Help needed

[hurtandshamed]

What do you do if you are falsely accused of rape? The fear that is driven into you as you are accused of the worst of crimes.
Ok so here is the situation,

I run a community group designed to better peoples friend groups. Its a free group and we have around 600 members. It is not a sex group or a dating group just a friends club if you like.

A night out is arranged with 8 people and one of the m,embers brings a stranger to the group. All is fine but she is quite drunk at the start and starts to flirt, touch and kiss other m,embers. She even shows people picture of her naked involved in sexual; acts with others on her phone.

This results in people asking to go to a club so we all leave and she come also. This is not an issue as people feel she is just a bit eccentric. After half an hour at the club we both spoke and agreed to leave the club and have sex. We walked together for about three mins to a car park where it took place. I said to her if you would like to have sex come with me and entered the car park alone and she followed. she also deff said I want you now so we did.

We then walked back to the club where she was holding my are and went to go in

The door staff will not let her in as they say that she is too drunk but is able to stand and act normally just a bit drunk. I go into the club to get her friend. when we come out she is with the police as she wants to go home. She is not talking about the alleged indecent just that she is wanting to go home. the Police ask me if we are ok to take her home. We all sit with her as she tries to tell police where she lives with little success. I tell the police that I want to go home now and we leave after making sure that she is with them and safe and ok to get home. The next day I am contacted by the police and charged with rape. I am scared and feel like a shell. I cant eat and have no idea what to expect and just want to run away. Please help with advice and tips and with what will happen.


I am worried that this will all be opened up in court and people will presume that I am guilty. Will the CPS deff look to take it further and when if ever does the case get dropped.

[RFLH]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I have moved your post to a new thread of your own so that people can answer you, rather than using the other posters thread.

[hurtandshamed]

thanks

thanks i am new at this and bit shaken up by the whole thing

[myhome]

Hi hurtandashamed

Welcome to the forum. You are in a horrible situation but you have found a good site here. There's lots of help, advice and support to be found - practical, legal and emotional. Ask questions and people will answer you honestly. I've only been here about 4 weeks but have found it a godsend and have found strength and learnt a great deal here which I didn't know before I was FA...

myhome

[hurtandshamed]

I am so shocked that it has even got this far. My whole life has been turned upside down. I am worried I will be charged despite not being guilty. When do they take your side over consent? when theirs its so hazy

[whatisthis]

I am so shocked that it has even got this far. My whole life has been turned upside down. I am worried I will be charged despite not being guilty. When do they take your side over consent? when theirs its so hazy

hi I am sorry to hear you have to go through this but you need to calm down
did police have interviewed you
if yes, did you had duty solicitor present with you
if not interviewed then arrange a specialist solicitor tomorrow to accompany you
you could look at the specialist solicitors post to find one specialist solicitor
do not speak to police about anything without your solicitors advice and give your phone laptop pics and other evidence which you think could help you give it to your solicitor to keep it safe with him
don't trust police they are not on your side they will use every thing against you
other members will be here to advise you further accordingly but try to
hope this helps

[hurtandshamed]

I have been arrested and interviewed under caution. I gave a dna sample and was held for 8 hours. I told them the whole story, the whole truth. This was 5 days ago and they have not told me anything yet. They also have not contacted any witnesses to the night. They have taken CCTV from the club and a statement from one bouncer. I have called for info but they said there was none yet. Will it deff go to court? as we did have sex will they just take this as rape?

[whatsgoingon?]

I am so shocked that it has even got this far. My whole life has been turned upside down. I am worried I will be charged despite not being guilty. When do they take your side over consent? when theirs its so hazy

Hi hurtandashamed,
I'm sorry you find yourself on here. You will find lots of support here but be prepared for it to be a long hard road. I'm not sure they do take your side as far as consent goes until it goes to court. That is the basic truth of the matter. This is what is likely to happen...
She will have a blood alcohol test done (BAC) and depending how high it is will determine whether it is felt she was able to consent. However... even if it comes within a level she is deemed capable of giving consent she can still maintain that she was raped. What is likely to happen now is that you will be bailed ( probably several times) before being charged. You'd better get yourself a specialist solicitor, not speak to the police without one (ever), write down everything that happened that night because in time you may forget important details. Make a note of everyone who saw/heard anything that could help you eg if she kissed/touched you/was suggestive towards you - you will need them as witnesses. Try and find out as much about this girl, history, photographs, reputation etc. Who knows.. she may even have done this before. Don't be tempted to go against your bail conditions which probably include not contacting her. She will have been given an oppertunity to claim a large sum of money and that is quite an incentive for some. As is the ability to get to stay in Britian if she's not British or from an EU country.
I can only give you this advice because my son is about to go to court following a boozy evening and he made some mistakes... probably the worse was taking the advice of the duty solicitor and then taking the card for the solicitor he gave him, and ultimately not catching on that it is for real sooner. He's young and naive. Luckily(and I have to thank certain members on this site for that and their ongoing support ) we managed to change solicitors and feel confident that he's getting the best representation he can get, although at the cost of time.
So my advice is: take it seriously, act quickly and share this with 2 or 3 people you can really trust and who believe and care about you. Have a good look on this site, there are 'stickies' which will give you good info including specialist solicitors.
Try to keep mind and spirit intact.
All the very best of luck

[hurtandshamed]

Thanks for this I appreciate it. I just wish I had never gone out

[Saffron]

That is excellent advice from WGO. I can't add anything practical but wanted to say Welcome

[whatsgoingon?]

That is excellent advice from WGO. I can't add anything practical but wanted to say Welcome

Well thank-you Saffron! Happy New year to you and Mr Saffron (I've been itching to type that name!)

[whatsgoingon?]

Thanks for this I appreciate it. I just wish I had never gone out

I can more than understand that. We all have to re-think centuries of 'tradition' - booze and members of the opposite sex do not go together.

[IvorBinWronged]

Is it HAS?

Everyone seems to get an acronym!

Get that club CCTV footage of her with plod then with you and plod because it will possibly show that she was not angry with you or frightened of you.

Determine just how plod found out about this "rape" - was she cajoled into saying that she had sex with you. Plod knows that they can possibly score quiet high if they get her to admit to having sex (how sick is that - questioning a female as to weather or not she has had sex that evening?) knowing that she has been drinking.

The very fact that she showed everyone pictures of her doing sex things just highlights what type of person she is - someone for whom sex is a normal unabashed part of her life. You have not said that she was angry about you two having sex - she could be quiet ok about it privately. She may claim her 11k sweetener but might (if it goes to court) take the view that it was not rape but just drunken sex.

Your gonna get loads of bail and told nowt so just relax as best you can, get some meds, stay off the hard sauce, keep in touch with friends, have as many laughs as you can and pray that she is a proper person.

Drunken car park sex sounds great - what party-poopers the lawmakers are...

Hammer home the fact that she consented. Hammer home the fact that she consented.

Good luck.

[hurtandshamed]

spoke to police today and they said that they were not supposed to tell me this yet but they could see how hurt I was. They said that the DS Sarg had decided not to pursue the case. He said that they had looked at the evidence and they were almost sure that no charges would be brought. Does that mean that she has been caught out? Would they ever say this as a lie because they think i am gonna do something stupid? I would not BTW

[Saffron]

Don't take it as a given until you get it in writing. If the case was referred to the CPS then only they can make the decision not to proceed. Sometimes Plod will say nice things like this in order to try and trip you up.
Unfortunately, even if you do get the NFA in writing it is very unlikely that they would proceed with charges against the complainant.
Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear.