Teenagers

[Horrified Dad]

Help and advice please...

On Friday last, my 14 year old son was out with half a dozen or so friends including girls.

On meeting the group one of the girls hugged him and he jokingly for some reason said Hiya sexy, how about a b*#+ j*/ ?

She took by the arm, led him away and knelt before him and told him to get it out.

The act followed. (Very shortened version).

During the period of time, she drank vodka. She then offered him sex as he didn't respond to her actions.

He refused, she then offered sex to others in the group. All refused.

My son and a friend left the scene. She got very drunk and when she got home told her mother.

5:30 following morning, two officers at our door arresting him on suspicion of rape.

All of the folks at the police station could see what was before them but said they have to put a report to CPS.

If CPS decide to prosecute, my son will be made a criminal for being foolish enough to have been complicite in a stupid prank.

The girl has made no complaint and does not want my son to get into trouble.

Having read the 2003 Sexual Offences Act, it appears that my son could be unwittingly guilty. That is a travesty and the CID have agreed!!!

[Emma]

Hello worried dad, I am so shocked that it even went this far. It is so wrong.
The girl involved seems to have been practically throwing herself at all the youths, sounded pretty desperate really to me. It seems she is crying out for affection but the wrong kind. Your son must be very confused and stressed out by what has happened. Similary you sound pretty stressed yourself the justice system is so wrong it should go out and catch the real rapists out there not a young kid.

[Saffron]

Hello worried dad

The law is a joke, quite frankly. I am not 100% sure, but I think that as both parties were juniors, your son can't be charged with actual rape, (oral or otherwise) but as the girl was underage, he could be charged with statutory rape. Like I say, I am not sure, but a good solicitor will be able to clear things up for you.

The police/CID have no choice but to put the case to the CPS - this is an exceptionally serious allegation, and they have no choice but to investigate it fully. The best thing you can do is get your son a really good solicitor, one who specialises in sexual crimes. Contact FASO (can't remember the web address, but type it into Google and you will find it) the False Allegations Support Organisation, and they will be able to give you a list of solicitors who specialise in these sorts of cases.

Apparently the girl doesn't want to get your son into trouble, but someone else has obviously made a complaint on her behlaf. Who has told you this? One thing I would say is do not believe anything you have not heard, unless you hear it straight from the horse's mouth. This includes whatever the police/CID tell you.

The only other advice I can give you is to take this all very seriously, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. My husband and I thought our whole case was so ridiculous, we were confident justice would prevail. It didn't, and he ended up serving a prison sentence for something he didn't do.

Good luck.

Saffron

[Horrified Dad]

Thank you for your kind support.

Since yesterday, it has come to light that the girl in question had told her friends, including of them by sms that she was 'desparate' and that she intended to ask another member of the group for sex that night. It appears that my son said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

The police are aware of this information and are 'confident' that the CPS will dismiss the case. We will have to wait and see.

Even the school have offered to act as character witness for my son and they say they have information with regard to the girl.

For her part, she [the girl] has tried to talk to my son though he has told her he does not want to talk to her.

She doesn't believe that he has been bailed and she has told him that she didn't want to get him into trouble.

It would appear that most if not all of their mutual friends have chosen to support my son, that in itself is a relief. The only thing worse than being charged and convicted would be ostricisation by his friends that he has grown up with.

[Saffron]

I have to say, it sounds very unlikely that the CPS will prefer charges, but one can never be certain. If you have read some of the stories on this site you will be aware that horrific miscarriages of justice happen all the time. Our rape and sexual crime justice system is riddled with inaccuracies, inconsistencies, half truths and terrible wrongs on both sides.

Under no circumstances should your son talk to this girl. In fact, you should report the fact that she has tried to contact him to the police. If your son does talk to her, whether at her instigation or not, it could seriously damage his chances of walking away from this without charge. Additionally, I would urge your son not to get involved in the gossip and rumour mill that will be going into overdrive - he needs to keep as far away from all the "he said, she said" stuff as possible.

As I said, I can't see the CPS going for this one, especially given the statements from her friends that she fully intended to have sex that night. However (and just playing devil's advocate, putting things from the standpoint of the CSPS) just because she was in the mood for sex doesn't mean she wasn't raped.

Unfortunately, the public (and therefore the political) pressure on crimes of this sort has become so great that the CPS are inclined to "give it a whirl" on the flimsiest of evidence, simply so that they can say they have "done their bit" in increasing the conviction rates.

Let us know how you get on. Thinking of you.

Saffron

[Horrified Dad]

08:45 Thursday 22/09/2005

Unbelievable relief!

I have just spoken to one of the investigating CID officers and she has told me that they are not even going to pass the case to the CPS!!!!!!!

The Police have been exceptionally pragmatic and have taken the onlly sensible course of action under the circumstances.

I haven't even had chance to tell my wife and or my son yet.

Only one problem...

The case has been entered onto the Police Intelligence system which means that it may harm his chances of working in certian professions if and when CRB checks have to be carried out. I am angry and sad about that, but it seems I cannot do anything about it. It seems that this is the fall out from Police and educational authorities' incompetence which resulted in the Soham murders. Little could I ever suspect at the time of that case that my family would be impacted by it. It goes to show that no man is an island.

I hope that we can now move forward from this sad event stronger and wiser. Our family bonds have been strengthened and has reminded us how important love and family support really is.

I sincerely hope that all of you who are experiencing the horror of sexual crimes and the justice system will find some hope in our story and strength to move on.

Thank you to those who have offered us advice and hope.

Recovering Dad.

[Saffron]

Great news!

It does seem harsh that the accusation made against your son will be on his record forever, but it is better than having a conviction or charges on there. It is not fair that an innocent boy should suffer because of the gross incompetencies of the police over a terrible case like Holly and Jessica's. But at least he does not face charges or a trial.

Well done for being so supportive and strong for your son.

[Horrified Dad]

Again, thanks for your kind words.

Interestingly, it appears that the accuser who has tried over the last few days to communicate with my son over the matter has now found that there are rumours circulating the school.

The main point being that there were half a dozen kids at the scene at the time of the incident and my son has no wish to discuss the matter with anyone, let alone be part of the rumour mill.

The girl has now apparently threatened to change her story if the rumours persist.

Below is a copy of the email that I have sent to the Head of Year at the school:


Dear ########,

Thank you for your kind words and support on Monday.

I have been informed by ######## CID that they will not be referring the matter to the CPS as they see the incident for what it really is.

There is a problem, however. It appears that the young lady in question has been attempting to talk to ########. He is under instruction no talk to her under any circumstances.

######## has indeed told me that he has no intention of ever talking to her again.

The young lady is accusing ######## of spreading rumours. I am sure you will agree that I don't think ######## would want to talk about the matter to anyone, let alone spread rumours.

Today, his form teacher apparently told ######## that you spoke to him saying that [the girl] has made a complaint against ######## regarding spreading rumours.

I have asked whether he has spread any rumours and he says that he hasn't.

We must remember that there were at least half a dozen people at the scene on Friday.

Also, today, ######## has been told by a third party that apparently [the girl] has said to the third party that if ######## says anything more to anyone, then she will, allegedly; 'Turn my story against him'.

I must tell you that I will treat any threat like this, (if true), most severely and I will bring charges if it persists. I apologise if this seems harsh, but I am not prepared to have ######## harassed in such a manner.

Having spoken to ######## CID today, they have reassured me that they are of the opinion that it would not be in the public interest for them to pursue the issue further and will not be referring it to the CPS. This is a highly unusual situation, for which we are very relieved. There is a down-side however, the young lady's false allegations have resulted in ########'s name and the details of the case being entered onto the Police National Computer Intelligence system for future reference. This means that he may well be barred from working in certain fields should he so wish. Something which upsets and angers me greatly. Although he has not been charged or convicted, he has been effectively judged. This is quite unfair, so I am not going to be very sympathetic to anyone who has it in their mind to cause further damage!

Again, I am very sorry to have to be dealing with this matter, as I am sure we all are, but I will defend my son with the full force of the law if necessary.

Yours faithfully,

########


I will not tolerate my son being treated in the manner being described to me and fully understand those of you who are in similar and worse situations. You have my sympathy.

[mol12]

Iwish you and your family all the very best for the future, and you will put this this ordeal behind you,
one more voice to help others I hope that you under stand.
best wishes J&H

[maria]

good luck and tell your son to stay well clear of her she could end up a very dangerous young lady if she is attension seeking tell your lad to stay well away and not even talk 2 her x