Underage, scared of outcome!

[Damoore]

I am going to try and make this as short as I can. (I am 22) The past 5 years of my life have been hell ( hernia operation, cancer scare ,pre mature ejaculation, father committing suicide) about 7 months ago my fianc?e who i have a 1 yr old child with cheated on me and then finishing me forcing me to leave my home, because i did not want to see my child homeless. It was a big strain on me, as i was and still am working 84 hours a week to support myself and my family. Ok so while i was living at my mums after the break-up I had nothing to do each night so i used the internet. I created a website about myself out of sheer boredom. The site included my e-mail-msn addy. A girl who lived near me seen my address and added me to msn, because she recognised me and thought we could have a chat,. This girl is 15 by the way. So we get talking about random shiit, i would tell her about all my problems and she would always listen, and the same went with her telling me. i suffer from major depression, but she helps me over come the strain.

Ok so I have been talking to this girl for over 6 months now. and i am back with my ex fianc?e 2. Ok the relationship is not working out, due to the reason we split. My online friend once again is there to help me through the situation. We have exchanged telephone numbers, and we call each other if we need to talk. Ok from time to times online sexual conversation has arisen, but nothing sinister, stuff like asking how many people i slept with and what I like stuff like that, You don?t think anything of it, sex is a normal day to day conversation. i am drifting a bit now. Right our chats have been going on for a long period of time. The problem being we have become attracted to one another, not due to the fact of looks or age, because of our personalities. i don?t want anything to come of it due to the age difference. but i want to carry on talking to her and seeing her. I am scared in case anyone finds out, like her folks, because lets face it i am 22, some people see that age and think SEX SEX SEX its all about SEX, but its not. We are there for moral support. We are trying to distance ourselves from the attraction by limiting the calls and texts but its hard due to certain situations we are going through. Its like she is the only person i can chat 2. She is 15 i am 22, people will think i am some kind or weirdo. Am i mental unwell for falling for a girl of such a young age. I care about her a hell of a lot. I don?t want to loose her as my best friend. I am so confused. ok she is 16 soon, but the law is not an issue because our relationship is not sexual, but other people wont take this in to account, i am 22 therefore i am an adult GROOMING a minor. Even thou i am 22 i still feel i have the mental age from when i was 17. Especially with all the mental issues i have had. I seem to be able to talk easier to females ( i am a mummy?s boy) but i always seem to click with girls younger than me. IS there something wrong with me?? I don?t want to be classes as a kiddie fiddler because i am not attracted to a girls because of there age, i am attracted to people due to the person they are. i can not open up to a counsellor, there is only so much i can tell my mum. My old friends are not eay to talk to, its all sex, drugs and booze, and i aint into that stuff.

I know this is getting long now but got a lot on my chest, i just need to get it out. i read about people who get involved with younger people (Groomers) I don?t want to be classes as them, as i am not a sexual predator. The main thing i suffer from premature ejaculation and seeking medical help for it but its not working, so i am very insecure about sex, so its not something i am looking for. I just need someone to hold and know i am cared for. This girl us helping me get on with life, i can clearly say i would not be hear today without her. shall i seek help and tell this girl it wont work and end our friendship. I am so confused, I end up crying almost every night. i feel so unloved by anybody but her and my mum. I have no male role model in my life. am i weird!! she is 15!!! Does that make me sick!!! We have talked about sexual stuff, but not about with each other. I am in too deep, its hard to walk away.

Please give advice

the last thing i want is her folks finding out and the police getting involved, its not how some people might see it.

The main thing is I dont want to have sex with her. I just need a good friend, the attraction is caring and love but in a non sexual way, we agreed that we would distance ourselves from each other. We agreed it would be for the best. But it aint workin. We kind of miss talk to each other. We end up texting to see how each other is and to make sure we are both still smilin.

I have met her a few times as she only lives around the corner from me. I have met her while she was drunken as she wanted to talk, a perfect opportunity for me to take advantage if i wanted to, but that?s not what i wanted. its hard when feelings are involved, emotions are to confusing

[diana_holbourn]

What if she introduced you to her family and they got to know you and began to trust you? Then they'd be less likely to get suspicious. Would that be an option?

How likely do you really think they are to get the police involved or think badly of you, bearing in mind that if they did find out she was having a relationship with you but she denied it was sexual, they wouldn't have any evidence?

The older people get, the less age gaps matter. If it was a 17-year-old getting together with a 23-year-old, people probably wouldn't think much of it. So it probably won't be too long before people don't think much of it. After all, it's only a 6-year age gap. It's not as if you're in your thirties or anything.

Do you have any interests you could get more involved in though to take your mind off her, and which would help to lift your depression? If you got involved with something you ended up enjoying, it would mean you weren't making yourself miserable by dwelling on your problems so much, and you wouldn't feel the need to be with her so much. Can you think of things you've enjoyed doing before that you could take up again? Even if you didn't feel up to doing them at first, once you got into them and stopped worrying so much about things, you might start to feel happier. Is there anything you can think of that you'd like to do but you've never done yet? Exercise can help depressed people feel better as well, and can sometimes be a fun activity. And maybe if you can meet other people while you're doing it, you'd make more friends, and some of them might turn out to be supportive as well as the girl. Or even if you just enjoyed yourself when you were with them, it would lift your mood a bit.