It Really Is A Small World Afterall

[accused1234]

Hi all,

I recently bumped into my partner who has falsely accused me of rape. I was walking and my partner was in a car with her mother stuck in traffic. I saw them and they saw me. They had their heads down as I approached. There was a million and one things I would love to have said but I carried on casually walking with a smile on my face.

In reality I am far from smiling. It bothers me that they can get on with their lives as if nothing has happened whereas my life has been absolutely shattered. I called the officer in charge to let her know that I saw my partner and that I did not confront them or communicated in any form. It was coincidental situation and I had not breached my bail conditions. I did this as a precaution as it wouldn't surprise me if they made a big deal out of it and made another allegation that I had broken my bail conditions.

12th of May was when I was accused of this horrendous crime. I have got 6 more anguish weeks till my bail date. 6 more weeks being an insomniac, 6 more weeks my life is on hold, 6 more weeks in hell.

[is there justice?]

Hi A1234

Must have made you feel sick to your stomach. Keep your head up though and wait for the truth to come out. I hope it is dealt with quickly .

[can it get worse]

Hi A1234,

Sorry to hear your situation. Yes the waiting is awful.............. the sleeping is awful.....everything in life is affected by this. Try to stay occupied. It does take your mind off it for moments. Yes, the mind still goes back to it and it feels like a living nightmare. Stay strong & I wish you peace in readiness for a successful outcome for you. However, please try to be prepared for a re-bail.

[myhome]

Hi A1234 - well done you for not reacting to bumping into FA....
the waiting is awful. try to have activities planned for each day, the evening before so that you never wake up with the "What on earth am I going to do to-day?" feeling.....time always passes more quickly when you are busy......keep strong.....

[whatsgoingon?]

Well done - you dealt with the situation really well. Like MH says, keep busy. Sport or excercise is so good for you and if you're in a beautiful space etc countryside or local park to do it, even better.

Keep well

[accused1234]

Hi all, thank you for all your support. It really does help a lot. I have been trying to keep active. I go gym, visit the park regularly and managed to voluntary teach at an independent school. It all helps to a certain extent but I can't stop thinking about my case. The only real relief I have is that I am innocent but that doesn't help in this situation.

[myhome]

It all helps to a certain extent but I can't stop thinking about my case.

Hi - there's a couple of things you can try to get this out of your head for a time each day....

Try allocating a place in your home/garden/garage/shed - somewhere you don't go very often usually. This place is where you can go to think and worry about everything. Have a notebook and pen so you can write down the things you want to think about or questions you want to ask or things that are bothering you....Only stay for about half an hour. At the end of that time get up and leave and shut the door firmly behind you. If thoughts about the case intrude during the day, you can go back in the room to write them down. This means that all other rooms in your house are free from worrying thoughts.

To add to this, you could allocate a particular time of day when you do this, so that if you start thinking about the case in the "wrong room" at the "wrong time" you can tell yourself that the thoughts will have to wait until the next allocated time.... It may sound a bit odd to be talking to your thoughts and telling them they'll have to wait, () but it does work and with practice, it works very quickly...

If this doesn't work, try some Distraction Techniques - singing a song (out loud or in your head); whistling; vigorous activity; reciting poetry; silent scream etc and keep doing it until the thoughts can't intrude any more....

Hope this helps.....

[accused1234]

Thank you MH, it is very much appreciated. I will try to implement those techniques.

[ohdear]

good advice :-)
hope it goes well for you op