The Stacey Report

[Stacey]

I'm glad somebody else thinks so, I was worried I was just being impatient. I'm going to make a complaint right away. I rang the STAR project this morning, who offer a case tracking service for rape victims so that they don't have to phone up themselves. They've called for me this morning and told me they're planning to 'arrest him sooner than planned' after I made a fuss yesterday. It worries me what they would have done had I not made that fuss. Anyway, STAR will be tracking it daily, so I feel more confident that I will be better informed in future, and won't be made to feel like a nuisance. I'll let you know how I get on with my complaint.

[val lavender]

Hi Stacey

it might be very helpful to other women if you posted the details of the STAR project in the Been Raped Forum so that others can use this service.

Hope you are fit & well.




Regards

[Stacey]

Good idea, consider it done!

[maria]

hi stacey i think it stinks that the police haven't arrested him and let him go about his holiday i feel they should have arrested him straight away he could do this to someone else why should you be left to suffer and he enjoy a holiday stick your heels in girl and get him arrested good luck let us know how it goes to all on here HAPPY EASTER i hope you all enjoy the holiday xoxoxox

[Stacey]

Finally things seem to be getting somewhere...even if it isn't the place I want to go. I always hoped deep down J would just tell the truth, because he knows it as well as I do, but evidently this was not to be. I got a call from the Detective Sergeant today, who was actually the nicest and most professional member of the police who have dealt with me so far. I've been told that he has been arrested, questioned, and released on bail for 6 weeks, and so I should "prepare myself for the very real possibility of a court case". Although I can't be told what he has actually said in response to my allegations, I'm assuming he has disputed them, since I have been told that a court case may be likely. Doesn't mean that CPS can't reject it still though, and I have a sinking feeling that they will , because there isn't any forensic evidence.
I don't know how to describe how this feels really, I suppose I feel sad and let down by him all over again that not only has he done this to me, but he expects to get away with it. I feel very anxious about not being believed, which is what would happen if it all got dropped. My friends and family keep saying that at least the people who matter to me believe me, but I want EVERYONE to believe me because it's true. Grrr. It's very frustrating.

[maria]

stay strong stacey you have plenty of support don't let him get to you xoxoxo

[Stacey]

I actually have a question to anyone that may know - J has been released on bail but without any conditions that stop him from approaching me etc. Does that mean anything? Should I be reading into that? Because it has been implied to me at all points that he would probably have conditions not to approach me. So does it mean they think he's telling the truth or whatever? I don't know whether I'm just being paranoid. I'm not worries that he WILL approach me btw, just wondering if the terms of his bail mean anything.

[Stacey]

An update of sorts at long last....J's bail date is tomorrow, but I have just had a phone call from STAR to tell me that the police have finished things at their end, so it's likely his bail will be extended for another month or so to allow CPS to make their decision. I've been assured this is quite regular. Still, I was quite curious as to why nobody had contacted me to ask for the text messages J has sent me apologizing for what he had done, so the lady from STAR is asking the police to clarify things for me.

Nothing other than this. I can't wait til things are decided!

[Stacey]

OK.....no updates for a while, but things finally came to some sort of closure today......Charges have been dropped due to a lack of evidence, no surprises I guess. I felt deep down all along this might be the case. So I suppose that's it.
Thanks to everyone for their advice and support, I cannot say how much it has helped!!

[diana_holbourn]

Oh dear! That's depressing. And annoying.

Let's at least hope he's been scared off doing it again by the thought that he could have lost his freedom, rather than thinking he can get away with that behaviour. Hopefully now the police have his name on file, at least if someone does make another allegation, they might take it more seriously because one has been made before.

I hope you can still get on with living OK.

I'm glad you've found this forum helpful anyway.

[Saffron]

Hi Stacey

I'm really sorry to hear that. There seems to be no parity about the way these cases are handled in different parts of the country.
As Diana says though, now there will be a record of a complaint against him, so if he does anything like this again, there will be a previous case. And having nearly lost his freedom may scare him into not doing it again.

I know it sounds harsh, and unfair, but at least you have set the ball rolling. If he is vile and stupid enough to do it again, you may get your opportunity to see justice brought. If he doesn't do it again, you can believe that it is because your complaint made him understand that it was wrong.

I hope you continue to post here, as I am sure that many people value your support and advice, and I have certainly enjoyed reading your educated, informed posts. However, I know that you may want to start working on putting this ordeal behind you.

Good luck in everything you do,

Saffron