Help needed

[just married]

hurtandashamed, welcome to the forum, and sorry to hear of the circumstances that have led you here.
After you were released by the police, were you conditionally bailed to return to the police station at a future date?

[hurtandshamed]

yea I have to return in two weeks. But I am hoping that this is for real. I have to believe it. I cant handle the other. Surley he would not be able to tell me that if it was not true?

[Faith]

It's as Saffron says; while it sounds hopeful, take nothing for granted until the decision is made.
Generally, the decision doesn't rest with the officer but with the CPS.

[IvorBinWronged]

hope it's good news...

spoke to police today and they said that they were not supposed to tell me this yet but they could see how hurt I was. They don't give a **** about how hurt you are.


They said that the DS Sarg had decided not to pursue the case. He said that they had looked at the evidence and they were almost sure that no charges would be brought. She has probably told them that it was consensual - bet plod are gutted!

Does that mean that she has been caught out? Lol. Plod have been caughht out!

Would they ever say this as a lie because they think i am gonna do something stupid? You did do something stupid, you trusted plod!

I would not BTW. I'm sure that many have said that initially and have very sadly have been proven otherwise.

With the above said - make sure you read as much of this site as possible now.

Oh and get that DS's name off this thread asap!

Good luck.

[just married]

I would suggest don't contact the police any further. Their job is to be impartal. If this woman has made an allegation against you, she will have been interviewed by the police. Now you too have been interviewed (arrested, processed, and under caution.. this is normal), to tell your side of the story.

During this time, while you wait the 2 weeks to return to the police station to answer bail, they are most likely re-interviewing her, and saying, 'look, this is what he says'.... The very best you can hope for, unless she retracts whatever allegation she has made, is to be issued with a NFA (no further action) notice.

The likelihood is that you may be re-bailed for a further period of time, usually six weeks, whilst further 'investigation' continues, or be re-interviewed. If you have been arrested, had your dna, fingerprints and photograph taken by the police, the case will be referred to the CPS, who will assess it on their 51% rule: if they think there might be, with whatever information they have, a 51% chance of it being in the public interest to charge you and subsequently prosecute you, then they will. It isn't the decision of your local police whether or not to take this matter further.

You need to have a solicitor... ideally a specialist in rape allegations.... other members can help here if you tell us what area (county) of the country you are in.
You definitely need a solicitor with you when you return to answer bail. In the event you don't have a sol helping you, the duty solicitor at the police station needs to be with you if the police further interview you when you return.

During this horribly frightening, confusing, frustrating and painful time, remember to breathe, eat, sleep, excercise, see family, trusted friends. When I was first accused, I shared the facts with just four of my closest friends. Those friends stood by me throughout my ordeal, and I couldn't have coped without them

See your doctor if the pain becomes unbearable. You may be pleasantly surprised by quite how understanding medical professionals can be to your situation. Your doctor can refer you for counselling, helpful to talk to someone, on a weekly basis, to share your thoughts and feelings.

While you are waiting, write down every tiniest little fact ..... everything you can remember to help defend yourself from the accusation.... This is the important stuff. Should the case proceed, and you be charged, your solicitor is going to need as much detail as you can provide.

Sorry if this sounds harsh....but it's important to prepare yourself for anything. Unless she actually instigated the sex, the view is that a woman who is drunk is legally unable to give consent.

[Saffron]

Thank you JM for such balanced, kind advice.

[Boys don't cry]

I take off my hat to Whatsgoingon and JM for their posts in your thread Hurtandshamed.

[just married]

[QUOTE=whatsgoingon?;35501] As is the ability to get to stay in Britian if she's not British or from an EU country.
[QUOTE]

Hi whatsgoingon, and well done for your sound advice on this thread.
I wasn't aware of this..... do you have any more details about this.... it may influence my situation, (NFAd in June last year.) Pm. me if you would... ?

JM

[IvorBinWronged]

retraction...

Drunken car park sex sounds great - what party-poopers the lawmakers are...

Good luck.

Sorry, no. Not with HIV and other diseases running rife amongst those groups.

It was wrong of me to big-up risky behaviour like that.

It reads like fun - that's what I meant.