We're considering closing this forum and would appreciate your thoughts, memories, comments etc, and especially any offers of help if you'd like the forum to stay running.
You may read the posts but if you wish to post yourself, then you need to register. This is simple and you just need a valid email address.
Register Here
We look forward to seeing you posting soon!
If you have already registered, but have forgotten your password, please click here to get it reset.
On the whole I think this is a great letter and I hope lots of people read it and maybe it will make someone think before they make an allegation that could ruin someone's life. One thing I disagree with is this part:
You know what could happen if you agree to go along with a man to either your place or his, alone. Wrong or right there has always been an ethos that to do so means you are both “up for it”
If you don’t know this then perhaps you should accept that you are not responsible enough to be out there in the grown up world at all.
While going home with someone does imply you want to have sex it does not mean that if you change your mind for whatever reason it is ok for a man to go ahead and have sex with you anyway. That is rape and any man who does that deserves to be reported and punished.
"I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)
On the whole I think this is a great letter and I hope lots of people read it and maybe it will make someone think before they make an allegation that could ruin someone's life. One thing I disagree with is this part:
While going home with someone does imply you want to have sex it does not mean that if you change your mind for whatever reason it is ok for a man to go ahead and have sex with you anyway. That is rape and any man who does that deserves to be reported and punished.
I respect and accept your point Friday but, I feel that it would be much safer to not be in that position
anyway, Its unfair to raise someones expectations and then say no, so for me not going home with someone would be more acceptable. Thank You for your imput !! LP
Not going home with someone you're not sure you want to end up in bed with sounds reasonable to me. As does not getting so rat-arsed that you can't make a sensible decision or one you might regret.
I do think that people need to take responsibility (and be held responsible) for their own actions and behaviour.
A bit like driving in tricky conditions, best to stay on the safe side no matter what the law says.
Last edited by whatsgoingon?; 8 March 2013, 11:33 PM.
Lonely place said: Think on whilst you are shouting out your feminist spiel about the rights of women to do as they wish and act as they like with no consequences. You have a responsibility for yourself when you are out and about enjoying you life …You have to accept that this world is a dangerous place and that you will make decisions you will later regret….That’s life after all.
Yes you have the right to drink to excess and wear your skimpy clothes and act like an idiot. Yes if you really want you can collapse in the gutter with no control of yourself. Feel free if that’s what floats your boat.
What you can’t do is make the decision to go home with the man you have “pulled” for a few more drinks and sex ..or let one thing lead to another ending up in bed……. then cry rape. You know what could happen if you agree to go along with a man to either your place or his, alone. Wrong or right there has always been an ethos that to do so means you are both “up for it” If you don’t know this then perhaps you should accept that you are not responsible enough to be out there in the grown up world at all.
Not going home with someone you're not sure you want to end up in bed with sounds reasonable to me. As does not getting so rat-arsed that you can't make a sensible decision or one you might regret. I do think that people need to take responsibility (and be held responsible) for their own actions and behaviour.
A bit like driving in tricky conditions, best to stay on the safe side no matter what the law says.
Well said.
I made the same points on here not long ago and ended up getting told off by the forum owner! One person on this forum made a complaint about my post and on that one complaint (because they couldn't be bothered to discuss it with me before making a complaint) I left this forum for several weeks. If Faith had not been put 'in charge' I would not have returned.
I agree that personal responsibility is a huge factor in these cases. I know that it is more politically correct to say otherwise but the reality is quite the opposite.
People are of course welcome to disagree with this point of view but all opinions are respected and welcomed here x
Comment