five minutes while she lied there silent. It's all like some story out of a horror movie and nothing to do with me. But she has been talking to a lot of my Friends and community. She is very popular and a bit of a leader with all the young radfem artist and it has been three weeks now and this is all i can think about. I am like a zombie, i left my city for a couple months, luckily i got a job overseas but i am beside myself. I don't know what to do.
I know this is for people who are dealing with something far worse, police and jail and courts but i just can't take people thinking of me like this. A female friend i spoke to said things and believed my accuser in a way that i can't really continue to be friends with her. So undignifying, I am thinking of moving, changing my life, i don't know how to get through it. I didn't answer the second email, my good friends say to just ignore her but she is on the hunt and i am her prey, she wants me to suffer public humiliation as if i am not already.
the thing is i know a lot of stuff about her. I have heard stories of her turning casual sex accounters into rape fantasies and freaking out the guy, I heard she punched a friend in the face without consent during a sex encounter. I have both those witnesses if she escalates the issue. and we actually had sex a couple times before and she was very angry with me to get me to have sex with her the first time, i couldn't keep it up. I know all this stuff that would put her allegations on me to shame but i am afraid because public opinion is not in favour of men. and if i make her angry she might really screw up my life.
just looking for help and opinions
Recently with all the women coming forward to talk about sexual abuse (Gian Ghomeshi, Cosby) there has been a crazy uprising of female friends and hardcore feminist sort of manhunt in my community. I have a friend, she was my best friend for a couple of years but have not been as good friends in the last couple years. She has become a radical feminist always posting anti-male stuff on facebook and it bugs me. I think it is sexist. We have had a couple debates on fb privately and publicly about it. I thought it was safe thing to do since this is what everyone is talking about.
She became part of a group of women who had a community meeting where women shared stories of assault and men were to stay silent and listen. I didn't attend the meeting because i know as many men who have been sexually assaulted and i don't think it should be a gender thing.
A week later she sends me an email talking about this night we had three years ago, where we went out dancing together, kissed all night. She says she doesn't remember the night well because she got so drunk, but the way she describes it i jumped her in the morning and had sex with her. Then she goes on to re-accuse me of all these things, touching a breast here, making negative comments about women there. She really knows me well so it was kinda awful to hear all these things. she wanted to have another meeting where i would attend, so i could really hear how hard it is to be a woman.
I immediately wrote her back to inform her that we had sex all night, which was true. I apologized for the misunderstanding and hoped we could resolve it as soon as possible. And i wanted to speak with her in person since she had pretty much described someone of her imagination, calling me MRA and all this complete insanity. She said no she couldn't talk to me, she was too upset i just had to come to the meeting. Then she went on to accuse me of a bunch more stuff, all pretty harmless, i am a flirt i admit but i do not assault women. But she talks about seeing me with drunk women and what am i going to do with them, and how i made this girl uncomfortable and squeezed this girls thigh. all pretty high school accept for her own charge of non-consentual sex.
After i told her we had sex the night before she made the story even worse, saying i jumped her, i had sex with her for five minutes while she lied there silent. It's all like some story out of a horror movie and nothing to do with me. But she has been talking to a lot of my Friends and community. She is very popular and a bit of a leader with all the young radfem artist and it has been three weeks now and this is all i can think about. I am like a zombie, i left my city for a couple months, luckily i got a job overseas but i am beside myself. I don't know what to do.
I know this is for people who are dealing with something far worse, police and jail and courts but i just can't take people thinking of me like this. A female friend i spoke to said things and believed my accuser in a way that i can't really continue to be friends with her. So undignifying, I am thinking of moving, changing my life, i don't know how to get through it. I didn't answer the second email, my good friends say to just ignore her but she is on the hunt and i am her prey, she wants me to suffer public humiliation as if i am not already.
the thing is i know a lot of stuff about her. I have heard stories of her turning casual sex accounters into rape fantasies and freaking out the guy, I heard she punched a friend in the face without consent during a sex encounter. I have both those witnesses if she escalates the issue. and we actually had sex a couple times before and she was very angry with me to get me to have sex with her the first time, i couldn't keep it up. I know all this stuff that would put her allegations on me to shame but i am afraid because public opinion is not in favour of men. and if i make her angry she might really screw up my life.
just looking for help and opinions
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