Please help!

[shaz36]

As a family we have just been through the worst couple of days ever. My husband was taken into custody accused of rape by an underage girl. She has now retracted her statement and admitted it was all lies. What I would like to know is there any help out there for us? The police have just told us to forget it and get on with our lives. My husband was put through an ordeal he should not have had to endure, but fully accepted that procedures had to be followed.
We feel let down completely that the police have no support for those wrongly accused for whatever reason. It doesnt only affect the accused it affects the whole family unit. Im scared for my kids, and just want advice as to how to get on with our every day life.

[Saffron]

Originally posted by shaz36@4th May 2005 - 03:21 PM
As a family we have just been through the worst couple of days ever. My husband was taken into custody accused of rape by an underage girl. She has now retracted her statement and admitted it was all lies. What I would like to know is there any help out there for us? The police have just told us to forget it and get on with our lives. My husband was put through an ordeal he should not have had to endure, but fully accepted that procedures had to be followed.
We feel let down completely that the police have no support for those wrongly accused for whatever reason. It doesnt only affect the accused it affects the whole family unit. Im scared for my kids, and just want advice as to how to get on with our every day life.

Quoted post

Hi Shaz36

There is loads of support for wrongly accused people, but unfortunately no-one ever finds it until they have already been in this horrendous situation.

Your husband's accuser has admitted her accusation was false, and therefore should be prosecuted for wasting police time and making a malicious accusation. This is a genuine crime, but for some reason the police don't ever seem to want to know, mainly because it is not deemed to be "in the public interests", and also because there is some feeling that highlighting false rape accusations may discourage genuine victims from coming forward. Of course, highlighting and punishing false accusers would dramatically reduce the number of people who make false allegations, but that does not seem to be a priority.

What you need to decide as a family is whether you want to see this girl punished for making up such a vile story, and for the trauma she has put you all through. If you do, then you need to report it to the police.

If you visit Val Lavender's site at www.kotae.co.uk and click the JGC button, you will find loads of helpful advice on how to make the police investigate your complaint. It can be tough to make them take action, but Val's site will offer you step by step advice.

False allegations of rape and indecent assault are a subject that everyone on this site feels very strongly about. Personally, I would genuinely want justice to prevail, and see this girl punished. That is a choice only you and your husband can make. However I would say that if no-one ever pursues justice for those falsely accused, the situation will just get worse.

Believe me, you are fortunate that the charges have been dropped. It may be easier for you to just get on with your lives, but having some sort of "closure" will certainly help. Do let us know what you decide to do. Good luck.

Saffron

[diana_holbourn]

On the other hand, if you try to get her punished, it's possible that she'll say she lied when she said the allegations weren't true after all because she was scared of the court proceedings and decided she couldn't face going through with them, or that one of his friends intimidated her, or something. She could say it was true after all, and then your husband could be facing a full-blown rape charge again.

If you'd prefer to just try to move on, but would like a supportive environment to talk things through and discuss any worries about future problems, you might find support here.

There's an email list that might also be helpful, where you might get quite a lot of advice on a range of issues, here: http://www.a-team.org/false_accusation_list.html

[shaz36]

Thank you for your advice. We are bearing up well and due to a close knitwork of friends, family and neighbours we are being fully supported.
We are very lucky in the fact that cctv footage proof was made available to the police to prove that my husband had in fact not committed this offence, thus meaning the girl is unable to retract her statement again. In short we have been told he was only arrested to further confirm what the cctv was already telling them. A fact I find very hard to accept but on the other hand as the girl is a minor I sort of understand their reasoning.
We have decided not to ask for her to be prosecuted for a number of reasons:
1. We are luckier than most in the fact the investigation did not get that far.
2. As she is a minor we are hoping that the police or other departments will get this child the help she so obviously needs.
3. We want to move on and try and put it behind us.

Thank you again and although we have decided to put this behind us I will continue to visit this site and try to give support to others in the same situation or anyone who needs help.

Thank you

Sharon.

[diana_holbourn]

I'm glad to hear you're being well supported and that there isn't any danger of your husband facing the false accusation from her again.

Thank you for offering to support people here. That's appreciated.

[maria]

hi i feel this girl should be punish this is how the girl who accused my son started and she ended up accusing several others this is the only way it will stop, we need to put a STOP to this NOW before anymore people have to go through the harrowing nightmare of it all just remember what this sort of allegation can do to people and there families it kills it destroys and it rips people lives apart x

[diana_holbourn]

This is why I think a false accusers register would be a good idea. If her name, and the names of others, was to go on one, and it was circulated to police forces around the country, then if she ever makes another rape accusation, they can look more thoroughly into whether that one might be false, and maybe get a psychologist to speak to her to help them find out.

[Lorna M]

Hello to all of you who support and understand what I am about to discuss.

11 months ago my husband stupidly and devastatingly cheated on me but was accused of rape the next morning. Having voluntarily taken himself to the local police he was cautioned, detained and charged over the following horrific 16 hours. This happened purely because there was evidence of intercourse (which he NEVER denied). He took the police to the place where intercourse occured and withheld nothing of this stupid mutual drunken event ( the accuser WAS my friend). He asked them to research CCTV coverage of the area. Police even stated there was nothing to suggest malice or force. Over the following weeks the police even told my husband that she had called them several times wishing to stop the charge as' it was true but she just didnt want anything to be done about it'. She was warned of the implications to her of doing so;so she let things carry on.

This case has proceeded on the strength of a statement of a sobering female who realised she had done wrong by me and feared the confession of my husband to me and its consequences. Either that was her reason- or she was so drunk she cannot remember the finer points of being ' up for it'. All other people in her company that evening have given statements to the effect that she was indeed very openly ' up for it'.

I have been interviewed by the Crown and have even had to discuss my sexual relationship with my husband in detail. Though I have been wronged by him, I totally believe in his innocence of crime.

A preliminary trial date has now been set. I can barely believe it. We had such faith in the 'system' seeing sense.


This isnt going away. Police have served 3 Notices reference the trial in the last week. Our son asks why they have been here. My husband is a broken ashamed man. We are all guilty of doing silly things now and again but what a way to pay. Our lives are being torn apart by this false acusation. Where in God's name can we go from here? Where can we get strength to get through this please?

[maria]

hi lorna going by what you have said i think your husband might be found not guilty she was obviously up for it i can't see how they can say that it was rape he also seems to have plenty of witnesses so good luck and keep us informed he will be ok its a hard time to go through but in your case i feel he should be ok x

[val lavender]

Hi there all
[font=Fixedsys]
this is precisely the situation that JGC was set up to deal with, the websites been down for a little while for "technical reasons" but ought to be up again by the middle of next week.

In the mean time JGC can be contacted on 07985 507364 or 078866 17876 or PO Box 646 Norwich NR2 2WD

If you want to talk to FASO, they can be contacted from 18.00 - 00.00 on weekday nights via 0870 2416650 and their false rape allegations specialist is usually on every Monday night.

If people like this are not brought to justice they usually go on to make further false allegations untill they are stopped, ruining countless lives in the process.

Joh, Gary and Caroline of JGC have succesfully forced the police to act against such people on a number of occasions so give them a try. They can give you references via peopl that they have assisted in the past nd will probably be only too pleased to take your case on.


Regards

[diana_holbourn]

Val, please can you clarify whether these people are offering their services for free, or at what point they begin charging, and if they do, how much?

[val lavender]

Hi There
Im glad you asked that question, though I apolgise that the answer is a little complex

FASO i a totally voluntary service, that offers a manned [& womaned] P2P helpline between 18.00 and 00.00 on weekdays. We are looking to expand this service to include weekends. FASO charges a ?10 per annum fee to those who can afford it, to cover the cost of the PO Bo, helpline charges,stationary etc. If someone cannot afford ?10 we dont worry about it. We never turn anyone away and will attempt to provide quasi-legal advice, common sense and, if required, a shoulder to cry on. We also attempt to do a series of prison visits every three months and will attend trials to provide moral support.

JGC is a collection of ex-police, probation service and social workers who will attempt to provide active support such as statement taking, reasearch, document analysis, location of expert witnesses and any other legal activerty tht will asist in proceedings beingdropped, defence at trial or support of appeal. In terms of charges, JGC ask that theit costs, interms of Fuel, postage, stationary and telephone calls be covred. A detailed estimate will be provided before hand, receipts obtained and any surplus funds returned. There is no charge made for time andno intention to make a profit as all JGC caseworker are volunteers who give their time freely.

The other function of JGC, once the accused is "of the hook" is to force the police to act againt false accuser, who, once convicted of perverting the course of justice can be sued [ie the "MARTIN gARFOOT CASE =?400,000.00 - though he only recovered ?176,000.00] This also opens the door for actions against thepolice and CPS for misconduct.
JGC ask that a sensible donaion be made by the eventual victor to JGC and FASO, thoufg this is purely at the discretion of the false allegation victim.

Additionally, JGC have contacts with a number of media organisations and are prepered to broker teh rights to the falsly accused's story [some people are too embarresed to ask journolists for cash- but without stories how do they fill their pages] In return JGC ask that an agreed but discrtionary percentage be paid, voluntarily, to the various support organisations in order that those who are left destitute by the actions of false accusers can be fully supported.

Unless some way of funding is found for the various support teams thy will cease to exist, the sheer volume of calls underlines the need for their survival.

If anyone has a better plan, or knows of any potential sponsors we would love to hear from them. The fact has ti faced that, as the various support groupsare seen to be "anti establishment, it is highly unlikely thst we will ever get teh kind of government financial support that is enjoyed by the rape crisis centres and Womens Aid.
I hope this clarifies the situation. Should you wish to take up references as to the dedication, enthusiasm and honesty of JGC please PM me and I will put you onto people we have helped.

I hope this clarifies the situation



Regards