it happened too long ago?

[Squeeze]

Can someone please point out how long you can wait after being raped before you go to the police? I was raped 2 years ago and only now have I actually come to terms with it and I feel that I am now ready to talk to them about it.

My email address is bellou97@hotmail.com

[Snoopyseed]

Hello squeeze, well done for coming to the point where you feel ready to talk about it, that must be a relief for you. I?m not going to lie to you, reporting it now would be difficult because of lack of evidence and also the fact that it happened that long ago, the police will ask you why it took so long. As I don?t know your personal circumstances it makes it hard, if for example there were witnesses or you have kept any clothing that may contain evidence and you have not washed them then this could help, but I know that this is unlikely. Also have you been to the doctors? After the attack? Doctors notes may be able to help you if there is notes on you being attacked and medical evidence to prove it, also have you had any counselling? This could help too, as it proves that something has happened to you that you needed treatment for, if you have had counselling have you been diagnosed with PTSD? This may help you too. Above all are you ready to possibly give evidence, face him in court and be prepared to have your soul laid on the line for 12 members of a jury to pick over? I don?t want to sound negative but I?m being honest. If you feel ready to do this and are determined to get the b*stard that did this to you then I say that it is worth a try but you juts have to prepare yourself for a rough time. The police may not even take it to the CPS in case of lack of evidence. You could try talking to a rape crisis unit, and see what they say and also to get some support. Right now you need a lot of caring and supportive people around you, i know i sound very negative but I?m juts letting you know what could happen, this is not to say it will happen, there have been cases where people have reported this crime years after it happened, and have got a successful conviction, but it is hard. Well done for getting to this point and if you have the fight in you then i say keep fighting and report him, as long as you know what?s involved. Have people around you that support and care for you, as you will need them and walk into that police station with your head held high. You have done nothing wrong so don?t feel ashamed or embarrassed. Everyone?s on your side, please remember that no matter how tough it gets, I?ve left my email addy if you need to talk to me, I also have a support group, let me know if you want me to send you the details.
Take care

[Sarah]

I think that you can wait up to five years to report a rape crime. Go to your local police station and ask a police officer. Don't wait too long. When I came to terms with my rape it was already too late

[raincloud]

Whilst I have the greatest of sympathy with anyone in your situation, having been the innocent wife of a man falsely accused of rape I would ask you to take great care before you start going down that road. The allegation against my husband has totally ruin our lives.

A bit of background, so you can see where I'm coming from.

The accuser made her claims to the police 3 weeks before we got married - but 18 YEARS after the alleged event. There was no evidence whatsoever, and essentially the whole case was built purely on her word. We knew nothing of this allegation until 2 weeks after returning from our honeymoon. My husband was arrested and questioned. He didnt even know who this woman was (he still doesnt), but she obviously knew of him, not difficult considering he was well known as a professional DJ and local TV presenter, and she went to the same school and lived round the corner from his parents in a small town.

I have no doubts that this woman had possibly been raped - but just not by my husband as she was claiming.

A year went on, the trial arrived and this woman sat behind a screen safe in the knowledge that the legal teams were not allowed to ask about her promiscuity, extra marital affairs, drinking and drug taking, also knowing that she has lifelong anominity. And a nice ?30k cheque for her 'suffering'! But she was found out. Her story did not stack up, the inconsistencies in her statement proved to be gaping holes. Most of all, it was obvious in court that she did not know him and that what she said had happened could not possibly have taken place as she described. But, as she has not admitted to lying, there is nothing we can do to get justice.

By contrast, an innocent man was vilified in public, had his reputation tarnished, his photo, name and address published in the newspapers - all through no fault of his own. He has now had a nervous breakdown, our marriage is in tatters and neither of us have any redress, cannot claim compensation and cannot afford a private prosecution against her to prove she lied.

What I am getting at is this.

Only report rape to the police straight after it has happened. Dont delay, dont wait, get out there and get justice. You dont wait 2 years before reporting that someone has broken into your house - you cant expect the police to do anything about that after such a long time, so why should you expect justice for a rape that happened 2 years ago??? I firmly believe that there should be a 6 month time limit, regardless of situation.

My advice would be to get a copy of the book by Louise L Hay called ' You can heal your life' and see a good therapist - ideally one who practices cognitive therapy techniques. Try that for a while, get your life back on track and forget revenge. God will punish people - and the person who raped you has to live with himself. Stop being a victim, it wont help you.

If you do decide to, despite all that - please just make sure that you get the right person. The woman who did this to us has destroyed several innocent lives, torn a family apart and drove an innocent man almost to suicide.

[teulk]

Originally posted by raincloud@5th September 2004 - 11:53 AM
Only report rape to the police straight after it has happened. Dont delay, dont wait, get out there and get justice. You dont wait 2 years before reporting that someone has broken into your house - you cant expect the police to do anything about that after such a long time, so why should you expect justice for a rape that happened 2 years ago??? I firmly believe that there should be a 6 month time limit, regardless of situation.

Quoted post

i fully understand what your saying however there are different circumstances..........my partner was raped by her father from the age of 6yrs until she was about 9rys, she was a child and knew no better this "was normal" so to speak. So where does your 6 month period stand with this case then. From my understanding of people who have been raped there is the embarrasment factor, also was it their fault it happend. As you point out to accuse someone of rape is a huge accusation to make. The problem with accusing someone of rape is how do you actually prove it, its your word against there's. In the case of my partner it all happend 30yrs ago, how could she ever prove it happend other than she says it did ?

[Snoopyseed]

Originally posted by teulk@4th November 2004 - 09:41 AM
i fully understand what your saying however there are different circumstances..........my partner was raped by her father from the age of 6yrs until she was about 9rys, she was a child and knew no better this "was normal" so to speak. So where does your 6 month period stand with this case then. From my understanding of people who have been raped there is the embarrasment factor, also was it their fault it happend. As you point out to accuse someone of rape is a huge accusation to make. The problem with accusing someone of rape is how do you actually prove it, its your word against there's. In the case of my partner it all happend 30yrs ago, how could she ever prove it happend other than she says it did ?

Quoted post

Seek legal advice, thye will be able to tell you what you can and cannot do at this moment in time.A lot of firms now offer free legal advice for the first consultation, i have just had a free legal consultation myself.They advised me on what the chances i had, and what would be involved.
Snoopy

[friday]

You dont wait 2 years before reporting that someone has broken into your house - you cant expect the police to do anything about that after such a long time, so why should you expect justice for a rape that happened 2 years ago??? I firmly believe that there should be a 6 month time limit, regardless of situation.

sorry but i have a real problem with that statement. rape is nothing like having your house broken into, other than that it is an invasion. rape effects you in the worst possible way, it can leave the victim feeling dirty, to blame, that they deserved it and many other things which are difficult to comprehend by those who have not been affected by rape. it can take time for the victim to even acknowledge it was rape.

i reported the incident a year after it happened. i was lucky in the respect that i had photographs taken of my injuries by child protection so they are admissable as evidence. i also have a statement from a nurse i was seeing for an unrelated issue who discovered the injuries and tried to encourage me to go to the police, i also have a witness who looked after me on the night it happened who was a stranger who saw me in distress.

the impact of the incident left me an emotional wreck. my mental health deteriorated resulting in numerous hospital admissions after the incident totallying 6 and a half months, some of which was detained under the mental health act. there was no way i was capable of reporting it at the time and certainly no way i could have gone through the harrowing experience called "a trial" a year later. whether it is true of all rape trials i cannot possibly say but i felt like his barrister was not only intentionally upsetting me but also making me relieve the rape but with a new rapist: the criminal justice system.

to put a time limit on reporting rape would mean even more animals would walk free. for a crime to even get to court there must be some evidence so i guess there are very few which successfully end in conviction when reported so late.

[Rights Fighter]

I've known people put in a complaint of rape more than 20 years after it occurred or allegedly occurred.