Help and advice

[Supergran]

At the end of April this year my son, now 28, married with a young child, was accused of raping a girl about 14 years ago. We were all deeply shocked. He did not rape anyone, he is a quiet, gentle soul. We were questioned by police, which was very traumatic for my daughter and daughter-in-law, especially as the interviewing officer kept inferring my son was guilty. The first bail date came and we were told it was extended to today.

Today we were told it's extended to October. When it first happened we had to sign an agreement with social services that my granddaughter would not be left alone with my son, so now I have to babysit most weeks and my daughter-in-law has had to turn down some night work because I can't be available all the time. It's so hard for her and my son and has affected my granddaughter too. I would be glad to hear from other parents who have gone through this and come out the other end. How many times can they extend bail? Is there anything we can do? I feel so helpless!

Super gran

[Rights Fighter]

Supergran

Unfortunately they can extend bail time and time again. I've known it go on for two years so please don't expect this to be quick, although you have obviously found that out now.

Has he found an experienced and supportive solicitor just for ad hoc advice?

[Supergran]

Thanks

Yes he has a good solicitor, thank you for your reply. It just seems so wrong that it can go on and on and on, and so many lives be affected just because a young woman alleged something during a counselling session that was supposed to happen when she was a young girl. The system seems messed up to me. Super gran

[Rights Fighter]

Counselling? Sounds interesting! Possibly false memories have been implanted into her head so she believes them. How suggestible is she? Does she have learning difficulties?

[Supergran]

The accuser

I have no idea, I haven't seen her since she was little and don't remember much about her, except she was friendly and happy. I have recently read on the Internet about false memories that come out in counselling. It seems unfair to ruin people's lives because of things that are said in counselling... Super gran

[Faith]

Sorry to hear your story Supergran. Try and keep strong. As RF correctly says, you should be searching for a specialist solicitor should this go further. Perhaps you could post up your county or nearest town so someone might suggest someone.

Any evidence you may get (although this is unlikely with it being so historic) keep to yourself. Try not to fall into the trap of being overly trusting of the police.

Do not see the fact there have been several bail dates phase you. As you can imagine, it is very difficult to establish if something happened between two peoples 14 years ago...chances are it will boil down to one word versus the other.

Wonder if the accuser is aware of compensation being offered...

Take care.

[Supergran]

Thanks

Sorry to hear your story Supergran. Try and keep strong. As RF correctly says, you should be searching for a specialist solicitor should this go further. Perhaps you could post up your county or nearest town so someone might suggest someone.

Any evidence you may get (although this is unlikely with it being so historic) keep to yourself. Try not to fall into the trap of being overly trusting of the police.

Do not see the fact there have been several bail dates phase you. As you can imagine, it is very difficult to establish if something happened between two peoples 14 years ago...chances are it will boil down to one word versus the other.

Wonder if the accuser is aware of compensation being offered...

Take care.

Thank you Faith for responding. What do you mean by 'compensation'?

We have a top notch solicitor, thank you, well experienced in these cases, but he doesn't really do much unless my son is charged. However, his firm have been helpful in advising my son and his wife.

I used to trust the police, I no longer do so. I was horrified at the way a man, on his own, was allowed to question my son's wife about sexual matters. At one point he called her 'a good little Asian girl'. I was also disturbed by the way the man tried to make us all believe my son is guilty. I will find it hard to ever trust police again or to have faith in the justice system in this country.

Supergran

[Faith]

The person who files an allegation may become aware that they entitled to claim compensation for the 'assault'
Many alleged victims receive thousands of pounds and, if aware of it, this can be a key motive in why they raise a false allegation, much in the same way as a person may fake an accident at work to get a payout.

[Supergran]

Reply

The person who files an allegation may become aware that they entitled to claim compensation for the 'assault'
Many alleged victims receive thousands of pounds and, if aware of it, this can be a key motive in why they raise a false allegation, much in the same way as a person may fake an accident at work to get a payout.

I never knew that! We would really like to know why the woman has said these things but we're not allowed to contact her. As I said to my daughter-in-law, what goes around, comes around, that's what I believe anyway. So I hope if the woman is just being malicious that she will get what she deserves for causing such emotional pain and other problems. If she's just sick, I hope she gets the help she needs.

Supergran

[Saffron]

Hi Supergran.
You are clearly a level-headed, kind person.
Yes, anyone who claims to be a victim of sexual assault or rape can claim thousands of pounds from CICA (Criminal Injuries Compensation...somethingoranother, I can't remember exactly!) In order to claim this, no-one needs to have been convicted or even charged.
The irony is that many genuine survivors of rape don't actually claim the money. It makes them feel as though they are being paid for being raped.
I hope your son gets closure on this very soon.
Thinking of you.

[Rights Fighter]

One case I am helping with which is being appealed - the liar got £16K which must include an allegation of rape due to the amount. She never alleged rape so it will be interesting to see what she told CICA.......... watch this space.....

[Supergran]

Hi Supergran.
You are clearly a level-headed, kind person.
Yes, anyone who claims to be a victim of sexual assault or rape can claim thousands of pounds from CICA (Criminal Injuries Compensation...somethingoranother, I can't remember exactly!) In order to claim this, no-one needs to have been convicted or even charged.
The irony is that many genuine survivors of rape don't actually claim the money. It makes them feel as though they are being paid for being raped.
I hope your son gets closure on this very soon.
Thinking of you.

Thanks Saffron, I hope so too, he and his wife have put their plan to give me a second grandchild on hold because of it :-( I can't believe the person claiming to have been raped can get compensation without anyone being charged! That's crazy, and opens up a 'big can of worms'. Meanwhile those wrongly accused and their families suffer in all kinds of ways.

[jaycube]

shocking

This will be very shocking to your family and police inquiry was not in your favor, wait for the bail date.

[Rights Fighter]

Thanks Saffron, I hope so too, he and his wife have put their plan to give me a second grandchild on hold because of it :-( I can't believe the person claiming to have been raped can get compensation without anyone being charged! That's crazy, and opens up a 'big can of worms'. Meanwhile those wrongly accused and their families suffer in all kinds of ways.

Unfortunately that is the way it goes. We see in the media on a regular basis where alleged victims of sexual abuse have received £K's in 'compensation'.

When you know the case is false, add up the cost of the police investigation, the cost to the defendant travelling to and from plod shop to answer bail and taking days off work, parking, petrol (especially if you have to travel a long distance), costs of court hearings including sols and barristers, in worst case scenario prison at around £40K a year, family on benefits if the bread winner is inside, cost of attempts to appeal, no job on release...... and on and on it goes..... payment for lying running into thousands of pounds......

ALL OUT OF THE TAX PAYERS POCKET