Underage Sex Law

[Gutted]

I have a relative that is only 12 yrs old, it has been discovered that she has been sexually active with a 15 yr old, where does the law stand about this? It is still not clear whether it was consented sex or if she was chorused into it, the police seem to be doing nothing about it, I don't think the 15 yr old has been questioned yet and it has been over a week since it all came out. I am so angry with her that I can not even look at her, her mother wants to put her in to social care, everyone is still in a state of shock and can not believe that this has happened.

[diana_holbourn]

Here's a link that might help:
http://www.brook.org.uk/contentplain/M5_1_consent.asp

[questionable]

Hello.
I know that if an under-13-year-old does have sex, the other partner (if older than 12) can only be charged with statutory rape. Whether the partner had sex willingly or not. I first had sex with my boyfriend at almost 14.As he was also a minor no charges could be made that would stand in court. The realisation that minors are having sex is ground-breaking, but it is a reality. If you know of 2 people having sex and you think it is illegal, why not check on the BBC e-cyclopedia - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/special_report/...edia/437789.stm
If 2 people care enough to be in a relationship and have sex, they will only resent you if you try to stop them. You may feel you are doing the right thing, but I assure you that you are not.

[Guest]

This is a little late but if a 12 year old is having sex with anyone there is a serious problem. 12 years old should be talking about make up and dances and things of this nature. They should not even be thinking about sex. I do have a problem with the fact that the talked about 12 year old has the oppurtunity to be alone with the 15 year old long enough to have consentual sex. A 12 year old wouldn't consent to having sex if she weren't pressure in at least the tiniest way. I think the situation calls for a visit to a doctor, a consultation with some type of authority figure specializing in this field, and highly supervized outtings for the said 12 year old.

[Unregistered]

support them!

I'm tired of reading and hearing from the general populous that children shouldn't be sexually expressive. Why? Because we don't provide the means of a safe and educated environment for them to practice their sexuality in?

We're the ones as fault for not giving them the accommodative environment so that they can be who they are: sexual.

If a 12 year old is sexual, that doesn't make them asexual and the unhealthiness of it all is directly associated with 'us' not acknowledging kids sexuality and supporting them in it.

-As far as the post is concerned a 12 year old, depending on the local laws of your state and country, can and will be called a victim if s/he doesn't fall into the window laws that are provided. Window laws allow for a certain age range for same-age sex, which basically says well sexualized children can consent, but somehow it's only healthy and acceptable if it's within this window.

The 15 year old could be charged with statutory rape and be sent to juvenile and receive sex offender treatment for non-violent acts, so that he will come out and be a devastated human being to society and rejected for his love for this 12 year old girl.

Now I can understand if this girl is complaining then maybe your 'family' should take a step to separate the two, but if no complaints then why even bother trying to call the damn police? Are we that hysterical that we got to prevent that 12 year old girl from experiencing sexual orgasm? Isn't she a sexual creature? Isn't she human?

Are you doing anything to support her in her choices of sexual expression outside of condemning and incriminating the activity?

If not then there's the problem, because as soon as you criminalize and brand this 15 year old for life as the stigmatized paedophile then your little 'innocent' girl will go out and find another one, and another, and another.

Good luck and may God be with,

ioiov

[Saffron]

I'm sorry, but i have to disagree with you. A 12-year-old is a child! how can they possibly be emotionally mature enough to make a decision about sex? As a parent i would be horrified if i found my daughter having sex at the age of 12.

I also believe that it is the parents' responsibility to explain about sex being an expression of love, the consequences of an unplanned pregnancy, and the fact that your first sexual encounter should be one of love, not lust.

Whilst i have no problem with a 12 year old learning about and exploring their sexuality, I feel that full, penetrative sex at such an age is totally and utterly wrong. if a 12 year old was having sex with a 20-something, it would be paedophilia. just because the other party is 15 and legally still a child as well does not make it acceptable to me. Whilst i agree that if the sex is consensual then there is no point pressing charges for statutory rape (and anyway, as he is a minor i doubt it would go anywhere) I still do not believe they should be encouraged.

[Rights Fighter]

It's interesting that the posters who think it is perfectly OK for a 12 year old to have sex have not registered with a clickable username.

This is precisely the sort of post undercover police officers would be looking for when lurking on these sites.

I agree that there is something very wrong when a 12 year old wants to experience sex. More often than not they are missing love and affection in the family home and confuse sex with love when a boy / older boy/ man comes along offering them all sorts of goodies in exchange. It's called grooming.

And before somebody comes along to shoot me down in flames by reminding us all that in other countries/cultures girls of 12 and younger are married and start having babies, that does not make it acceptable in a wholesome civilisation. Child brides occur usually when the culture/religion dictates that men are superior and that women are no more than cooks, cleaners and baby factories.

12 year old girls are not yet fully formed and should not be indulging in sexual behaviour a) until they are physically ready b) until they are emotionally ready and c) until they have met somebody who is worth giving their bodies to.

[utterlydestroyed]

This is my third attempt to post on this thread.

I'm really going to tread (try) very, very carefully here as apparently I'm not known for my diplomacy.

This is an emotive subject which can get very hysterical without examining truths.

I recently visited, well stumbled across, an American website forum in which the question was asked at what age did the posters first have sex. It was an eye opener, even for me. In particular since many of the posters were clearly unaware of the complete illegality of the age at which most there had posted that they first had sex. Be aware some people are clearly sexualised and are clearly comfortable with sex at a lot earlier age than that which the law says is legal and at which many in society would be comfortable with the thought of. I'm not advocating it, merely just stating fact.

I have for a number of years conducted a 'straw poll' amongst gay friends asking two questions:-

1. At what age were they first aware of their 'same sex' attraction
2. At what age did they first have sex (anything beyond kissing)

Most people would be surprised at the responses.

Most 'gay' persons I know, first had sex between 12-14 yrs old...and with a peer (same) age friend (of either gender, interestingly).

Most gay persons I know, were aware of their 'same sex' attraction from as young as 7, but in general from 10 -16. Those who were later in experience practically equalled those who were earlier, in number.

Most were aware PRIOR to any actual physical sexual contact with either gender of their own 'same sex' attraction.

I have since learned that my straw poll, is not far out in its findings from more widely conducted more professional research.

I myself was sexualised at a very early age (during the 1960's). It did not worry me at the time, it did not distress me. I do get the 'abuse of trust' issue. However, what did distress me as I developed into a teenager, was overhearing adults around me expressing that 'males who had sex with males', should be killed, executed, castrated, dowsed in petrol & burned, put on an island and bombed. NICE, bearing in mind these opinions came from respected members of society and more importantly to me as a then child, persons with whom I should have been able to trust and confide in!

The people who expressed those opinions 'THEN & NOW' cause me far more distress, violated & abused me personally far far more without them even knowing it, than did the peadophile adult with whom I had sex with when I was six years old.

Mind you this was in an era when it was acceptable for teachers to throw wooden board wipes at kids, slap kids around the face, the cane, or as in my school, take a piece of tubular steel and beat a pupil with it. (happy days!)

Imagine growing up knowing that nearly every adult you knew was of the opinion YOU should be put to death, because YOU were attracted to persons of your own gender....now THAT was REAL abuse too!

I was also having sex as a child when I was aged 7-11, with many other boys of similar age through to their late teens. Hang onto your hats...because to me then, at the time, it was just loads of fun. Again I'm not advocating it, just stating what was.

To put it into context, it, 'sex', was to me then as a child just rude, like swearing or farting. It was a giggle, a laugh, with some benefits of nice physical feelings. Something you just did with some of your mates, like who could piddle the furthest up the 'bog' wall, but adults in general would not approve of. Bearing in mind, most adults dis-approved of my having my finger in my nostril digging boggas, as being rude. So it stood to reason they would not approve of me then as a kid having my hands elsewhere on another males anatomy or them on mine or any other activities of a highly intimate nature. No matter how much fun I then as a kid, might think it was and I did think it was that...just fun.

I grew up personally abused & violated far far more by those persons who expressed homophobic attitudes and opinions, than I ever was by any adult peadophile. That may be a painful and difficult truth for some to accept, but is nevertheless it is 'my truth'.

Again to put it into context, there was no violence, no physical hurt, no threat involved in my sexual experiences as a child. It was fun, I DO however appreciate that is NOT some others painful experience. I am trying to tread carefully here.

As for emotional maturity. I know some gay teenagers who are far more emotionally mature, educated & informed of sexuality, sexual health, sexual & relationship matters than that of their own adult parents.

There is always an assumption that an older person has somehow corrupted a younger person. Easy now people, but I first had full penetrative intercourse with a fouteen year old girl...when I was eleven (1970). Both parties being more than willing at the time, no both parties 'gagging' for it at the time. She was a hell of a 'snogger' as I remember, but alas..., not her name!

Again, I'm not advocating, but feel this topic of 'child sex & sexuality' needs more open honest & calm debate, understanding and realistic examination of the realities & truths, rather than tabloid headline knee jerk reactionism.

Some children 'do' have sex, some 'do' have sexual feelings, some 'do' have a clear perception of their personal sexuality. How we handle that information as adults & as a society may actually be more damaging than that of what some kids are doing...or not?

Our life experiences and knowledge are not all the same, but all equally valid.