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I have just spent the last seven months being abused by the system over access rights and parental responsibilities.
although long my story is outlined below maybe somebody can help or advise me on the legalities within the story.
As I sit here after reading posts from many people in many different walks of life
I have come to the conclusion that I finally must admit I have a loosing battle on my hands. But then again people power can aid in turning the battle around in favour of the underdog.
I considered myself a good husband but somewhere along the line my ex and I got divorced, so there must have been some major issues in our life, I admit that, but this is not about our issues its about what?s right for our son. The one thing nobody can argue is the fact that I was and still am a good father. People seem to forget in times of arguments and especially after a separation or divorce. That it?s not about the parents and their issues it is about the children and the effect upon their emotional growth and stability.
For the love of the children; for the love of the children people; not personalities:
The simple fact is;
Ignoring personal issues, between two people
There becomes a time when one of the parents must look further than the personal issues between consenting adults married people and divorced parents, clouding the rights of a child to see both their parents. A responsible parent must make a decision based upon what is happening and assess the impact on the child concerned.
Then let me put this to you.
Is it not far better for the absent parent in circumstance where the two parties cannot get on and disagree about everything including access rights, to show true love to his child and walk away for the sake of the Childs welfare?
My son will come looking for me one day; I know and feel that in my heart.
So to carry on with this pretence that the law will assure me of a fair trial and to counter attack every false allegation made by my ex wife, just prolongs the agony further and causes emotional distress for my child.
What if I was to get access to my son and these allegations kept coming,
Will I keep getting arrested, yes or no!!!!
If I keep getting arrested then my son will be in the middle again and I certainly don?t want and am not prepared for this to happen.
The bitterness showed by my ex and the continual provocations to make me fire back; can certainly not be in the best interests of the child and the child?s welfare. neither can my bitterness as shown in some of these threads.
The law as it stands allows my ex carte blanche to do as she pleases, and this is wrong, until the law is changed to stop people who use their child as a bargaining tool, all parents will have an up hill struggle.
Nobody can love a child if they are using them as a tool to hurt somebody else, nobody!!! So in my opinion people should consider this in future, instead of thinking they are the only people getting hurt here, it?s not about your hurt or my hurt it?s about the child?s hurt.
I am not trying to be a martyr here I am just beginning to understand I have no real rights under the law, and because of this my relationship with my son is being severely damaged.
If you knew? That whatever the outcome of the court case was, that these allegations and spitefulness would not go away, then you must understand the hurt my son must be feeling will magnify if I have access.
There will be a time when my ex makes an allegation I cannot accept, and this will make me fire back. When I do this my son will, be taken away from me forever. If this was a man doing this we would be discussing this on a field somewhere until it was resolved, in other words I would be having a rational discussion with him over it?
But it?s not a man-----it?s a woman and men do not use their physical strength to control and dominate a woman no matter the provocation.
All because the law is wrong and allows people like my ex to abuse a privilege, just to get back at me out of spite, hatred, or hurt. All because if I used my strength to control or dominate my ex wife I will get arrested and sent to prison, yet she can abuse me as much as she likes. So we just have to accept it???? Don?t we! For if we don?t we become part of that malicious intent to control.
All those people who have gone through this situation and all those currently going through this situation will hopefully understand what I am saying. Absent parents who want to see their children but are being blocked by the resident parent are in a catch 22 situation.
Is it better to walk away or fight for what?s right.
If you fight for what?s right and it affects your relationship with your child, causing them to become withdrawn, introverted; and eventually an emotionally insecure individual in life, even though my ex is doing this; then should you go into that fight in the first place.
Lets face it people!! Children do not like to get dragged into these things and it is and will be embarrassing for them at school, if it becomes an issue at school it will certainly affect their work and their personality.
One parent has to be responsible and make an informed decision that ensures your child?s emotional growth is unaffected by circumstance and bitterness.
Yes I have a right to see my son as my son has a right to see me, I will fight anybody who tries to damage that relationship but I understand I would never put my son in a position where he had to choose and would certainly never put him in a position where he could be emotionally affected.
Unfortunately as the law stands this is happening; in my opinion his mother is only concerned about using him as a tool, so it is down to the responsible adult to make the decision that will best suit him however much it hurts inside your heart.
A child needs both parents, a child needs his father, but in today?s society a child has other parent?s grandparent?s auntie?s uncle?s brother?s sisters to turn to for support. A child certainly does not need to be used as a bargaining tool by one of those parents.
My grandparents used to say what goes around comes around son you just have to bide your time, so true!!!! So true!!!.
So here is my dilemma What Do I Do!!!
Fight to see my son because it?s hurting my heart and still keep being abused by the system, causing him more and more heartache.
Or do what truly is right taking all the factors into consideration.
And before anybody says you can?t be a loving father to say that?? BOLL***!!!!!
It isn?t about me it is about what is best for my son.
One day the government will be held responsible for its actions ONE DAY!!!!!
And before anybody says this is a man having a whinge about his ex wife I say again BOLLO***
It?s about looking into your heart and doing the right thing under the current circumstances, evaluating future responses based on current activity and making an informed decision as to which direction to go down to ensure your child?s, current and future social and emotional growth and needs are not affected.
In my opinion the only thing I can now do is fight for the future rights of children in the same position now, that?s why it is important to sign my petition. Nobody can as the law stands do anything for parental rights, so lets not let this happen to anybody else folks, lets use our heart and soul to ensure future equal rights for absent parents, as long as there has been no misdoings to the child or partner.
Children have rights parents have responsibilities!!!!
My Petition
http://www.petitiononline.com/jcpet1/petition.html
although long my story is outlined below maybe somebody can help or advise me on the legalities within the story.
As I sit here after reading posts from many people in many different walks of life
I have come to the conclusion that I finally must admit I have a loosing battle on my hands. But then again people power can aid in turning the battle around in favour of the underdog.
I considered myself a good husband but somewhere along the line my ex and I got divorced, so there must have been some major issues in our life, I admit that, but this is not about our issues its about what?s right for our son. The one thing nobody can argue is the fact that I was and still am a good father. People seem to forget in times of arguments and especially after a separation or divorce. That it?s not about the parents and their issues it is about the children and the effect upon their emotional growth and stability.
For the love of the children; for the love of the children people; not personalities:
The simple fact is;
Ignoring personal issues, between two people
There becomes a time when one of the parents must look further than the personal issues between consenting adults married people and divorced parents, clouding the rights of a child to see both their parents. A responsible parent must make a decision based upon what is happening and assess the impact on the child concerned.
Then let me put this to you.
Is it not far better for the absent parent in circumstance where the two parties cannot get on and disagree about everything including access rights, to show true love to his child and walk away for the sake of the Childs welfare?
My son will come looking for me one day; I know and feel that in my heart.
So to carry on with this pretence that the law will assure me of a fair trial and to counter attack every false allegation made by my ex wife, just prolongs the agony further and causes emotional distress for my child.
What if I was to get access to my son and these allegations kept coming,
Will I keep getting arrested, yes or no!!!!
If I keep getting arrested then my son will be in the middle again and I certainly don?t want and am not prepared for this to happen.
The bitterness showed by my ex and the continual provocations to make me fire back; can certainly not be in the best interests of the child and the child?s welfare. neither can my bitterness as shown in some of these threads.
The law as it stands allows my ex carte blanche to do as she pleases, and this is wrong, until the law is changed to stop people who use their child as a bargaining tool, all parents will have an up hill struggle.
Nobody can love a child if they are using them as a tool to hurt somebody else, nobody!!! So in my opinion people should consider this in future, instead of thinking they are the only people getting hurt here, it?s not about your hurt or my hurt it?s about the child?s hurt.
I am not trying to be a martyr here I am just beginning to understand I have no real rights under the law, and because of this my relationship with my son is being severely damaged.
If you knew? That whatever the outcome of the court case was, that these allegations and spitefulness would not go away, then you must understand the hurt my son must be feeling will magnify if I have access.
There will be a time when my ex makes an allegation I cannot accept, and this will make me fire back. When I do this my son will, be taken away from me forever. If this was a man doing this we would be discussing this on a field somewhere until it was resolved, in other words I would be having a rational discussion with him over it?
But it?s not a man-----it?s a woman and men do not use their physical strength to control and dominate a woman no matter the provocation.
All because the law is wrong and allows people like my ex to abuse a privilege, just to get back at me out of spite, hatred, or hurt. All because if I used my strength to control or dominate my ex wife I will get arrested and sent to prison, yet she can abuse me as much as she likes. So we just have to accept it???? Don?t we! For if we don?t we become part of that malicious intent to control.
All those people who have gone through this situation and all those currently going through this situation will hopefully understand what I am saying. Absent parents who want to see their children but are being blocked by the resident parent are in a catch 22 situation.
Is it better to walk away or fight for what?s right.
If you fight for what?s right and it affects your relationship with your child, causing them to become withdrawn, introverted; and eventually an emotionally insecure individual in life, even though my ex is doing this; then should you go into that fight in the first place.
Lets face it people!! Children do not like to get dragged into these things and it is and will be embarrassing for them at school, if it becomes an issue at school it will certainly affect their work and their personality.
One parent has to be responsible and make an informed decision that ensures your child?s emotional growth is unaffected by circumstance and bitterness.
Yes I have a right to see my son as my son has a right to see me, I will fight anybody who tries to damage that relationship but I understand I would never put my son in a position where he had to choose and would certainly never put him in a position where he could be emotionally affected.
Unfortunately as the law stands this is happening; in my opinion his mother is only concerned about using him as a tool, so it is down to the responsible adult to make the decision that will best suit him however much it hurts inside your heart.
A child needs both parents, a child needs his father, but in today?s society a child has other parent?s grandparent?s auntie?s uncle?s brother?s sisters to turn to for support. A child certainly does not need to be used as a bargaining tool by one of those parents.
My grandparents used to say what goes around comes around son you just have to bide your time, so true!!!! So true!!!.
So here is my dilemma What Do I Do!!!
Fight to see my son because it?s hurting my heart and still keep being abused by the system, causing him more and more heartache.
Or do what truly is right taking all the factors into consideration.
And before anybody says you can?t be a loving father to say that?? BOLL***!!!!!
It isn?t about me it is about what is best for my son.
One day the government will be held responsible for its actions ONE DAY!!!!!
And before anybody says this is a man having a whinge about his ex wife I say again BOLLO***
It?s about looking into your heart and doing the right thing under the current circumstances, evaluating future responses based on current activity and making an informed decision as to which direction to go down to ensure your child?s, current and future social and emotional growth and needs are not affected.
In my opinion the only thing I can now do is fight for the future rights of children in the same position now, that?s why it is important to sign my petition. Nobody can as the law stands do anything for parental rights, so lets not let this happen to anybody else folks, lets use our heart and soul to ensure future equal rights for absent parents, as long as there has been no misdoings to the child or partner.
Children have rights parents have responsibilities!!!!
My Petition
http://www.petitiononline.com/jcpet1/petition.html
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