Mumsnet

[worriedfather]

I gather that Mumsnet is running a campaign against rape. seems to be a lot of the usual all men are rapists stuff, more men should be prosecuted and that there is no such thing as a false accusation....
someone even suggested that too many false accusers were prosecuted and that was stopping people coming forward.
when will these people understand that it is their husbands, boyfriends and sons who are the ones that are accused?
I agree that rape is a terrible crime and those responsible should be prosecuted, but it must be a proper investigation and not "we will give it a go... he may be guilty" people do not understand the permanent damage do by a false accusation

[RFLH]

its an open forum - go and put your views forward - but be warned, they don't take any prisoners and you may get flamed.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_...campaign-today

they have many influencial people backing this, so if you post - who knows, they may well read it.

[worriedfather]

mumsnet

RFLH
I think that it has become a witch hunt, dont need evidence he must be guilty of something, a friend of mine was arrested outside family court some years ago, his ex wife suddenly "remembered" him raping her after she had been told that the judge was likely to grant him access to his children....... fortunately someone saw through the accusation but he still cant see his kids without supervised access.

[LS]

I take places like that with a pinch of salt the size of the Utah Salt Plains. Their only claim to know anything is that they got pregnant and dropped one. Doesn't entitle them to more than a couple of brain cells and the inability to say no to do that.

It is further borne out, as said, by their "all-men-are-x" attitude, while forgetting that without the involvement of said men, they wouldn't be able to fit the criteria to join their own site.

[RFLH]

actually - its a very good site, I'm a member. They do an awful lot of good things too, perhaps if you take the time to have a look you'll see that its not as black and white as it appears. A lot of men post there too and they aren't 'bashed'.

[LS]

Anywhere where one "can be flamed" is one to be wary of, imo. But thanks for the invite, but I'll pass. I have enough stress without getting into flame-wars there too.

[RFLH]

that's ok LS. There's one section I'd be scared of posting on there, my, they can be harsh!

But they do sterling work on lots of topics - their last was a huge Miscarriage Care Campaign.

[MerlinScot]

I gather that Mumsnet is running a campaign against rape. seems to be a lot of the usual all men are rapists stuff, more men should be prosecuted and that there is no such thing as a false accusation....
someone even suggested that too many false accusers were prosecuted and that was stopping people coming forward.
when will these people understand that it is their husbands, boyfriends and sons who are the ones that are accused?
I agree that rape is a terrible crime and those responsible should be prosecuted, but it must be a proper investigation and not "we will give it a go... he may be guilty" people do not understand the permanent damage do by a false accusation

Might point out that sometimes even the raped woman's husbands/boyfriends and families are involved in that?
Please don't look at that from your point of view and that's it.

I can tell you that my ex's life is a lot better than mine, who I found myself raped and accused of false allegations after a ridiculous and tainted investigation.

Rape is a terrible crime but it's still considered nothing in comparison to other crimes and at least in Scotland, unless you live in the belt, police nealry laughs at you when you go to report someone.

In some cases their campaign is exaggerating because people posting on twitter or internet.. well they could say whatever. But as a matter of fact no campaign or anyone else will convince victims to come forward given the awful treatment you've to stand when you accuse someone of rape.

[worriedandconcerned]

I think the key to all this is a fair and balanced investigation by the police and we all know this does not happen both sides

To give something a heading of

'We believe you'

Is straight away looking at it biased and this is the problem.

Its an insult to the falsely accused and to the genuine rape victim

[Faith]

Absolutely WAC

I am all for additional support for rape victims and in depth FAIR investigations.

What I abhorrently detest is the witch hunt nature that exists in places like this.

To balance what I'm saying, I agree with RFLH...a lot of sterling work is done on Mumsnet and there will no doubt be many decent people there.

But, in my view, their good work is undermined in their medieval approaches and their 'women would never lie attitude'

Women can lie. So can men. And these lies are a huge damage to the very worthwhile cause of support for rape victims.

The mere suggestion that proven false accusers should not be punished as it puts rape victims off coming forward is frankly ludicrous but also terrifying considering how high profile Mumsnet is

[MerlinScot]

Absolutely WAC

I am all for additional support for rape victims and in depth FAIR investigations.

What I abhorrently detest is the witch hunt nature that exists in places like this.

To balance what I'm saying, I agree with RFLH...a lot of sterling work is done on Mumsnet and there will no doubt be many decent people there.

But, in my view, their good work is undermined in their medieval approaches and their 'women would never lie attitude'

Women can lie. So can men. And these lies are a huge damage to the very worthwhile cause of support for rape victims.

The mere suggestion that proven false accusers should not be punished as it puts rape victims off coming forward is frankly ludicrous but also terrifying considering how high profile Mumsnet is

Mmm.. I think that's kind of misunderstanding Faith. Nobody says that proven liars shouldn't be jailed. But as you can see in my case, as in many others, what the Crown office decides is random and serves their purpose, not the people involved in the case at all.

So of course, as there are some men who are jailed and they're totally innocent, there are many rape victims who are not believed and then the rapists go to rape someone else. I didn't find any witch hunt in that place when I briefly posted there (although I posted in only 2 threads related to rape, don't know what they talk about in the others) and honestly, in Scotland the witch hunt is reversed, many rape victims are blamed on for having been raped and the risk of being accused of false allegations (even if you're right) is quite high if compared to the real convictions.

I can feel totally sympathetic to the false accused ones because I'm one (plus I'm a rape victim too) but please remember that the mumsnet site, like other websites and forums, are feminist, so of course they promote the rape awareness in a different way than other websites related to the topic.

[Rights Fighter]

I think the key to all this is a fair and balanced investigation by the police and we all know this does not happen both sides

To give something a heading of

'We believe you'

Is straight away looking at it biased and this is the problem.

Its an insult to the falsely accused and to the genuine rape victim

I review paperwork for appeals against conviction and pre-trial.

In most of the ABE interviews undertaken by the complainant they are treated as a 'victim' right from the start, and in fact more often than not they are assured 'you are the victim, that is why you are in this nice part of the police station.

Your attacker (father/brother/uncle/granddad/uncle Tom Cobley and all) is in the cells which is not a nice part of the police station'.

I attended an appeal against conviction two weeks ago. The presiding judge reeled of a list of the provable lies, inconsistencies and discrepancies, and also said that our fresh evidence would have had an impact on the verdict of the jury - they then rejected the appeal.

It was clear this guy was/is innocent. But due to the fact that no point of law was accepted by the Court he remains in prison serving a very long sentence. When he is released from prison he will remain on the Sex Offenders Register for life.

He is not a sex offender.

Maybe, Merlin, it would take somebody to falsely accuse a dear friend of yours, or family member of rape or child sex abuse for you to see this problem with a little more clarity.

We are all very much aware of the fact that most of the accused are in fact guilty.

We are all very much aware that the falsely accused are a minority. However, they do exist and suffer every bit as much as a true victim of rape.

Why?

They lose their freedom, their families, their jobs, they have mental health problems due what what has happened and some NEVER RECOVER - JUST LIKE RAPE VICTIMS.

Please stop belittling the innocent who are falsely accused and wrongly convicted just because you are part of the majority. If you do not like what you see on the falsely accused side of these forums I suggest you do not visit us here.

[MerlinScot]

Rights Fighter, people like you are why online there's lot of "witch hunt" in a rape case as well as being a fan of an actor.

Anyway, I post here because I found support and that was useful.

Also I posted a thread about my story, so stop following me all over the forum to repeat the same thing over and over again, even implying I'm not genuine because you're just pi$$ed.

It's evident you didn't even bother to read my thread and understand I'm a falsely accused too.

Online posters like you ARE the reason why the falsely accused are not believed at all.

So I wish you would see things in a more objective way, extremists are never good either side.

I might remember you that I'm the accused one here and that's why I signed up, rape charges were dropped off.

[Faith]

MerlinScot, you are a very rude individual.

People here have tried to help you and you appear to be offering the opposite in return

Please do the decent thing. This forum is for those seeking support. From seeing the way you are posting, there are many people, both victims of rape and of false allegations who may be put off posting.

[MerlinScot]

Faith, did you bother to read what Rights Fighter replied to my post?

It seems I replied rudely to someone who was very rude and impolite.

I look for support as anyone else here and I think I can offer help to understand the Scottish system to the few Scottish ones who are posting their stories.

Is that wrong?