Malicious allegations of historic child sex abuse by 14 yold daughter

[FedUpMum]

I apologise in advance if I'm posting this in the wrong place - feel free to move if needed.

Firstly, having spent the last 3 days at our wits end, it's such a relief to have found this website!

This is a long and complicated story, so I shall try to explain things as best as I can. Any advice would be greatly appreciated before I go for plan B and plot our escape from the country.

Hubby and I have been married for 15 years and have two daughters, DD1 who is 15 and DD2 who is 14. In September 2012 we hd to place DD2 into care temporarily with Social Services due to her behaviour - self-harming, anorexic, suicidal, causing problems at school etc. We initially thought it would be for a week at the most while we got some help for her. She was already being seen by CAMHS (Children and Adolescent Mental Health Services) who were supporting her with the self harm and food issues.

Two years on, and she has been in temporary foster care and then 3 different childrens homes. She has been excluded from 2 schools due to violence against staff. In the time that she has been in care, she has gone missing on numerous occaisions, getting drunk with other kids in the home, meeting strangers for sex etc. She has also told Social Services all sorts of lies about us, such as we regularly do lines of coke on the coffee table, she knows who we deal drugs to etc. She has also told them that she has been raped by an Uncle and another rape by a friend of her sister.

Since she went into care, we have spent 2 years trying desperately to get someone to listen to us - we are convinced that she has a mental illness but no-one is willing to diagnose her with anything because CAMHS feel it unfair to 'label' a child of her age as having a mental illness. All well and good, but without a diagnosis she can't get the medication or treatment that she needs to help her feel better. Meanwhile, Social Services have slowly erradicated all forms of contact with her - we no longer have phone contact or visits, although we can call the home for updates.

A few months ago, she told staff at the home that she was hearing voices. Finally, 4 weeks ago, she ended up being sectioned under the Mental Health Act and taken to a secure mental health hospital. We haven't seen her since May of this year, but we do occaisionally get to speak to her when she phones us (although Social Services have told her not to have phone contact with us, which is probably why she calls!). Her Social Worker called me last week to say that she had been telling staff that she has been sectioned before, but they knew that this wasn't true although they found it difficult to distinguish between fact and fiction with her because she was so 'convincing' - SW's words, not mine.

Then, the latest bombshell was delivered on Tuesday when a Social Worker turned up unannounced to tell me that she had now made an allegation that my husband (her father) had been sexually abusing her for the last 10 years. Hubby was out at the time - he has severe depression - and so when he returned home at 7:15pm I had to tell him the latest news. Two hours later and he went missing, so I had to report him missing to the police as I felt he was suicidal and in danger of killing himself. The following morning, 2 social workers arrived at our house to advise that they were now going to do a child protection conference and that, basically, they are now looking at taking our DD1 into care too. Apparently, DD2 has told them that she does NOT wish to make a formal complaint and has refused to talk to the police. As a result, the police haven't taken any action, as yet, and hopefully this will remain to be the case. (She has done exactly the same in both previous allegations of a sexual abuse nature).

My questions is this - what on earth do we do now? DD1 has told SS that there is absolutely no way on earth that her father is guilty of any abuse against either of them, DD2 is refusing to make a complaint and has told me on the phone this week that she never made any allegations of the sort - I'd love to believe her, but frankly she's a compulsive liar and I wouldn't trust her to look after a dead houseplant, never mind tell the truth). We've already resigned ourselves to the fact that she's never likely to come home after being in care for so long, so why does she feel the need to continue spouting these vicious lies?

How on earth is Hubby supposed to clear his name? He wants to take the matter further, to either force her into justifying her accusations or to admit that its all a lie, but I don't see how this can happen as its unlikely that SS will allow us to have in-person contact with her again. Has anyone else been falsely accused of historic csa by their own child? How can he clear his name from this sort of accusation?

Quite frankly, the only thing keeping me even close to being sane is my belief that she is truly mentally ill. I cannot believe that anyone could ever make such malicious and heartbreaking allegations against their own parent if they were of sound mind.

I'm sorry this has been such a long saga but thank you for reading my rant and I hope that someone can share some words of wisdom.

[wings]

What a horrible situation for you, Having had experience with mental illness for all of my life (my mother suffers from schizo defective disorder) let me first assure you that it is very unlikely that your daughter will be doing this for any malicious or vindictive reasons and in a lot of cases (as with my mother) she may not even remember saying the things she had said, it is often hard to remember that when dealing with people with mental health problems that they really cannot be held responsible for their actions and whilst it is difficult to forgive them (trust me I know) that is what you must endeavour to do. I shan't give you legal advice as I am far from qualified to do so.

I shall however say that when a false accusation of rape was made against myself the things that kept me going were my family and friends but most importantly my unshakable belief that I had done nothing wrong (I repeated to myself as a mantra)

Please try to not be disheartened by your daughters behaviour, in all probability she can't help it.
What is worrying is the reaction of the SS as outlined in your post, I shall leave someone more knowledgeable than I to discuss that point though.
You have my support from someone who had dealt with both mental illness and a FA and i am also a youth worker who on occasion works with troubled young people let me say if you ever need my advice or help just ask
Yours
Dave

[Casehardened]

Hello and welcome to the forum,

(will leave your thread where it is at the moment as, fortunately, your husband has not been formally accused)

On a personal note you have my utmost sympathy, having gone through a much less extreme scenario, it is patently obvious that DD2's accusation is the latest manifestation of her seeking attention.

An a practical note, if the accusation is formalised and your husband is invited for an interview please stress he must have a specialist defence solicitor sit in on it; the duty one may or may not be suitable.

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors

Incidentally I consider that DD1's complete exoneration of her father to be highly significant as she is mature enough to give a coherent statement.

[FedUpMum]

Thank you so much for your replies.

It's so frustrating, because every time she's made allegations of rape, she's never wanted to make a complaint or talk to anyone about it. And each allegation has been made to different people - the first was the foster carers, then another child in the home, and more recently (with this one) to a member of staff on the hospital ward, so she's never made the allegations directly to a member of social services.

Social services were convinced that we were the worst parents on the planet to start with because, basically, why else would she be saying all these horrible things about us when our DD1 says totally the opposite. They're looking for a reason to justify why she doesn't want to be at home, and all these allegations just fuel their belief. The fact that she's now in a secure mental health hospital is irrelevant to them. As it is, the hospital are treating her for PTSD, which Social Services is a result of her 'experiences' - and they've made it quite clear that they believe the experiences to have happened when she was living at home with us. (The fact is, that since she's been in care her behaviour has deteriorated further and she's had sex with quite a few different men, all of whom have been a LOT older than herself). Social Services so far refuse to accept that the PTSD could be a result of her experiences while she has been in care.

I am truly beginning to feel that our only option is to quite literally leave the country to get away from them. We accept that she's not likely to come home, so we need to protect DD1 from being taken away - which would be totally against her wishes. She's very supportive of us as parents and is also of the belief that her sister is mentally ill. Besides, she'll be 18 in 3 years, so we'd only have to disappear for a few years and then she'd be safe.

Meanwhile, Hubby will never be 'cleared' because how can he prove that it's a malicious lie? How can he prove that he's never touched either of them inappropriately? The poor man is verging on suicide because he thinks it's the only way to stop it all. Thankfully family (the ones that know about it) have also been very supportive, so he's not on his own, and I believe 1000% that he's totally innocent.

[Rights Fighter]

Looking at your profile it seems that I can email you. I will try - please check your junk/spam boxes as sometimes emails from this domain end up there.

You need specialist advice with regards to SS and the family courts. I know just the person to help you.

[Casehardened]

so we'd only have to disappear for a few years and then she'd be safe.

Meanwhile, Hubby will never be 'cleared' because how can he prove that it's a malicious lie? How can he prove that he's never touched either of them inappropriately?

I can completely understand your reasons your reasons for wanting to get away from this flood of unfounded accusations but playing devil's advocate for a moment can I put forward a possible scenario (but please note I am assuming the worst possible outcome and it may never get to this stage)

I know of someone accused of a sexual offence who went abroad to Bulgaria; he was tried and convicted in his absence & arrested at the airport when he eventually returned & is now serving his sentence.

I have no idea whether he was in fact guilty of the allegation or not or how strong the evidence against him was, however I can surmise what the jurists thought of the reason for his absence from his trial and what influence this had on their decision.

Unfortunately for a historic allegation emanating from within the family it is almost impossible to prove it couldn't have happened but fortunately the decision as whether it did or didn't will be down to 12 jurists, ordinary folk like you or I. If the facts as you have written are presented to the jury they are going to be very doubtful about the truthfulness of the main prosecution witness, DD2, and from what you have told us about her she is hardly likely to stand up to cross-examination from a defence barrister regarding her allegations.

The CPS would undoubtedly take her mental state into consideration should the matter ever be referred to them which is why I am doubtful it will go any further.

[Rights Fighter]

Thanks for your email hon. I have replied and sent you some helpful links as your case echos other cases.