14 yr old child abuse / rape - going to court

[daffodil]

Good Evening All

I don't know my way round the justice sytem never having to have used it at all so I'm looking for advice and experiences please

Flo is now 14. Dad was violent firstly to Mum but when Flo was old enough aged 11 ish she would stand in front of Mum to protect her and the Dad would hit her instead and Mum did not do much in the way of protecting her child

Flo who was abused for about 5 years by her Dad in horrific manner, sexually, mentally and physically. She had 1 live infant at 12, 1 back street TOP at 11 and one NHS TOP at 13.
She was regularly locked in cupboards, belted, burnt etc,

Additionally she has developed epilepsy after being persued by Dad and falling down the stairs and sustaining a head injury.

Over time the now alcoholic Mum also became involved in the abuse, firstly when dad forced her to but later as a perpetrator in her own right.

Eventually Flo got help and both parents were taken into custody.

The court case is in a weeks time and she is prime witness and absolutely terrified and is debating at running away and not turning up so as not to have to face the questioning which triggers flashbacks and makes her ashamed and dirty and embarrassed - she will not have any one she knows go with her for this reason .

I understand that both Dad and Mum must have pleaded 'not guilty' to even get to trial- how can this be possible when they have DNA from the adopted infant to prove the link. Flo was interviewed extensively by video but noone has asked us her friends who encouraged her to seek help initially to be witnesses or her doctor as she developed all over psoriasis shortly after and clearly needs some PTSD help. She has never been asked about nightmares and shes not about to admit them as she thinks shes a freak anyway..

Her barrister is saying he expects 6 years for mum and minimun 8 for Dad so he must be confident in the evidence.

I understand that one scenario may be that Mum may have transferred blame onto Dad and be a witness for prosecution herself but noone seems to know or not telling Flo.

Meanwhile her guardian is estranged maternal grandfather who is telling her that if her evidence convicts his daughter she will have brought shame on the whole family and wants her to say in court she initially lied and says if he doesn't turn up, the case will be dropped and Mum can come home and all will be well.

I've got witness and victim support involved as she won't see the police liason people due to previous interviews.

I would be grateful for any advice, experiences, likely outcomes, possible scenarios ?

Many thanks

Daffodil.

[diana_holbourn]

You can try reassuring her that other people aren't going to think she's dirty. I expect most people will sympathise with her and be horrified by what she says. They won't think any of it was her fault. At such a young age, no one could possibly blame her. She's not the one who'll look bad; the parents will. Maybe you could help her see that she doesn't need to feel ashamed and dirty if you ask her whether if she heard about another child being abused, she'd think they were dirty and deserved to feel ashamed, or whether she'd blame the abusers. If she wouldn't think they were dirty and deserved to feel ashamed, then why does she think she's any different? Maybe you could ask her what she'd say to reassure and advise another child who'd been abused and was facing a court case just like hers and felt the same way. It's unlikely that other people will think badly of her. There's nothing she could possibly have done that would have meant she deserved such abuse.

At least she's got you to support her. The more support she gets, the better.

As for bringing shame on the family, some families need to risk that, in order that things change. If her guardian thinks her rights aren't important enough to be put above the family name, then he's the one bringing the real shame on the family, not her. It's far more shameful to be selfishly more concerned with the way the family looks to outsiders than with the well-being of one of its members than it is to permit certain family members to be brought to justice. If the family ends up more healthy because some of its members are taken away, that's a good thing, even if some people might think badly of them. If someone had lung cancer, it would be far better that the tumours be removed than that they were left there, even if it meant some people might shame the person having the treatment by looking down on them for having smoked too much. Families can mend themselves better if toxic members are taken away to give them a chance to heal. If there's a chance he might try to physically stop her going to court, I think you should tell Victim Support and see if they've got any advice.

Depending on the person questioning her, the questions could get nasty, but it may be that the worse they are, the more sympathy she'll get from everyone else. If she tries to think of it as a few traumatic days and then it's finished, compared to no traumatic days in court but the release of people who could abuse her for several years to come, it might help her get things in perspective. If she's been strong enough up to now, it's nearly finished, if they're convicted. She's been through most of the upsetting things already. It'll be difficult, but this time in a couple of weeks, it'll all be over.

At least with her being a child, her father won't be able to argue that she consented to sex. Having sex with someone that young is an offence no matter if it was rape or not. I don't know why they're still accepting a plea of not guilty when they have the DNA evidence. It does seem odd. But if it's brought up in court, hopefully there won't be any doubt in the jury's mind.

If she has flashbacks when she's being asked the questions, it could help a bit if she does things that remind her she's really in the present, like shuffles her feet on the floor, touches anything around her that she can, listens for any noises she can hear coming in from outside, and looks at various things. Things like that can help with flashbacks.

I think it's bad that they haven't asked the doctor to be a witness or her friends. Maybe you could ask Victim Support if they know of any way that could be changed and how it could be done.

[daffodil]

Thank you for your time and ideas Diana.

Best wishes

Daffodil