dont get me wrong, i know that false accusation happens
and i abhor it.
it ruins the lives of innocent people.
and it ruins the chances of conviction and being believed for those of us who have been raped.
but some things i find worry or just dont understand.
how is a woman being a prostitute relevent to whether she has been raped or not?
does a prostitute not have the same rights as anyone else to say no?
how is either the accusers or defendents sexual history relevent to whether a rape was committed?? (i dont believe it should be allowable for either party, defendent or accuser. .)
whether a woman has had sex with people before, or indeed with that particular person before, has no bearing on whether she consented this particular time with this particular person to that particular act, surely???
previous sexual activity does not give automatic consent to further sexual activity.
ive read so much about 'well she was a hooker' 'she slept around' 'she didnt report it immediately' ' there were no injuries' 'i know him and he doesnt seem the type' etc
and it infuriates me. because none of that makes a difference to whether a woman consented to sex on that occasion.
and then things like 'the cps allowing almost all reports to get to court with little or no evidence'
the statistics from the police refute that. 20% of reports get to court.
and statements about most reports being false allegations, with no evidence to back that up.
(retractions are not necessarily false accusations. sometimes the victim decides she just cannot go through the court process because its pretty horrible and traumatising with little chance of conviction)
or the assumption that if you know someone they cant be capable of rape.
'i know him and i know hes not lying or capapble'
i didnt think my bf was capable of rape. until he raped me. it have never crossed my mind that he might.
my childhood abuser was an upstanding member of the community. hard working, gave money to charity, wife and kids. no one would suspect him. not even his wife. because he never showed that side of his character to them. sex offenders tend not to. abusers tend not to. they can be very good at leading double lives and saying all the right things to the people who matter.
im just perplexed when i read about how 'if she acted this way or that way before or after the event she cant have been raped' and how people seem to think there are so very many false reports when there is no evidence to suggest that, aside from their own experience and anecdotal accounts. and given that the forum is for people who have been falsely accused, yes they are going to hear alot from and about people who have been falsely accused.
and im not saying i dont necessarily believe the people who are saying they have been falsely accused.
but i cant see how that is generalised to saying its a common occurance when the statistics dont point to that.
adn that alot of the 'evidence' against the accusers is just opinion about the characters of the accused and the accusers. and about attitudes towards women, re:alcohol, promiscuity,
if a man who is drunk and has slept with lots of women previously, is pinned against a wall and a woman sticks her hands down his trousers against his wishes, he would probably be discrimnated against in the sense that people assume men enjoy all sexual contact ****, but i dont think anyone would say he had been 'asking for it' or that his actions lead to it or that he should have been thinking about the fact that he might be sexually assaulted.
or if he were raped by a man. would it be a 'grey area' because he was drunk and promiscuous???
you have no reason to believe me, i know
but i know from personal experience that the most charming responsible people can also be rapists.
lilah
x
and i abhor it.
it ruins the lives of innocent people.
and it ruins the chances of conviction and being believed for those of us who have been raped.
but some things i find worry or just dont understand.
how is a woman being a prostitute relevent to whether she has been raped or not?
does a prostitute not have the same rights as anyone else to say no?
how is either the accusers or defendents sexual history relevent to whether a rape was committed?? (i dont believe it should be allowable for either party, defendent or accuser. .)
whether a woman has had sex with people before, or indeed with that particular person before, has no bearing on whether she consented this particular time with this particular person to that particular act, surely???
previous sexual activity does not give automatic consent to further sexual activity.
ive read so much about 'well she was a hooker' 'she slept around' 'she didnt report it immediately' ' there were no injuries' 'i know him and he doesnt seem the type' etc
and it infuriates me. because none of that makes a difference to whether a woman consented to sex on that occasion.
and then things like 'the cps allowing almost all reports to get to court with little or no evidence'
the statistics from the police refute that. 20% of reports get to court.
and statements about most reports being false allegations, with no evidence to back that up.
(retractions are not necessarily false accusations. sometimes the victim decides she just cannot go through the court process because its pretty horrible and traumatising with little chance of conviction)
or the assumption that if you know someone they cant be capable of rape.
'i know him and i know hes not lying or capapble'
i didnt think my bf was capable of rape. until he raped me. it have never crossed my mind that he might.
my childhood abuser was an upstanding member of the community. hard working, gave money to charity, wife and kids. no one would suspect him. not even his wife. because he never showed that side of his character to them. sex offenders tend not to. abusers tend not to. they can be very good at leading double lives and saying all the right things to the people who matter.
im just perplexed when i read about how 'if she acted this way or that way before or after the event she cant have been raped' and how people seem to think there are so very many false reports when there is no evidence to suggest that, aside from their own experience and anecdotal accounts. and given that the forum is for people who have been falsely accused, yes they are going to hear alot from and about people who have been falsely accused.
and im not saying i dont necessarily believe the people who are saying they have been falsely accused.
but i cant see how that is generalised to saying its a common occurance when the statistics dont point to that.
adn that alot of the 'evidence' against the accusers is just opinion about the characters of the accused and the accusers. and about attitudes towards women, re:alcohol, promiscuity,
if a man who is drunk and has slept with lots of women previously, is pinned against a wall and a woman sticks her hands down his trousers against his wishes, he would probably be discrimnated against in the sense that people assume men enjoy all sexual contact ****, but i dont think anyone would say he had been 'asking for it' or that his actions lead to it or that he should have been thinking about the fact that he might be sexually assaulted.
or if he were raped by a man. would it be a 'grey area' because he was drunk and promiscuous???
you have no reason to believe me, i know
but i know from personal experience that the most charming responsible people can also be rapists.
lilah
x
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