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**diana_holbourn** · 16 March 2005, 07:53 PM

They don't seem to be trying very hard! Don't they also have his address? Where would the country be if police could never convict any criminals because the only thing they ever did in trying to track them down was to phone them up if they knew their phone numbers and request interviews, or else do nothing if they didn't know them!

And I'm sure that if they were really trying, they'd be able to pick a time when the parents would be more likely to be in! How about midnight, or tea-time, or early Sunday morning ...?! Could you fill them in at all on the parents' habits so they've got a clearer idea of when to phone, since they seem to need a bit of help?! It's about time they began to take this more seriously!

**Stacey** · 16 March 2005, 08:48 PM

This is exactly what I have been saying!! I made a complain as val suggested I should. I asid to them that if all else fails, then they need to go to their house and meet them personally. After all, I gave them a lot of information, names, addresses, numbers, even numbers for where they work. I don't feel I'm being taken seriously at all to be honest. I hope it improves. No wonder so many people choose not to go through with this.

**Saffron** · 17 March 2005, 12:27 PM

Originally posted by Stacey@16th March 2005 - 09:48 PM
This is exactly what I have been saying!! I made a complain as val suggested I should. I asid to them that if all else fails, then they need to go to their house and meet them personally. After all, I gave them a lot of information, names, addresses, numbers, even numbers for where they work. I don't feel I'm being taken seriously at all to be honest. I hope it improves. No wonder so many people choose not to go through with this.

Quoted post

This is absolutely astonishing. I am disgusted with the attitude of the police. Write to your MP - politicians have come under massive pressure recently about rape convictions, and the way complainants are treated. He/she will be obliged to respond. you can also go to the Police Complaints Commission and register a formal complaint.
Good luck!

**Stacey** · 17 March 2005, 02:55 PM

More progress, if only minimal. The parents of J have phoned back the police, and are arranging to go in for questioning. He hasn't been arressted, just invited to go and speak to them. As far as I can see, it isn't J but his dad that is sorting everything out. They're probably pretty worried, since J's dad is very important in his field and this is gonna cause a major scandal in their area.
What are people's views on how I can pursue this? I want to make sure that people hear about this because I don't think I'm being dealt with very well at all. Should I write to my MP now, or wait til it's been finished with? I'm thinking potentially of taking things as far as I can without incriminating myself, really.

**Saffron** · 17 March 2005, 04:28 PM

Originally posted by Stacey@17th March 2005 - 03:55 PM
More progress, if only minimal. The parents of J have phoned back the police, and are arranging to go in for questioning. He hasn't been arressted, just invited to go and speak to them. As far as I can see, it isn't J but his dad that is sorting everything out. They're probably pretty worried, since J's dad is very important in his field and this is gonna cause a major scandal in their area.
What are people's views on how I can pursue this? I want to make sure that people hear about this because I don't think I'm being dealt with very well at all. Should I write to my MP now, or wait til it's been finished with? I'm thinking potentially of taking things as far as I can without incriminating myself, really.

Quoted post

Hi Stacey

Don't worry too much about him not having been arrested yet. They will probably arrest him when he turns up at the police station. My husband went in voluntarily when he found out that he had been accused. He phoned the police and was told to come in to "answer a few questions" and was arrested on the steps of the station.

I would wait and see what happens when he goes in. As you have reported the rape, and given the police the name of your attacker, they have an obligation to examine his version of events, they cannot just ignore it. When he goes in, he will probably be arrested, questioned, examined, and then he will probably be released on bail pending the results of the forensics. One of the conditions of his bail will be that he does not contact you, or attempt to contact you via a 3rd party. If he does, you can report him, and he may be remanded in custody as he will have violated his bail conditions.

If this procedure is not followed, then get your pen out.

Let us know how you get on.

Saffron x

**JaneyM** · 19 March 2005, 03:22 PM

Originally posted by Stacey@17th March 2005 - 03:55 PM
More progress, if only minimal. The parents of J have phoned back the police, and are arranging to go in for questioning. He hasn't been arressted, just invited to go and speak to them. As far as I can see, it isn't J but his dad that is sorting everything out. They're probably pretty worried, since J's dad is very important in his field and this is gonna cause a major scandal in their area.
What are people's views on how I can pursue this? I want to make sure that people hear about this because I don't think I'm being dealt with very well at all. Should I write to my MP now, or wait til it's been finished with? I'm thinking potentially of taking things as far as I can without incriminating myself, really.

Quoted post

Stacey,

I just wondered if any more progress had been made? Do you think they are delaying because of who his dad is? I know they shouldn't but surely they would get him in for questioning asap? They did as far as I know in my husbands case they had his mobile number but didn't even try to contact him.

Janey

**Stacey** · 19 March 2005, 06:38 PM

Nothing as yet Janey, thank you for asking. I'm not sure how much his dad's status would affect things at this stage. Not to identify him, but the police here in my university city probably wouldn't know who he was, since it's quite far from the perpetrators home town. I was told that I would be informed when and if he is released from questioning.

**Stacey** · 22 March 2005, 08:39 PM

Nothing as yet. Is this actually taking a long time, or am I just being impatient?? I suppose it feels like a long time because I'm stressing about it. Oh well, hopefully I will have something more interesting to post soon.

**diana_holbourn** · 22 March 2005, 09:00 PM

I wonder if the reason they don't seem to be taking it very seriously is that they know that if it goes to court, the defence will have one huge opportunity to try to discredit you, in that you were already under his duvet when it happened. I'm sure you know you'll have to prepare to give a convincing reason for why you were there innocently, because they're almost certain to ask something like, "Surely, anyone who lies under a man's duvet is giving the impression that they want sex with him" or "What were you doing there if you didn't want sex?" They'll probably try to use it to score a big point, both when they're questioning you and when they're summing up, either arguing that you must have wanted sex if you were there, or that you were unwise to have been there and you must have given him the impression that you wanted sex and so he can't be blamed for doing what he did. That's The way they operate. police may think you're bound to be discredited by this and so the jury will be bound to acquit your rapist, and so there isn't any point investing the time and effort in trying to prosecute him.

I think you should challenge them to give you a very honest answer about why it's taking so long.

**Stacey** · 22 March 2005, 09:05 PM

You might just be onto something I fear...I was under his duvet on my own, he was on the other side of the room tidying some of his stuff away. He had a basement room that had no heating in it, so it was freezing cold.
I know they're going to use it and I suppose I knew it all along, but that's the truth of why I was there *sigh* I am losing hope by the day. I should never have bothered really.

**diana_holbourn** · 22 March 2005, 09:17 PM

There might be hope. Remember the person who accused Saffron's husband was in bed, had taken all her clothes off, and yet the jury still found him guilty! If you can assure the police that you're going to be able to give a convincing reason why you felt the need to be under the duvet, i.e. that it was so cold, and why you had a good reason to be in that room rather than in any other room, then you will hopefully be able to convince them to prosecute, if that is the reason they're hesitating. If they think you're going to make a good witness so the case is more likely to succeed, they're more likely to prosecute.

**Saffron** · 23 March 2005, 07:37 AM

Originally posted by Stacey@22nd March 2005 - 10:05 PM
You might just be onto something I fear...I was under his duvet on my own, he was on the other side of the room tidying some of his stuff away. He had a basement room that had no heating in it, so it was freezing cold.
I know they're going to use it and I suppose I knew it all along, but that's the truth of why I was there *sigh* I am losing hope by the day. I should never have bothered really.

Quoted post

Hi Stacey

Don't lose hope. As you said, he was a friend of yours, and you had been in his bed in an entirely platonic way several times before. You had no reason to believe that he would think it a sexual invitation.

If it does get to court, as I said before, the jury will almost certainly believe your word over his. There will automatically be a certain degree of sympathy towards you. If you are lucid, articulate and intelligent (which you certainly seem to be, judging by your posts) you should have very little difficulty persuading the jury.

I agree with Diana in that you should ask the police straight exactly what their thoughts are about the case. If they are wavering about whether to take it further you may be able to convince them of the strength of your case.

Keep fighting the good fight, keep us updated. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.

Saffron

**Stacey** · 23 March 2005, 09:16 AM

Thank you Saffron, it is quite difficult to stay positive at times! I have phoned the police again this morning and I'm MEGA cross, as I still don't feel like anything's being done. I'll tell you what happened, hopefully one of you may know how best to proceed from here!
Got through to the station and was given the name of the DS on my case, and was told he was in the station that day and so I could be put through to him. then when they did, a woman told me he was actually on holiday. So, quite reasonably I reckon, I'm a bit hacked off that not only is nothing being done while he's away, there's no one available in the station to even let me know where it's at...Grrr!! So I asked for the number for their Professional Standards department, which they said they would phone me back with. They did so five minutes later, saying that in the mean time they had phoned up the DS at home to ask him. He's said that there's a delay because J has gone home for the holidays, although I'm not sure why that makes a difference, since he has been 'asked to come in and answer a few questions'. Does he get to go home for the holidays without doing so?? the holidays are four weeks long, so I'm assuming they'll want to speak to him before then??
I don't know much about these things, but it just doesn't seem good enough to me. They've taken a month to even get in contact with J, and now the person that's supposed to be dealing with me has gone on holiday so nothing can be done for another two weeks. I've been trying to get through to Professional Standards, but it's been engaged so far. I don't know whether I'm being rash or unreasonable, is this all acceptable or do I have something to complain about??
EDIT: Just had a phonecall saying they plan to arrest him when he comes back after the holidays...in four weeks time. They said that while he's in his home town, at least he's not nearby to bother me, so I shouldn't be worried. This is just getting ridiculous.

**Saffron** · 24 March 2005, 10:32 AM

This is outrageous behaviour. He should have a warrant out for his arrest. he should be taken in immediately and questioned, regardless of whether he has "gone home for the holidays". This is disgusting. Contact the police complaints commission - there is an email form on their website which allows you to make your complaint immediately.

I would go down the the police station, and refuse to leave until they do something! This is absolutely disgraceful.

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