Has a false accusation been of benefit to your life?

[edinguy]

Personally No.

I've suffered severe health anxiety ever since my trial ended more than 2 years ago. I’ve had myself on my death bed with brain tumours, bowel cancer and whatever else. I have spent thousands on scans and tests convinced my life is coming to an end.

Before this I had never been to the docs in my life other than when I fractured my ankle.


I’m expecting my first child any day now and I just hope I can sort myself out to take care of it when he/she arrives.

[AmandaF]

I can relate to that - I currently have all those symptoms and more.

I've suffered anxiety for years and it resurfaced with a huge bang.

However, whether this is a benefit or not, I have come to realise how fickle life is, one day you have it all and then the rug is pulled from underneath your feet and you are suddenly hurtling into a bottomless pit; consequently I have learnt that we have to make the most of our friends, family, everything we enjoy.

We also find strength amidst this dire adversity and me? Well I finally understand the meaning of true love and its many forms.
Can't be too bad a thing can it?

[jayenmac]

@lawlessone2009
there has been some individual benefits (but many many negatives that outweigh them in my mind)

Such as: now i am most definitely more psychologically resilient etc. (more, but personal)

in some ways yes, If you are interested in this further, in psychology we call this "post traumatic growth"
the psychology dept at UCL (london) actually study this in the psychology department under positive psychology so if you have any thoughts perhaps emailing them and looking into it may nudge them towards researching exactly this situation.

[Stayingstrong]

I mulled over my answer for a long time. My initial answer would have been a definite NO. However, I read your full post several times, and decided that 49% of me now said no, and 51% of me said yes.

My OH and I had to endure eight months of not knowing, waiting and waiting, with two bail dates changed with no notice. We finally got an NFA on Thursday 22nd October 2015 (last week)

I joined this forum like everyone else in the depths of darkness looking for some kind of light, and "companions" on the same frightening journey. I found support and I know friends who are going through similar, and far far worse experiences than we have gone through.

This horrid experience that I would not wish on my worse enemy has made me far more tolerant to the world, to my friends and work colleagues. It has made me really appreciate my "real" friends who I had confided in, and some of my immediate family who fully supported both of us.

I have not celebrated the NFA. I am still scared and frightened. I am 57, and have always seen the world through rose tinted glasses. Nothing really bad has ever happened to me (or my family) before this "Woman" made her utterly false accusations. But even with all these thoughts I hope this has brought us closer together as a couple.

[slowdown73]

I'm new on here. This is my first post. Strangely, there have been a couple of real positives for me.

1. I've lost over 3 stone in weight. I made the decision that while I could not control anything around the police investigation or false accusation made against me, I could do something positive about my weight. I had been overweight for past 10 years and decided to go on a healthy diet and exercise regime. It's taken 6 months and during that time the allegation was NFA'd. I don't think I would have lost the weight if it wasn't for the allegation. It gave me something positive to focus on during a very dark time in my life.

2. Since receiving the NFA, I've resigned from my job. I worked in the criminal justice system and wasn't happy anyway. There was no way I could have stayed there due to the way my company dealt with the allegation which undermined my reputation by sharing sensitive information with my colleagues. It caused me considerable distress. Although it was a tough decision to leave, it's given me a kick up the back side to get out of a rut and look for a job I feel more passionate about.

[utterlydestroyed]

Q - "Has a false accusation been of benefit to your life"?

NO!

It will be 12yrs on this year. & still the answer is NO.
Actually things are worse than ever.

However, I still fight a guerrilla warfare campaign best I can when I have the energy against Devon & Cornwall police corruption, misconduct, homophobia & criminality.

I did start sculpting again.https://youtu.be/8kZyZCqXG0A See youtube video:-

But I still cannot paint without having a panic attack, silly I know.

I have not left my home since 2007 on my own without a witness escort, kindly provided in recent years via a Red Cross referral.

As a direct result of the relentless police intimidation, threats, bullying, homophobia, victimization, persecution, instigation of hate crimes & assaults, death threats, etc. & after several police instigated suicide attempts, I've subsequently been clinically forensically diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Catastrophic Trauma, severe panic attacks & extreme anxiety. My symptoms described by the clinical forensic consultant psychologist as "similar to those observed in persons repeatedly exposed to life threatening situations' ie a warzone

Its left me severely cognitively disabled in the severe disability ESA benefits group.

I would no more trust in my home ANY Devon & Cornwall police officer than I would a convicted serial killer, not one of them!

[panic]

I am just beginning my journey through this, despite being initially arrested in August, I was formally charged today. I have lost my house and my job already but am not worried about material things.

My partner and little girl are standing by me, they know I am not capable of what I have been charged with. I have told some friends and neighbours and every single one of them have offered character statements and support. I feel blessed to have such a good support network, just wish I didnt have to use it!

In terms of a 'benefit' I have decided this will not beat me and have used the money from the sale of my house to fund a new venture, I am about to start building a new house with the intention of becoming a property developer. If it comes off I will have significantly improved my annual income and realised a lifelong dream. It could go well for me and be a new and exciting chapter in my family's life, or it could go wrong and my liberty be taken from me for something I have not done. We'll see.

[slowdown73]

I am just beginning my journey through this, despite being initially arrested in August, I was formally charged today. I have lost my house and my job already but am not worried about material things.

My partner and little girl are standing by me, they know I am not capable of what I have been charged with. I have told some friends and neighbours and every single one of them have offered character statements and support. I feel blessed to have such a good support network, just wish I didnt have to use it!

In terms of a 'benefit' I have decided this will not beat me and have used the money from the sale of my house to fund a new venture, I am about to start building a new house with the intention of becoming a property developer. If it comes off I will have significantly improved my annual income and realised a lifelong dream. It could go well for me and be a new and exciting chapter in my family's life, or it could go wrong and my liberty be taken from me for something I have not done. We'll see.

I like your positively - not sure I could be so positive if I was in your situation. I am glad you have plenty of support - you will need that and resilience so stay strong.

[edinguy]

I can relate to that - I currently have all those symptoms and more.

I've suffered anxiety for years and it resurfaced with a huge bang.

However, whether this is a benefit or not, I have come to realise how fickle life is, one day you have it all and then the rug is pulled from underneath your feet and you are suddenly hurtling into a bottomless pit; consequently I have learnt that we have to make the most of our friends, family, everything we enjoy.

We also find strength amidst this dire adversity and me? Well I finally understand the meaning of true love and its many forms.
Can't be too bad a thing can it?

Yes don't get me wrong it did give me some things which I may never have had if this never happened that are positive like bringing me closer to my loved ones and trying to make the most of my life knowing how quickly things can change.

For me personally though I do think this ordeal has taken so much out of me that I will never be the same mentally anyway. My Health anxiety lead to me being on headache medication daily as I have a daily headache disorder that came about 2 months after my not guilty verdict.

I have been told I may have/am suffering a PTSD of some kind due to the length of time my mental state was in turmoil.

I try to go on and not look back but it's hard.

This is just me though and I know of others like on here who use an experience like this to go spur them on to better things.

[carrot tops]

I think on the whole the fa has not been a benefit.

I feel I lost a few years of my life. I should have been fully enjoying our new grand child but an barely remember her early days as we were fighting for our son and consumed as to how he was.

Son reacted by spending most of time with mates. I was worried for him, he was worried for me. I wanted to keep him close, he took solace in drink and drugs. Whilst it wasn't the best way to cope I don't blame him at all, but it creates its own problems.

Unfortunately I put weight on and still struggle with motivation to shift it. I have felt paranoid anxious and wary. I never used to be like that, not sure if the menopause also makes this worse.

I am angry that after the NG verdict no "sorry for your pain, how can we help your son and wider family?" Came from the "professionals" who caused our pain. I'm angry that I can't fight the CPS social services and police. I'm angry that daughter has not been prosecuted for perverting the course of justice.

On the other side I forgive daughter ( I think). I know I love her, I want her to be safe and happy, but I know I can't have a relationship with her.

Overall our family is stronger but I find it harder to let go of my falsely accused son. It feels like he could become a sitting duck for any other girl who made a false allegation. The fact that it hit the press makes me even more worried about this.

I feel like I'm still processing this and I'm worried my son has not processed this at all. I feel like it is a time bomb waiting to go off. On my bad days I am waiting for disaster. On my good days I feel that nothing will ever be as bad as what we've been through and I relax when a problem strikes.

I am gentler on myself when I'm not coping. I know I can't be the super mum I wish I was.

[carrot tops]

Forgot to say.I developed some health issues several months after the court case. It was as if the pressure was off and suddenly I could let the stress show in my body.