Trial date changed.

[can it get worse]

My husband appeared in court this week and his trial has now been delayed for another 4 months. This is because CPS are struggling with resources so are unable to provide all the information within the timescale they were given!!

We still feel powerless to start the fight as we have yet to receive all the 'evidence'. What a game they play!!

Obviously, no regard is given to my family. Our lives are on hold, our children are growing, it is painful every minute of every day to experience this horror and uncertainty. Even if this ends next year with a NG, we will be scarred by the whole shocking experience. The system is against us and now our last chance of hope is a jury (and of course our defence team who are saviours)

[myhome]

so sorry to hear this - the waiting is so hard to bear....

[can it get worse]

so sorry to hear this - the waiting is so hard to bear....

Yes it is horrible. we have had a lovely day today - keeping occupied and sharing time all together. But the feeling of anxiousness and worry is a constant. It never seems to get easier. In fact as the trial gets closer - it will get worse. It all seems so weak but then scary that a conviction can result merely from one person's word.

Just cannot believe that there are such horrid people that can make false allegations.

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi CIGW - glad you've had a good day, but sorry you're feeling so low about the trial being postponed. On a ositive note, it does keep it away from the festive period and give your hubby a bit more time to prepare. My son's trial was in January this year and our Christmas was ... well I can't pretend it wasn't, especially as he was in denial till right up to the end. I found as the time came round, though things became easier... it became a reality and we had to get on with it.

Make the most of the good times, that'll build up your strength and moral for the really tough bit which will be the trial. It is incredibly tough and draining, but there's nothing anywhere that says you're not allowed to enjoy yourselves and your children.

I hope you have a really lovely Christmas with your husband and children.

[can it get worse]

Thank you WGO - very wise words that I appreciate.
Your Christmas last year must have been the worst ever - But it must be comforting now that it is all over and the whole mess is behind you. I guess this Christmas must be fantastic for you all, if only to make us realise what's really important in life.

No-one can begin to know (unless you are affected by a FA) how this feels. We have been living like this for more than a year now and although we have adapted (no choice), it does not get easier. In fact as we learn about the behaviour of the authorities, it becomes more scary. We were naive at the beginning and did feel it would go nowhere. How wrong we were!

Wishing you a lovely Christmas.

[whatsgoingon?]

Thanks CIGW - my happiness is a quiet happiness which I'm only just beginning to rediscover, because alot of damage was done and the wounds are not completely healed. One of the things which I fear is irreparable is something you've evoked - our trust in the people who are presumed to uphold the law and protect people against crime. Sadly, we, like you, have seen a completely different and quite shocking side to them.

Every moment you can enjoy, every ray of sunshine, any little thing you can laugh about, any feeling of relaxation will help you through this, but you have to make it possible. Have you thought of asking Santa for your favourite funny film set or radio recordings? Don't laugh but we spent most of last year's Christmas week watching Father Ted and that really helped to get our minds off things.

One brilliant thing a therapist said to me early on was ... 'Have you thought about when you come out of the other side of this ? Because there will be another side'

I put up a link about 'gratefulness ' you might like to look at. It's impossible to be grateful for the position you find yourself, but the enthusiasm with which he speaks about it is fantastic, and at this point ANYTHING (well most things) that can lift your moral is good.

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...d-Steindl-Rast

I hope you have a wonderful family Christmas together.

[smokiejo]

Stay strong and try and enjoy christmas xx

[can it get worse]

Trial approaching

I have not been posting on my threads recently as nothing much to say apart the usual emotional rollercoaster this is causing.

Trial is fast approaching. Yuk.

CPS have drip fed us the information. I will never understand this. It would be much quicker to photocopy the whole lot so I'm sure these are tactical moves in their quest for convictions.

They have still not submitted a large amount and failed to address the numerous requests from our solicitor. However last week they have finally agreed to provide it!! They have had this since last summer. It is disgraceful that this is how the justice system works.

I can only deduce that this is their way of trying to 'win' their cases. That providing this last large piece to our jigsaw will cast large doubts on the reliability of our liar.

Fortunately, we have defence team who are ready to deal with their tactics and commence court proceedings to ensure the info is provided.

I look back on the horrendous time we have had to endure. The involvement of social services makes it even more unbearable. Our ability to function normally has truly been tested. But the love towards our children has helped us get through this. We have protected them throughout this journey and they have remained confident and happy.

However underneath this pretence of being happy in front of the children we are traumatised by this experience. The deep stress and pressure that a person who is falsely accused is awful. I cannot imagine how I'm going to get through the next few weeks. I'm constantly in a feeling of panic and worry.

But we have come this far and the end is very near. We have no options but to get on with it, prepare for battle and hopefully this crazy, attention seeking liar is going to get totally exterminated!

[Casehardened]

Dear CIGW,

You have been so helpful and supportive towards others during the time you have been bearing your own cross; you will get this back in spades as we will all be beaming positive thoughts in your direction when the time comes

[thisisinsane]

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. It is even harder when children are involved but you and your other half have done a fantastic job on your kids which is why i have even greater respect for you than i already had. We have not been talking before but the many positive messages I've read from you have helped me cope as well and given me strength.

[can it get worse]

CH - Thank you for your words of kindness.

I am scared of the outcome. And the possibility of having to tell our children that they are not going to see their dad for some time. And the effects it will have on the whole extended family. And the financial situation doesn't bear thinking about.

However, when examining it rationally - the only evidence she has is her 'word'. Will that convince the jury? She has a track records of lies, she is unreliable and we have many explanations why her allegations could not have taken place.

TII - Thank you for your support - I appreciate it very much. What we have gone through for nearly 2 years is shocking. I am so sad that others have to endure the same. I struggle to comprehend that a human can inflict this on others.

[Casehardened]

However, when examining it rationally - the only evidence she has is her 'word'. Will that convince the jury? She has a track records of lies, she is unreliable and we have many explanations why her allegations could not have taken place.

The jury won't be as aware of the background to the allegations as you are, they will only know of what is brought out in court. Hopefully your defence will highlight the inconsistencies but being human beings they will also form an opinion of the witnesses that they see giving evidence.

In the Useful Information section of the forum (and possibly elsewhere) is some advice on making the best impression on the jury when giving evidence; it might be as well to get your husband to look at this and also to consider all the questions that might come up in cross-examination in order that he can make positive responses without too much hesitation.

[can it get worse]

Thank you CH for your advice. I will have a look at the information that you have suggested.

It is scary to think it could be swayed based upon who comes across best. We can only pray that that the pendulum is swinging in our direction. Hopefully, her failure to lie convincingly will be her ruin. And that our barrister will run rings round her.

Had a better day today - been busy. But not sure if I'm just trying to brush things under the carpet in order to pretend it is not happening. Then real life kicks in again and I am panicked.

[phoenix2014]

Hope you get the right outcome,sending very best wishes your way,good luck. x

[scaredgirl]

sending you all the very best wishes, stay strong,really hoping for a positive outcome for you.