Falsely accused, questions.

[cluelessandconfused]

If you are falsely accused of rape, and the police say that there are no grounds as you have sufficient evidence to prove that the accusations are false, can you press charges against the person who made the accusations?

[Casehardened]

C&C, Good morning....

I am hoping your question means you have had good news relating to your partner!

.....in fact ultimately it is the police who press charges and they are very reluctant to prosecute false accusers in order not to discourage genuine rape victims from coming forward. (they may occasionally do so in cases where there have been multiple false accusations, accusations for monetary gain, or a huge waste of police resources)

In theory the accused could bring a private prosecution against his accuser or sue for any loss that may have occurred as a result of the accusation but this will be difficult and very expensive (plus paying the other party's costs if case is lost!)

[cluelessandconfused]

afternoon Casehardened.
He was released at about 8pm, bailed with no conditions, but has to provide the police with a chatlog between him and his ex-partner that occured over fb, over the 2 dates on which he was accused of rape (rather than the one i thought it was originally). She also claimed one count of historical rape, which the police dismissed straight away.

One of the messages, is her asking him to come over on the evening when their son was in her mum's care and she was home alone - this was after both dates.
Another, which was the same date as the second alleged rape, just after he had left the house following putting their son to bed..... saying about how they "need to stop this f*ck buddy thing", and saying that she still cared for him, wanted him back, etc etc. There are also messages there between the two dates (both of which were recent - the start of this month) where she has asked him if he will come and meet her from a friends and walk her home after she's been there drinking, asking him if he'll come over as she needs someone to talk to.....

The police have said that she has falsely accused born of malice, and possibly to engineer the outcome that she wishes for in the current custody dispute over their son, and will dismiss all charges.

So, seems he has had consensual sex with her, on at least one occasion, and she has instead said that he has raped her.

xx

[Faith]

This all sounds very positive BUT, without wanting to pour a dampener on things, I would be reluctant to trust the police's word that they are going to drop it. It could be a method they use of gathering evidence that they can then twist. There have been a few people who have come through here who have been assured by the plod that it's going nowhere and then have ended up charged.

I am not saying that that is going to happen with your partner's case, it is fairly rare in the grand scheme of things. Many people get an understandable mistrust of the police after their experiences but it can't be forgotten that many of the police remain honest and trustworthy.

You just have to be careful.
Before you give any of this stuff to the police, speak to a solicitor (did your partner have one in with him?) Ensure there is nothing there that could be twisted. And take copies of it and keep it safe...for there is a small chance the police only want the evidence so that they can see what your defence will be...and then they can get the accuser to change their statement to fit in with that.

My post probably comes across as paranoid and it is not my intention to scare you or pour cold water on what I am 95% sure is very good news for you both. But if you did't consider that 5% and then it just happened to occur, you may feel even worse. it is better to cover all bases and be safe rather than sorry.

EVERYTHING goes through a solicitor first. If there is one rule you follow, make it that.

And I truly hope that this is all over for your partner and yourself in the next few days.

As for prosecuting the accuser, that would be in the police's hands but I very much doubt it for the reasons that casehardened has said. I wouldn't waste your time and money trying to bring a case to her as they very rarely succeed. It all boils down to the fact of whether you can PROVE she lied. And in 99% of cases, that just isn't possible unless she makes a full and frank admission.

There will be a lot of anger for what you have been put through; that is understandable. The best possible revenge you can take on her is to be happy together and show that you have won. Let her think that she has had no effect on you whatsoever.

And I'm sure that your partner has learned some very valuable lessons through all of this...

[Saffron]

Excellent advice from Faith.

[cluelessandconfused]

thank you so much for your replies, once again.


This will be a quick response, as my head is all over the place.
As if this accusation wasn't enough, it now seems there are more issues within my relationship than i could have ever imagined. They are being put on the backburner for now of course, as the most important thing is to sort this, but knowing that even once this is over there is more to be dealt with, is weighing very heavily.


He has spoken to his solicitor first and told them that the police requested a copy of the conversation. The solicitor has advised him to give them a copy, and i believe also a copy will go to the solicitor.

I have made sure to stress that he does not hand over the USB with the copy on though, only the print outs. And we also have the original conversation still in his fb messages, and further copies too. We are trying to play it as safe as we can.

The police had informed him that once he has supplied this evidence and they have processed it, she will be questioned regarding it and my partner's bail should be removed (Not sure of the correct term) and the charges dropped. Even if it is not as successful as we are hoping it will be and as it seems to be, then it will at the very least point out some very major discrepancies within her statement, and she will be pushed on that too. I just hope that she admits that she has lied when asked about these conversations/presented with them, i really do.


A relative of mine is a police officer, and while of course he cannot be involved in the case, i have asked him a few hypothetical questions about what could be likely to happen if "x" or "y" was to occur, purely for information/reassurance and to be taken no further.

The responses we've had have been positive, and I am hopeful that my partner will now be able to put this behind him and we can start to work on coming to terms with what has happened without the fear of what might yet be to come, and can then go on to deal with our other issues.

xxx

[cluelessandconfused]

There will be a lot of anger for what you have been put through; that is understandable. The best possible revenge you can take on her is to be happy together and show that you have won. Let her think that she has had no effect on you whatsoever.

And I'm sure that your partner has learned some very valuable lessons through all of this...

Thankyou. I do truly hope so too. Once all of this is over, hopefully we will be able to sit and talk and then i will know whether this will be possible - for us to continue.

I think i will make another topic on that subject.

I truly hope that he has learnt, too.

xx

[Faith]

It is sounding positive, but (sorry you must think I'm really pessimistic!) the police cannot guarantee that it will be dropped until they hear what her responses are. Like you, I hope that she can see she has been caught out on those lies and will just admit it. It depends how she reacts under pressure...some sadly will just make up another, even more ridiculous, lie to cover their last lie up. but like you see, at the very least, she is showing herself to have a distinct lack of credibility, which can only be a good thing.

Your head must be all over the place at the moment and you are right to postpone dealing with the issues in your relationship. Whatever mistakes he has made, that it down to you and you alone to take action on, not some bitter ex and the police. Only you have the right to deal with that...so get this injustice out of the way first as no man deserves to be punished for a crime he did not commit. I hope that you might be able to work through your relationship problems but only you and your partner can really know if that is possible.

Well done for not handing over the USB stick. That is absolutely the right choice. Obtain hard copies of anything on Facebook or whatever as you never know when someone might hack their way in and delete them. Sadly, it happens.

[cluelessandconfused]

yes, he has changed his passwords too and changed the security questions and answers, and the associated email addresses, also has enabled the check-in so if you log in or attempt to from another device, you have to enter a name for it and the account owner receives an email and a text straight away.

If this were to happen, for example if she attempted to access his account and delete anything, then it will be a police matter as attempting to tamper with evidence, not simply just hacking someone elses account, which will be another black mark against her.


My partner and I were sat up until breakfast discussing this, and he mentioned that she has made several other false allegations, to him and to other people - family, friends, friends of his. Not police as far as i'm aware. One was when they first got together she told people that he had threatened her with a knife. She has since said to him that she knows he didn't, and apologised, etc.

The other, was she told him she had previously been raped. It was only a year ago i believe that she told him it was a lie, that she hadn't. He has told his solicitor these things and the police, i believe. Is this likely to be something the police would ask her about? If my partner has given/was to give details on who she has told, would the police be likely to follow this up and ask these people?


And, Faith, I do not think you are pessimistic - you are being realistic and explaining possible outcomes, and i'm extremely grateful to you for that. We so want to believe that this is it, it is over very soon now, but i know that if we were to do that and it were to turn out any other way, it would be more crushing (if possible) than if we were aware and as prepared as we could be.


I just want my partner cleared of this, and I do have complete faith that he will be, and I know that I will fight by his side every single step of the way, no matter how long it takes. That is what is important now. He is innocent, and it is sickening that we have to fight to prove it, but we will do so, and i'm going nowhere.

He could have slept with half the country behind my back, and i would still be fighting with him for this. You are right, no man deserves to be accused of this, and he deserves all of the support that he can get, and I am willing to give him everything that I have.

I also find it so offensive, having experienced myself what she is accusing him of, and so belittling of the trauma that i experienced and still experience at the hands of that monster, and I believe that this is something that is affecting my partner too as he knows of my past, but our focus, and rightly so, is on this and getting his name cleared. If that lying cow gets dragged through the dirt in the process, sobeit, but our goal is getting this off his back.

xx

[Faith]

Very well said!
Your accuser sounds very similar to mine in the sense that she made a great deal of 'off the record' accusations concerning other people. These were usually made to my fiancee, who has written a very detailed account of each word. It's all just her word and it's unlikely the police will follow any of it up in terms of asking people she accused but it DOES show she has a habit of saying these things and my solicitor says that it shows the CPS that she will be unreliable as a witness.
You wouldn't believe the amount of things my accuser has 'been through' at such an age and she's still standing, the trooper that she is...
You're right, people like that are a disgrace to genuine victims

[cluelessandconfused]

It's all just her word and it's unlikely the police will follow any of it up in terms of asking people she accused but it DOES show she has a habit of saying these things and my solicitor says that it shows the CPS that she will be unreliable as a witness.

This is exactly what has been suggested we try to do - to collect any evidence of such behaviour that shows that she is essentially a dirty bloody liar. Would this be as a precaution, in case it does still end up going to court, do you know?

Also, is something like this likely to be on police record/file/whatever the word is, associated with her? As something that my partner brought up, made me think that, if she can do this to him, what's to stop her....

These were usually made to my fiancee, who has written a very detailed account of each word.

This is what we're doing too.
He's been going over every bit of written contact between them to look for anywhere where she has contradicted herself, anywhere where she has made thinly-veiled threats (she's said about how she wants him back, she still has feelings for him, won't he please come over so they can try to work it out) ...and when he's said that isn't what he wants, he just wants for the two of them to be civil for their son's sake and for him to be able to be a dad.... she's implied that she won't let that happen... that if he truly cared for his son then he would go back to her.... and i believe has said on at least one occasion that that is his choice, but she won't make it easy for him.

He is collecting and storing all of this, to go through his solicitor, and to police if required.

Your accuser sounds very similar to mine in the sense that she made a great deal of 'off the record' accusations concerning other people. You wouldn't believe the amount of things my accuser has 'been through' at such an age and she's still standing, the trooper that she is...
You're right, people like that are a disgrace to genuine victims

Sorry that your accuser has done similar God, it makes me so mad, i'm just starting to calm down a little and i think it's just sunk in that this **** happens to enough people for there to be a support forum for it! that is appalling!

I don't understand how people can be that desperate for attention, i really don't. This is something that ruins lives, and i truly believe that they deserve to be called on it.

*realises that she needs to calm down, so toddles off to make a cuppa*

It's even harder when he is up and out the house all willy-nilly and at all hours, I don't do so well sitting alone with my thoughts, and there is a lot that i don't understand or know about to do with what has happened with this situation, but I'm trying my best to give him the space he needs.

xx

[Faith]

Yes, it is difficult being the other half...many people here are in that situation and can advise better than me. You will feel like you have to be the strong one but this affects you just as much. It's your life she is toying with too.

If she has made official false accusations in the past then it will be on the police record. The police SHOULD do a check themselves on the accuser as well as the accused.

Even if she didn't take accusations to the police it is worth noting down.

[Rights Fighter]

You wouldn't believe the amount of things my accuser has 'been through' at such an age and she's still standing, the trooper that she is...
You're right, people like that are a disgrace to genuine victims

The worst thing she has been through is having a nasty, vindictive Cougar of a mother............

[Faith]

Indeed...and hasn't it rubbed off nicely on her!?

Like mother like daughter so they say...