depressed husband, leaving me: what to do?

[Unregistered]

Hi
New to this forum. My husband has been depressed for at least 8 months now. I feel partially responsible as I was grieving my fathers death and very negative and, I admit, at times very bitter. But now he is a complete shell of the wonderful person he was. He is bitter, angry - not helped by his job which puts him in confrontational situations - and totally in denial that he has an issue. 4 months ago he was suicidal and admitted it, and that he was depressed, now he says I am making this up.
I should have approached his GP then, but because I love him and understand his refusal for being cast as "MENTALLY ILL" I didn't. How I regret that.
Now I don't know what to do. He says he will move out at the end of January. While I look forward to a respite from the negativity in the house, I worry very much about him. We have had weekends and days apart since this situation arouse and each time he is more negative and insular after spending time alone. He thinks it is rewarding and craves it.
It just gives me a fear that he will either blank me out completely (after nine years) or/and ruin his own life. I am not the only person he is excluding from his life, old friends are now considered not worth knowing and his children come for negative criticism too. The anger he displays in common social situations is very frightening. Any opinions welcome.

[quiet]

hi
If you have had some problems with grief yoursef, have you talked to anyone professionally about those, as that may help you to understand yourself, and possibly if it has had anything to do with your husband's depression.
I assume that he won't see a doctor now, which is a pity because they may be able to help him
otherwise, the best thing you could do would be to talk to each other as much as youc an about how and why you feel as you do, but it sounds like you have gone beyond this.
you can't force him to talk to people, or even talk to you.
If he won't talk, then you could try writing down how you feel, and how you want him to stay.
if he leaves, then try to keep in touch, so he knows that someone cares, and maybe when he is less depressed it will mean a lot to him. Imaybe you could do this by letters or email