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Hello.
First of all, i am from another european country, but this is the only forum i feel i can speak on. So forgive me for my english.
7 years ago i was on a party and was with a girl on the bed. We were both drunk and we kissed, and there were some touching. (on both sides.) i asked if i should close the door. I was standing upright when a girlfriend came along. I went into the bathroom and took a piss. When i came back, the girlfriend sat along and talked with her. The girlfriend went away and i sat next to the girl (she was an old friend.) I asked if we went to far, and asked for a kiss to make sure there were no hard feeling. She kissed me and left. i went up were the party was. One minute later i was thrown out by an angry man who said i had "took advantage" of the girl. I went. The next morning i went back to the house and apologized to the hostess. (not any of the former girls.) She said she did not noticed that and smiled. I asked to talk to the girl i messed around with, but she was out on a walk.
I thought about the incident for a week before it slipped my mind. (Seriously i am a very sensitive guy, i take harsh comment very badly, and i unfortunatly cares about what people says about me.)
Fast forward three years. I was playing basket with some friends, and i get in a small fight with one of the guys. He called me in anger a rapist. A man i did not knew, but were friends with some guys that there on the party.
My world collapsed. I tried to play it cool, the guy apologized but the damage was done. I went home and did not sleep for 3 days. The world changed, it changed my name on facebook, twitter and closed all my profiles. I was scared ****less.
I am not living in London, i am living in a small city with 250.000+ innhabitants, and that means that gossip is all around, if he knew, who else knew????
I never had sex with her, i never had sex, i am still a virgin, i am not a don juan, but i had some moments where it could have happend, but i am scared. I am afraid. And i want to use it in an trial....
Where i come from, there is nothing only thing worse than a rapist, and the society is full of feminism. When i visit my parents i take a cab, because i am afraid to meet her/friends on the bus. I avoid outside when i can. I am afraid that friends or relatives of the girl will be knocking my door down and beat the **** out of me. There are some suggestion from influential people in the country to create a "rape-charge" list, where everyone that has been charged with the crime will stand with name.
The police have never contacted me on this and it has been 7 years now. But i cant rest, i have sleepless nights where i think about the police barging and arrest me. I have moments where i feel the whole world would be taken away from me. After 10 years the charge will automatically be dropped because of the time limit.
To understand my problem, it is maybe important to know that i was bullied all the way to high school. In high school i was frozen out. (Even though i dont blame them, i was "special" in form that my social skill was not fully developed.) But after high school i enrolled to the millitary forces and slowly i buildt a life with new friends, hobbies, places and a social life. I am so afraid that it will all be taken away from me. I am so afraid to meet the actual girl again. I am afraid to post anything on the social network (like facebook twitter osv.) because i think she will see it and go to the police.
To compare me with people that drugs and rape women on an open street, it gave me the thought of suicide more than ones. I work with charity, i am active in sport and great friends, but what if they hear the rumor?? Have they heard the rumor?? Every year on the day the accident happen, i travel to another country and get of the radar from anyone. Its the only place i can relax because i know there nobody knows. I have been to a doctor with the problem and he gave me some sleep pills, but if you notice the hour this is posted, you understand the lack of effect.
Then there is the internett. I have a forename, middlename and last name. Whenever i am on the net i change on witch i use. Either forename lastname, middlename lastname etc.. I am afraid to google myself because i am afraid it will be my name and behind it stand is a rapist. I have also considered a name change, but my parents doesnt know, and this will attract unwanted attention.
So, i write this post because it also help me relax, and chills me down. I can't imagine what people that gets charged with this crime does, but i am not sure if i can manage a process like that.
First of all, i am from another european country, but this is the only forum i feel i can speak on. So forgive me for my english.
7 years ago i was on a party and was with a girl on the bed. We were both drunk and we kissed, and there were some touching. (on both sides.) i asked if i should close the door. I was standing upright when a girlfriend came along. I went into the bathroom and took a piss. When i came back, the girlfriend sat along and talked with her. The girlfriend went away and i sat next to the girl (she was an old friend.) I asked if we went to far, and asked for a kiss to make sure there were no hard feeling. She kissed me and left. i went up were the party was. One minute later i was thrown out by an angry man who said i had "took advantage" of the girl. I went. The next morning i went back to the house and apologized to the hostess. (not any of the former girls.) She said she did not noticed that and smiled. I asked to talk to the girl i messed around with, but she was out on a walk.
I thought about the incident for a week before it slipped my mind. (Seriously i am a very sensitive guy, i take harsh comment very badly, and i unfortunatly cares about what people says about me.)
Fast forward three years. I was playing basket with some friends, and i get in a small fight with one of the guys. He called me in anger a rapist. A man i did not knew, but were friends with some guys that there on the party.
My world collapsed. I tried to play it cool, the guy apologized but the damage was done. I went home and did not sleep for 3 days. The world changed, it changed my name on facebook, twitter and closed all my profiles. I was scared ****less.
I am not living in London, i am living in a small city with 250.000+ innhabitants, and that means that gossip is all around, if he knew, who else knew????
I never had sex with her, i never had sex, i am still a virgin, i am not a don juan, but i had some moments where it could have happend, but i am scared. I am afraid. And i want to use it in an trial....
Where i come from, there is nothing only thing worse than a rapist, and the society is full of feminism. When i visit my parents i take a cab, because i am afraid to meet her/friends on the bus. I avoid outside when i can. I am afraid that friends or relatives of the girl will be knocking my door down and beat the **** out of me. There are some suggestion from influential people in the country to create a "rape-charge" list, where everyone that has been charged with the crime will stand with name.
The police have never contacted me on this and it has been 7 years now. But i cant rest, i have sleepless nights where i think about the police barging and arrest me. I have moments where i feel the whole world would be taken away from me. After 10 years the charge will automatically be dropped because of the time limit.
To understand my problem, it is maybe important to know that i was bullied all the way to high school. In high school i was frozen out. (Even though i dont blame them, i was "special" in form that my social skill was not fully developed.) But after high school i enrolled to the millitary forces and slowly i buildt a life with new friends, hobbies, places and a social life. I am so afraid that it will all be taken away from me. I am so afraid to meet the actual girl again. I am afraid to post anything on the social network (like facebook twitter osv.) because i think she will see it and go to the police.
To compare me with people that drugs and rape women on an open street, it gave me the thought of suicide more than ones. I work with charity, i am active in sport and great friends, but what if they hear the rumor?? Have they heard the rumor?? Every year on the day the accident happen, i travel to another country and get of the radar from anyone. Its the only place i can relax because i know there nobody knows. I have been to a doctor with the problem and he gave me some sleep pills, but if you notice the hour this is posted, you understand the lack of effect.
Then there is the internett. I have a forename, middlename and last name. Whenever i am on the net i change on witch i use. Either forename lastname, middlename lastname etc.. I am afraid to google myself because i am afraid it will be my name and behind it stand is a rapist. I have also considered a name change, but my parents doesnt know, and this will attract unwanted attention.
So, i write this post because it also help me relax, and chills me down. I can't imagine what people that gets charged with this crime does, but i am not sure if i can manage a process like that.
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