Has a false accusation been of benefit to your life?

[just married]

Back to the point. Yep. I feel different. Today should have been my bail date at the police station. I had news of nfa a week ago from my solicitor. Nope, no letter in the post, and after queueing for 45 minutes at the police station, nope, no letter at the police station. 'They would bring it down this afternoon', says the officer on the front desk. (I was due to surrender to bail at 2pm, it's now 10.30am.) The officer on the front desk gave me the bail office direct phone number to call, he tried ringing them while I was there, but no answer. 'Must've gone for breakfast' says he. So I'm trying to ring them now... no answer.

Yep, I feel different. After my arrest, I decided two things; I will not be ashamed in my own community, and also, that nothing was going to diminish the confidence my development, including the relationship with my accuser had begun to instill in me.
The former, thanks to being blessed with good friends around me, stands fast. The latter, is kind of constantly under review.

I'm gonna be posting more soon.... got rehearsal this morning with a 72 yr old musician friend... gotta go...
back later

[just married]

An update. Yes, a false allegation can be of benefit.... ( I think)

I am so far, eight kilos lighter, and feeling well healthy. Yippeee!! No freefall parachuting, extreme bungeeing or anything just yet though...

[Boys don't cry]

Eight kilos lighter, and feeling well healthy. Yippeee!!

That's what I need

[Boys don't cry]

It was worth a poll.

Has been accused benefited your life?


Improved a relationship.
Made you grow up.
Changed your perspective in a positive manner.
Educated you.
Changed your behaviour in a positive manner.
Given you drive and determination.

(This list is exhaustable...)

1 Destroyed a relationship.
2 At 40,sorry I can't grow up
3 This is a really tricky one,I should work less than 7 days a week in the future and chill a bit more,make friends,...
4 Education:I started a degree but because of work then being falsely accused, everything went down the drain.
I can't wait to start again as you feel a lot better psychologically and meet other people.
5 My behaviour won't change but I am sure any problems will seem a lot less serious and my stress should diminish.
6 Drive and determination:Yes, I am 100% sure it will,I start to feel stronger and when I'll see my son...

[IvorBinWronged]

It is a brutal question to have to answer, but bravo for asking it.

I voted no.

I voted no because for all the things that are positive in my life now, there is a part of me that has died. I look back at some past photos and there is a person in them that I can barely relate to - it is someone else, not me.

If it was not for the responsibilities and commitments that I have now, I would be employing all the skills that I have into making life a living hell for all that make up the system. FA has shaped me with its filthy, sharp, cold talons.

The girl was just the trigger for the system to act upon. She will rise or she will fall and I care not which.

It was the system that raped me. There, I have said it.

[just married]

Yep, tough times...

just looking in for an update...
I'm still carrying on with my walking, daily, along by the Thames, sometimes running a bit, walking now up to 27 miles a day... I'm down nearly 15 kilos now, to nearly 62k, just getting under 10 stone, and will soon be the weight I was in my 20s, and subsequently getting to feel like I'm in my 20s...

The band is being brilliant, our gigging schedule continues, and friends have been and are being their usual wonderful selves.....

I'm off to Budapest next week for a week, for the next bit of my 'honeymoon'... I shall continue my walking/ running regime alongside the Danube.. it'll make a change from the Thames....

RF, Hi, and thanks for all you do... I got my two and a half grand back after the official letter of complaint, cheque in the post within 7 days... Great feeling!

Still not a word from my young wife and accuser....
I went to finally meet with recommended family lawyer yesterday...... cathartic stuff, beginning the process,
and I began counselling, with just one session recently... I'm booked for a course of 12 weekly sessions starting next month... also thereputic....

So, onwards and upwards, eh.... or onwards and sideways, anyway.....

I'm off out to buy new DeCathlon cheap trainers this morning before I start todays training... the last pair have done 275 miles now, and are the worse for wear..... not bad for 12.99...

Good day, everyone....

love,

JM.

[RFLH]

so good to read a positive post - wow at the walking - I managed that once, when i was 14 and then went to a disco straight after - it should have been 20 miles but my friend and me took a wrong turn! I think betrween us we raidsed the princely sum of a fiver, it was worth a lot 45 years ago!

I'm lucky if I can do a few hundred yards these days

[IvorBinWronged]

Happy cheapskate!

I got my two and a half grand back after the official letter of complaint, cheque in the post within 7 days... Great feeling!

I'm off out to buy new DeCathlon cheap trainers this morning before I start todays training... the last pair have done 275 miles now, and are the worse for wear..... not bad for 12.99...

Dear JM - you got £2.5k - go treat your feet!

You NEED at least two pair for the miles that you do or your feet will suffer.

RFLH is right in that it was nice to read that positive post of yours - good luck.

[Boys don't cry]

JM

At last another positive post,you must feel so much better,I envy you.
I am too busy.I did walk and cycle to work for one year and 3 months and last week bought myself a car.
I start to feel normal again.
Once again well done JM.
Take care of yourself running man

[Faith]

Dear JM - you got £2.5k - go treat your feet!

This is part of JM's own money that he has been refunded as he should never have had to fork it out in the first place. it hasn't been a full refund so it's not a bonus £2.5k of disposable income.

[Rights Fighter]

...... I got my two and a half grand back after the official letter of complaint, cheque in the post within 7 days... Great feeling!

YEAYYYYYYYYYY! That has cheered me up no end! I am soooo pleased you weren't tempted to pay half as they did nothing for you in the first place! I bet a certain 'enquiry agent' is not pleased as he will have lost his 'cut' too! Well done you for sticking to your guns!!!

[just married]

Thanks, you guys, for the support.
You have become the fuel in my tank.

BDC, The Unkle video is for me my theme in my head when I am in England. I am now the man who cannot be knocked down anymore. You take care as well.... BTW, I not only know the Cure song since the '80s, but can play it too.

But here in Budapest, the horrors have been overtaking me again..... the loss of the love, and why, just will not compute in my head. I can't believe that such evil exists. This solo honeymoon has been totally painful. I'm sorry to be down again. I resume my counselling next month. I'm sure that will help.

I leave here on Tuesday at 06.30, and should be home again by Tuesday lunchtime.....Can't wait to be home; back, hopefully to my walking, and my reliable safe routine.

Love,

JM.

[IvorBinWronged]

I got that bit...

This is part of JM's own money that he has been refunded as he should never have had to fork it out in the first place. it hasn't been a full refund so it's not a bonus £2.5k of disposable income.

What I don't get is doing on-foot mileage on cheap trainers. Sore feet possibly take one's mind from other events:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...in_Judge_Dredd

Judge Morphy...

Good grief that took me back... BUT WE MUST LOOK FORWARD!

[marynarz]

From my point of view it looks like:
Now any problem is not a problem

But to be serious. I wish it never happened.

[whatsgoingon?]

I could have done without this - although I'm not the accused, I'm sure my son could have of too. The big C sent my fair-weather friends packing, robbed me of my physical stamina and ability but gave me some of the things other members have mentioned 'thanks to' having been FA'd, including new, unexpected freindships. Years of chronic pain have taught me to appreciate the going while it's good, not to maon over silly things, smile as much and as often as I can and take time to listen to bird song ( I also had to learn relaxation and meditation techniques which help me in the present circumstances).
Just as I was resurfacing I certainly wasn't expecting this. I suppose it's taught me to expect the unexpected (repeatedly) - my son (aged 14 then) helped me through my battle and now I'm helping him as much as I can. Our relashionship is having to adapt to allow for that but it's the very least I can do. I hope we'll both be much stronger for it. It has meant more energy to spend, more money too but he's begining to focus on the thing that really matters in life to him so I'm sure some positive things will come out of it. I don't think we'll forget this one in a hurry though...